


Home

by l_tales



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Bottom Anakin Skywalker, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff and Angst, Gray Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi, Happy Ending, M/M, Qui-Gon Jinn Lives, The Author Regrets Nothing, Time Travel, Top Obi-Wan Kenobi, accidental sugar daddy Obi-Wan, don't look at me that way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2020-01-09
Packaged: 2020-06-27 15:33:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 48,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19793830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/l_tales/pseuds/l_tales
Summary: Time travel fix-it story with a bit of a twist. After his death, Obi-Wan wakes up on Tatooine, in the body of his padawan self. But instead of trying to prevent Anakin from Falling, he decides to change the future by stopping Qui-Gon from ever meeting the little Ani. If Anakin lives like a civilian, away from the Temple and Palpatine, the world will be a better place... right?A story in which Obi-Wan learns that Anakin Skywalker will always be his home--and his ultimate weakness--regardless of his attempts to do the right thing and stay away.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [【授翻】Home（by little_tales）](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24229618) by [Transatlanticism_1015](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Transatlanticism_1015/pseuds/Transatlanticism_1015)



> Russian translation: https://ficbook.net/readfic/8963010

Dying was surprisingly easy.

Dying was easy compared to living in a world where he fought the monster his padawan had become.

As Vader's lightsaber lifted to strike him down, Obi-Wan closed his eyes and let himself become part of the Force.

But something went wrong.

Instead of becoming part of the Force or staying around to help Luke as a Force ghost, Obi-Wan felt himself fall into absolute darkness. And yet, he wasn't alone. Something ancient, something older than creation, was judging him, examining his very soul. The events of his long, painful life moved past him in a nauseating blur of memories.

Finally, everything stopped.

Something whispered, _It was the wrong path. You will be given another chance to correct the wrongs and bring the universe into balance._

When Obi-Wan opened his eyes, he immediately knew that something was amiss. For one thing, the fact that he opened his eyes at all shouldn't have been possible. For another, his body no longer felt weak and old. His joints didn't ache, his back didn't hurt, and there was a foreign feeling of strength in his muscles--a feeling Obi-Wan had almost forgotten.

Frowning, Obi-Wan sat up and stared at his young, smooth hands. Bolting to his feet, he nearly lost his balance, unused to his body.

The mirror in the fresher only confirmed his suspicions: he was young once again, likely in his early twenties. Obi-Wan stared at his smooth, unwrinkled face, at his _padawan braid_ \--and didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

His soul felt tired, so very tired and broken, but his body felt healthy and full of life. It was unnatural.

"Padawan?"

Obi-Wan flinched at the sound of Qui-Gon's voice. It took him a moment to realize that he was the padawan Qui-Gon was calling for.

Seeing his dead Master very much alive wasn't as big a shock as one might have thought.

But Qui-Gon's words were. "I'm going to Mos Espa to purchase the replacement parts to fix the hyperdrive. You stay here, protect the Queen."

Obi-Wan froze.

Could that be...? Was he really transported to the time of that damned mission?

But why? Why this day?

Obi-Wan pondered it.

Whoever--or whatever--sent him to the past wanted him to "correct the wrongs and bring the universe into balance," whatever it meant. What was he supposed to correct on this day?

The answer was...blatantly obvious. Anakin. It was the day Qui-Gon would meet Anakin, the day that would ultimately be the beginning of the end. If Anakin hadn't been brought to the Temple, Palpatine wouldn't have gotten his perfect weapon of destruction. There wouldn't be Anakin do betray Mace Windu, and the latter might have defeated Sidious. Mace had been one of the best duelists in the Jedi history. Master Yoda had seen security footage of that duel--he'd told Obi-Wan that Mace had come close to defeating the Sith and could have done it if it weren't for Anakin.

The Empire might have never been born if Qui-Gon never met Anakin Skywalker.

"Let me go to Mos Espa, Master," Obi-Wan said as Qui-Gon started turning away. "You know I'm better at haggling than you are. The locals will rip you off."

Qui-Gon frowned thoughtfully. "Perhaps you are right, Padawan. I'll stay with the Queen."

Relieved, Obi-Wan quickly headed out. When Jar-Jar and the young Padme Amidala attempted to join him, he politely but firmly declined, stating that he believed a sandstorm was coming. He left the disappointed "hand-maiden" on the ship, feeling the Force around him shift as he changed the future.

Anakin Skywalker would never meet Padme Amidala.

***

The problem was, Obi-Wan still needed to find the replacement parts to fix their ship, and Watto's shop was the only place in Mos Espa that had them.

Obi-Wan carefully avoided looking around as he talked to the Toydarian. He didn't want to see Anakin. He didn't want to see the kind, bright-eyed boy he'd once been.

But it seemed fate was determined to play a cruel joke on him once again.

As soon as Obi-Wan left Watto's shop, his path was blocked by a small, blond boy who crossed his arms over his chest and said, "Are you a Jedi?"

Obi-Wan stared at the boy's painfully familiar features, and couldn't find his voice. He was an old, broken man. He'd lost everything that had been dear to him thanks to this boy: his home, his family, his faith.

His heart still _ached_ as he stared at him.

"How do you know?" Obi-Wan managed finally, squashing down the urge to fall to his knees, pull the little Ani into his arms, and never let him go.

Anakin grinned. "I saw you mind trick Watto! It was karking amazing! I almost thought his brain would leak out of his ears!"

Obi-Wan winced. Anakin's observation wasn't far from the truth. Unfortunately, the Toydarians were notoriously resistant to 'Jedi mind tricks', and Obi-Wan had had to apply all his considerable skill at Force suggestions to break Watto's will. A Jedi less skilled at Force suggestions than Obi-Wan would have undoubtedly failed. He knew that Qui-Gon had, in the other life. But luckily, Obi-Wan had always been better than most Jedi at this particular skill. He wasn't proud of it, but his years on Tatooine had taught him that sometimes the end justified the means, and clinging to one's morals wasn't always the answer.

Except this time, Obi-Wan had clearly failed if he still hadn't managed to avoid an encounter with Anakin. He had hoped to get the replacement parts from Watto and return to the ship as soon as possible, avoiding even _looking_ at Anakin, but as always, Anakin Skywalker messed up all his plans.

"I am," Obi-Wan admitted.

Anakin looked down, chewing on his bottom lip, before looking up at him with childish hope in his _blue, blue_ eyes. "Then can you maybe convince Watto to free mom and me, too?"

And Obi-Wan's resolve crumbled.

He was self-aware enough to know that he could never say no to Anakin. Looking back, Obi-Wan knew it had been one of his greatest mistakes: he'd been too soft with Anakin, too indulgent. The few times he'd actually managed to say no to his padawan happened because Obi-Wan had felt too guilty about his attachment and tried to be a proper, impartial Master for a change.

Unfortunately, in his previous life, he'd picked the absolute worst times to be a stern Master, but there was no point dwelling on the past mistakes.

It seemed it was time to make new ones.

***

Obi-Wan didn't mind-trick Watto again. Even his considerable skills wouldn't be enough to do it again--he already had a splitting headache from his previous attempt as it was.

But being from the future where he'd lived decades on Tatooine had its advantages. Obi-Wan remembered where the Hutts had the hiding spots for their illegal cargo and money. Finding one wasn't too difficult, though it took him a while--long enough for Qui-Gon to comm him and ask him how things were going. Obi-Wan had assured his Master that the replacement parts would be delivered to the ship in the morning but Obi-Wan would have to stay for the night in Mos Espa to avoid the sandstorm.

Strictly speaking, Obi-Wan wasn't lying. He had barely managed to get his stolen goods to Watto and negotiate the price for Anakin and Shmi's freedom by the time the storm hit.

He spent the night in the Skywalkers' humble home, trying to stay away from Anakin as the boy gushed about him to his bewildered mother.

"Why did you do it, Master Kenobi?" Shmi said when Anakin finally fell asleep. She was frowning deeply, confusion and wariness radiating off her. "Why did you spend a fortune on freeing two strangers?"

Obi-Wan could have lied.

He didn't. "I know you may think I am insane, but in another life, Anakin was my padawan--my apprentice. I trained him from the boy he is now to a Jedi Knight. I... I cared deeply for him."

Shmi didn't laugh. Nor did she proclaim him insane. She stared at him for a long moment. "Are you saying... are you saying you're living the same life twice?"

Obi-Wan shook his head. "I think the Force sent me here to change history. I already have, by not allowing my Master to take Anakin to the Jedi Temple."

"I can see that you care for Ani," she said at last, frowning deeply. "Far more than a young man who's just met him should. But what you're saying... it's hard to believe, Master Kenobi."

"Call me Obi-Wan," he said with a wry smile. "I haven't been called Master Kenobi in decades, and strictly speaking, I'm not even a Jedi Knight yet in this life."

Shmi looked from him to the boy sleeping on the couch. "What are you planning to do now?"

Obi-Wan stared at Anakin's peaceful, content face.

He closed his eyes as he made the decision.

***

Next morning, he knelt in front of Anakin, hugged him tightly, and told him, "I want you to live a long, happy life. Can you do it for me, Anakin?"

Anakin eyed him oddly, his blue eyes confused and sad. "I don't want you to go."

Obi-Wan's throat closed up. _I don't want to leave you, either. But I should stay as far from you as possible. I already failed you in another life. I can't do it again, I won't let myself do it._

"You'll be happier without me," Obi-Wan said with a weak smile. "You're free now. You can go wherever you want, be whoever you want."

"Can't I be a Jedi like you, Obi-Wan?"

Obi-Wan's chest _hurt_. A lifetime of memories--of countless missions with his padawan by his side, of their snarky camaraderie, unspoken affection and blind trust--flashed in his mind, memories that now would never happen.

Anakin Skywalker would never be Obi-Wan Kenobi's padawan, not in this life.

"You can't, dear one," he croaked out, squeezing Anakin's shoulders slightly. "You can be something better."

Anakin's brows furrowed, his lips folding into a stubborn, achingly familiar pout. "Something better than a Jedi?"

"Yes," Obi-Wan said, kissing him on the forehead gently. "You can be yourself. You're very special, Anakin."

Anakin stared at him, frowning. "I don't want you to leave," he repeated unhappily, with something like bewilderment. "It feels wrong."

Obi-Wan wondered if it was the Force whispering to Anakin that they had been meant to be more than strangers who'd never see each other again. It was possible: Anakin was incredibly strong in the Force, even untrained.

"I have to," Obi-Wan said, taking in Anakin's familiar features, for the last time. "Trust your instincts, Anakin. They'll guide you and keep you safe."

Anakin's small hand clutched his tunic as Obi-Wan started pulling away. "Will you ever come back?"

Obi-Wan met those blue, hopeful eyes and knew he had to say no.

A clean break would be wiser.

He said, "It's unlikely."

***

Darth Maul stood no chance against an Obi-Wan who had a strong and young body and the superior knowledge of a Jedi Master and war general.

He killed Maul and saved Qui-Gon.

It was almost too easy.

Obi-Wan pretended he couldn't see Qui-Gon's stunned amazement, a faint suspicion in his eyes.

"I had no idea you improved your Soresu so much, Padawan," Qui-Gon said as they gazed at Maul's dead body.

Obi-Wan shrugged and ducked his head humbly. "Thank you, Master," he said, trying not to show how dejected he felt.

This just confirmed his old doubts that he could have saved his Master in their original life had he been _better, faster._

He hadn't been.

***

Qui-Gon was the one to cut his padawan braid this time around, but Obi-Wan didn't feel much of anything, no matter how much he tried. He'd grieved his master for decades and this just felt odd. Surreal. He couldn't even summon pride for being Knighted when his mind was that of a jaded Jedi Master.

***

Palpatine still became the Chancellor.

Obi-Wan didn't stop it--wouldn't stop it even if he could. A devil he knew was better than one he didn't. At least this way, Palpatine's future actions were somewhat predictable. There was no telling what Palpatine would do if he couldn't become the Chancellor.

***

Life went on.

Obi-Wan was sent on solo missions--something he hadn't gotten to do in his original life thanks to going straight from being a padawan to Anakin's Master.

It should have been exciting, his new life of an independent Jedi Knight.

It was lonely.

At night Obi-Wan lay wide awake, struggling to find a purpose. Even defeating Palpatine didn't seem to give him enough purpose to make him _live_ instead of just going through the motions. He was an old, broken soul living in a young, strong body.

There was only so much time he could spend plotting Palpatine's downfall before other thoughts started plaguing his mind, thoughts he tried to push away and yet they kept him awake at night.

Was Anakin all right?

What was he doing?

Was he living the simple life of a civilian or had he already run into trouble?

No matter how many times Obi-Wan told himself that Anakin was a closed chapter of his life, that Anakin wasn't his problem in this life, it didn't work.

For better or for worse, Anakin Skywalker had been the center of his world since Obi-Wan's twenties until the day Obi-Wan died. Even while he had lived on Tatooine, Darth Vader had been the reason he forced himself to get up in the mornings, the reason he protected Anakin's son to the best of his ability.

Darth Vader was the last thing he had seen before he died in his original life.

Darth Vader would never exist in this life; Obi-Wan had made sure of it.

If only it were as simple to erase the boy Darth Vader had once been from his mind--and his soul.

***

Obi-Wan found himself back on Tatooine a year and a half later.

_Just a brief visit_ , he told himself. Just a brief visit to check on the boy, to make sure Sidious hadn't somehow discovered him.

He didn't expect to find Anakin easily, but to his surprise, he saw him almost as soon as he set his foot in Mos Espa.

Anakin was sitting in the shade of the spaceport building, tinkering with a droid.

Obi-Wan stared at him, kind of unable to believe his eyes.

Anakin had grown. He was now in that awkward phase between a child and a teenager--he was eleven now.

As if feeling his gaze, Anakin lifted his head and looked around the spaceport before his blue eyes zeroed in on Obi-Wan.

A wide smile appeared on Anakin's face, open and full of joy, and Obi-Wan's old, broken soul stirred and _sang_.

If he were smarter, Obi-Wan would turn around and get back on his ship--and never come back. This boy was his ultimate weakness, the one attachment that had completely blinded him to the darkness that lurked behind that dear face. He had already proven that he couldn't be trusted with Anakin. He couldn't, shouldn't let himself get pulled into this boy's orbit again.

He should leave.

He _must_ leave.

Obi-Wan's feet didn't move.

He watched, transfixed, as Anakin approached him with light steps. "Obi-Wan!" he said, coming to a halt in front of him. Anakin's arms jerked toward Obi-Wan, as if he wanted to hug him, before he stopped and crossed them over his chest, flushing. He was no longer a child; hugging a man he barely knew was definitely not something eleven-year-old boys did.

"I knew you would come," Anakin said. "I dreamed of it."

Obi-Wan's eyebrows flew up. "You did?"

Anakin nodded with a shy, crooked smile. "I think it's called a Force vision?"

"So you know you're Force-sensitive," Obi-Wan said, unsure what else to say. The words seemed unimportant, meaningless. He would be content just to look at Anakin, watch his animated face and every change in his expression.

Force, he should have never come back.

***

"Mom told me that you said you were my Jedi Master in another life," Anakin said later that evening as they sat outside the Lars' farm, watching the suns set. "Though she doesn't really seem to believe it."

Obi-Wan studied his profile. "Do you?"

Anakin shrugged, pulling his knees to his chest.

He didn't say anything for a long time.

At last, he whispered, without looking at Obi-Wan, "You must have really hated being my Master if you traveled back in time to change it."

Obi-Wan cursed inwardly. He knew he shouldn't talk about this, should change the subject, should leave, but he remembered what it felt like not to be chosen, to feel unwanted and rejected, to feel _not enough_. It ate at him when he had been Anakin's age as Jedi Masters kept rejecting him again and again, choosing other children as their padawans. Making Anakin feel that way was the last thing Obi-Wan had wanted.

"No," Obi-Wan said, looking into the horizon as the Tatooine suns set. How many times had he watched this in his other life? How many times had he watched the sunset, wondering if Anakin had liked watching it decades ago?

"I didn't hate being his Master," Obi-Wan said, smiling wistfully as he remembered Anakin's wide, cocky smile when he'd managed to beat Obi-Wan for the first time in training. "He was...a joy to teach. Everything came easy to him. He was--" He had to cut himself off to swallow the lump in his throat. His eyes burned and he closed them.

A warm, small body pressed against side. "Did he die?" Anakin said in a small voice. "Is that why you didn't want to take me again? Because you blame yourself for his death?"

Obi-Wan opened his eyes and looked into Anakin's earnest face.

"Yes," Obi-Wan found himself saying. "He died. I couldn't save him."

Anakin pressed his cheek against Obi-Wan's bicep and wrapped an arm around his middle. "You saved _me_. Please don't be sad. I can't stand it when you're sad."

Obi-Wan's brows furrowed. Anakin shouldn't be so affected by his emotions, considering that to him, Obi-Wan was a near stranger.

Obi-Wan focused his senses and nearly flinched. The boy had somehow latched on the remnants of his broken Force bond to the other Anakin. It wasn't a fully-fledged bond yet, but the beginning of one.

Obi-Wan stared at it in horror and told himself to break it immediately.

***

He didn't break it.

Couldn't.

***

When he left Tatooine next day, Obi-Wan found himself hugging Anakin tightly and saying nothing when the boy demanded that he visit him soon.

***

"Soon" ended up being two months later, after a long, exhausting mission that took place nowhere close to Tatooine.

Obi-Wan felt beyond ashamed for his lack of willpower, but kark it, he was tired. The mission had been emotionally and mentally exhausting, making him question the Jedi and the Republic. He wanted to go home.

That was how Obi-Wan found himself putting Tatooine's coordinates into his navigator.

Home wasn't the Jedi Temple for him.

Home was the bright-eyed boy who ran toward him with a huge smile on his face as soon as he saw Obi-Wan approach the Lars farm.

Obi-Wan absorbed the impact as Anakin collided into him.

"You came back! I knew you would."

Obi-Wan closed his eyes, pulled Anakin's small body against him, and buried his face in his hair. He breathed, for what felt like the first time in months.

In decades.

Perhaps it was time to stop lying to himself.

He would never be able to stay away from this boy. He couldn't let go.

He wasn't strong enough.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin is fifteen. Obi-Wan isn't a good Jedi.

* * *

Obi-Wan scowled at Artoo as the droid bleeped something vaguely uncomplimentary about his piloting skills. "I don't know what I was thinking when I bought you," Obi-Wan said, steering the ship toward the Lars farm.

The decision to buy Artoo had been rather impulsive. He'd been on a diplomatic mission on Naboo, which inevitably had brought back painful memories, but when Obi-Wan had seen that droid, he had felt a pang of nostalgia, remembering how much Anakin had loved the annoying thing.

Queen Amidala had seemed surprised by his desire to buy her droid. "I thought the Jedi did not have possessions," she had said, looking at him curiously.

Obi-Wan had deflected her question, inwardly grimacing. There were many things the Jedi didn't do but Obi-Wan did.

A good Jedi wouldn't lie to the Council like he did. In the past four years, Obi-Wan had constantly neglected to inform the Council that his missions were over straight away in order to see Anakin before reporting to the Council.

Obi-Wan didn't even feel guilty anymore about those lies of omission; they were a necessary evil. He needed Anakin. If he didn't see Anakin for a long time, Obi-Wan became... worryingly detached, like an outsider watching others live. Anakin was the only thing that seemed to make him feel alive and humane, the only person that made his tired soul feel young and whole.

It probably wasn't very healthy, but Obi-Wan found that he didn't care. Even a brief visit to Tatooine lifted his spirits for a while, making him feel present and purposeful. Unfortunately, the effect was short-lived, and the more time passed without seeing Anakin, the more detached from anything else he became.

Obi-Wan drummed his fingers against the steering wheel, feeling distastefully impatient.

Three months.

It had been almost three months since he'd last seen Anakin. The diplomatic mission on Naboo had taken far longer than it should have.

Obi-Wan snapped out of his thoughts when he noticed the smoke in the distance.

His heart beating faster, he ordered Artoo to take over the piloting and peered at the smoke.

It was the Lars farm.

Obi-Wan jumped out of the ship before it even finished landing. He stared at the burning farm, panic making his chest tight. After Mustafar, the sight of a fire had become... rather jarring for him. He didn't even want to think about the possibility of _Anakin_ and _burning_ in the same sentence.

His heart pounding, Obi-Wan reached desperately for the bond he shared with Anakin--and almost staggered with relief when he felt him. Anakin was angry, scared, and in pain, but he was still alive and he wasn't inside the burning farm.

Obi-Wan could vaguely feel where to go, so he let the bond guide him, trusting the Force.

He had never run so fast in his life. He used the Force to make him faster, but it still felt like it had been ages before he saw them: the Sand People. There were fifteen of them, all armed. Anakin was being dragged behind them, tied to a bantha, his face in the sand.

Obi-Wan had known anger. Throughout both of his lives, he'd been angry on far more occasions than he would like to admit. But he'd never felt such _rage_ , rage that made his vision go red and all rational thought disappear.

Afterward, he wouldn't remember igniting his lightsaber. He would barely remember striking one Tusken after another--all but slaughtering them--until he was the only man standing.

Dropping his 'saber, he staggered to Anakin and fell to his knees beside his prone form.

Anakin's hair was matted with dried blood and sand, his right eye swollen, his lips split and bloody. "What took you so long?" he said with a brave, cheeky smile as Obi-Wan untied him with his shaking hands.

Normally, Obi-Wan would have quipped back. But at this moment, all he could do was pull Anakin into his lap and wrap his arms around him in a bone-crushing hug. _I'm not losing you again. **No one** will take you away from me again._ A distant part of him, one that could still think, was disturbed by his own thoughts. A good Jedi didn't think in those terms. A good Jedi should be able to let go, to maintain cool head at all times. One life should never be more precious than another. _There is no death; there is the Force._

Perhaps he wasn't a good Jedi anymore.

The thought didn't scare him.

Obi-Wan was tired. He was tired of being unselfish. He was tired of being miserable and alone. He'd spent his previous life following the Jedi Code to the best of his ability and he'd lost everyone and everything that was dear to him.The Force might have given him another chance to fix everything and save the galaxy, but Obi-Wan felt worn thin at the edges, unable to _give, give, and give_ and need nothing for himself.

 _Let me have this_ , he sent into the Force, holding Anakin tightly. _Let me keep him this time. Please_.

He felt a ripple in the Force, and he chose to interpret it as acceptance.

***

Shmi and her husband were alive. Apparently, they'd been in Mos Espa, and Anakin and Owen Lars had been the only people at the farm when the Tuskens attacked.

Owen was dead.

"They left me alive because they wanted to sell me," Anakin said, his gaze downcast. He radiated guilt--guilt Obi-Wan was intimately familiar with. Guilt of a survivor.

Cliegg Lars glared at the boy. "Aren't you a Force user? Couldn't you save my son?"

"Cliegg!" Shmi said.

Obi-Wan stepped closer to Anakin and laid a hand on his shoulder. The boy leaned into his touch, his Force presence reaching for him greedily, all but begging to be comforted. Obi-Wan wrapped him in a mental hug, entwining their Force signatures until Anakin's mental pleasure pushed away his guilt. Obi-Wan knew he shouldn't do it--it would just make Anakin feel worse when Obi-Wan would have to withdraw, but he couldn't just stand there and do nothing when Anakin needed him.

"Anakin is untrained," Obi-Wan said, suppressing his own anger. Cliegg had just lost his only son; it was natural that he was lashing out. "And he's just fifteen; he couldn't have possibly been expected to protect his step-brother."

Cliegg pressed his lips together and turned away, his knees giving out as he saw his son's burned body again. His shoulders hunched and a sob left his throat.

Shmi looked between her son and her husband, her expression torn. She clearly was hurting for her husband, understanding his grief and pain, but unwilling to hurt her own son by choosing to comfort Cliegg.

"I'll stay with Anakin," Obi-Wan said, taking pity on the woman.

Shmi shot him a grateful look, and Obi-Wan steered Anakin away from the half-destroyed farm.

They walked in silence for a while.

"It isn't your fault," Obi-Wan said at last. "You couldn't have done anything."

"I know." Anakin was still looking down, worrying his split lip with his teeth. It must have hurt, but Anakin either didn't notice the pain or wanted it.

Obi-Wan eyed him. It saddened him a little to see how much Anakin had changed between his visits. Anakin was taller now, though still shorter than him. His hair was also a lot longer than it had been at that age in the other life, falling in messy golden locks to his chin. Obi-Wan found himself smiling, remembering how much Anakin had hated his padawan haircut. He had grown his hair out as soon as he was Knighted.

"Take me with you," Anakin said.

Obi-Wan stopped. "What?"

Anakin turned to him and looked at him intently. "Take me with you. I don't want to live with Cliegg. He'll keep blaming me, I know he will, even if he doesn't say it anymore."

Obi-Wan stared at him, unsure what to say. "Anakin--what about your mother?"

Anakin frowned. "She loves him. I don't want to force her to choose." He looked Obi-Wan in the eye. "I know I can't be a Jedi, not at my age. But it doesn't mean I can't go with you to Coruscant."

"I can't take you to Coruscant," Obi-Wan said quickly. When Anakin's face fell, Obi-Wan clarified, "You shine too brightly in the Force, Anakin. I told you: there are people on Coruscant who would want your power, who would want to use you. I'm not letting them anywhere near you."

Anakin flushed and, biting his lip, dropped his gaze.

Obi-Wan could feel that Anakin was annoyed...and a little pleased for some reason. It was such an odd reaction, but Obi-Wan had come to realize that this Anakin was a little different from his former padawan. For one thing, he didn't have as much _anger_ in him as his padawan had had. It was natural, of course. This Anakin hadn't been taken away from his beloved mother as a child; instead, he was raised under her protective and loving care. This Anakin didn't have a huge prophecy hanging over him from his childhood. This Anakin wasn't told that his emotions were wrong. This Anakin could be the person Obi-Wan's padawan hadn't been allowed to become.

The thought was sad--and comforting.

At last, Anakin lifted his gaze. "But it's kriffing stupid, don't you think? I'm in danger here, too. If you didn't arrive--if you were even a little late, you would have never found me. There are hundreds of Tusken villages in the vicinity. I would have been raped and sold into slavery by the time you found the right one."

Obi-Wan flinched. Anakin was right, of course. It was a stroke of immense luck that he'd arrived when he had. Anakin was a beautiful boy. Slaves of his physical appearance--blue-eyed blonds--were highly valued by the slave traders. Anakin would have been bought immediately and possibly shipped off to another planet, making it impossible for Obi-Wan to find him--find him before his boy was broken.

The mere thought made him itch for his lightsaber, and Obi-Wan had to take a few deep breaths.

Anakin was fine. He was fine. Nothing had happened besides a few bruises.

_There's no emotion; there is peace._

_There's no emotion; there is peace._

It took him far longer than it should have to release his anger into the Force.

"A Sith Lord is a whole new level of danger, dear one," Obi-Wan said at last before hesitating. "But I'll train you so you can protect yourself from the Tuskens." It was something he'd been thinking about for a while, but he had wanted Anakin to have a normal childhood for as long as he could. Besides, training Anakin would have required getting him a lightsaber, and that was illegal. By the Republic law only a Jedi could own a lightsaber. Giving a lightsaber to a civilian minor would get Obi-Wan in serious trouble if anyone were to find out. "I'll get you a lightsaber."

Anakin's eyes lit up. He launched himself at Obi-Wan and gave him a tight hug. "Thank you," he said breathlessly against Obi-Wan's throat. "Love you so much."

Obi-Wan swallowed and licked his dry lips. This was another difference between this Anakin and the other. His padawan had never told him that he loved him, and neither had Obi-Wan--until Mustafar. They had been brothers, but they had been Jedi, and attachment wasn't spoken about.

But this Anakin could say whatever he wanted. He could love and not feel guilty about it. Obi-Wan had to admit it was probably much healthier for the boy's mental state. It still made Obi-Wan feel...strange whenever Anakin told him that he loved him. He knew it was the innocent love of a child, but it still felt monumental.

Unsure what to say--he never quite knew what to say when Anakin told him that--Obi-Wan cleared his throat.

"I've got something for you now, actually," he said, glancing at his ship in the distance. "A droid. I think you'll like him."

Anakin pulled back with a wide, excited smile. "A droid? You got me a droid? What model is he?"

Obi-Wan stared at that smile, his stomach warm with overwhelming affection. Force, he would buy Anakin hundreds of droids if it kept him smiling like that.

***

Obi-Wan returned to Tatooine sixteen days after he'd left.

He was anxious to get back, worried that the Tuskens might have attacked again while he was gone.

The Lars farm looked better now, though the fire damage was still very obvious.

Obi-Wan frowned, looking around. The arrival of his ship was impossible to miss, but Anakin didn't run out to greet him, as he normally did. Feeling a pang of anxiety, Obi-Wan reached to their bond. Anakin's mind was calm and peaceful. Obi-Wan relaxed, realizing that Anakin must be asleep.

He walked toward the house. Before he could knock, the door opened, and Shmi got out. She smiled weakly at Obi-Wan, her face tired and her eyes full of concern. "Obi-Wan, I'm so glad you're here."

Obi-Wan felt a pang of anxiety again. "Is something wrong with Anakin?"

Shmi sighed. Glancing back at the house, she wrapped her arms around her as if she were cold, even though it was a very hot day even by Tatooine's standards.

"Ani's fine," she said, a deep wrinkle appearing between her brows. She sighed again. "At least physically. But I worry for him. My husband... things have been difficult since Owen's death. I tried to talk to Cliegg, but he's too deep in grief to treat Ani fairly. He's hurting, and he blames Anakin." Her expression became pinched. "It's not even about the fact that Anakin didn't protect Owen. It's because we would have taken Owen with us to Mos Espa if it weren't for Anakin--I didn't want to leave Ani alone on the farm, unsupervised." She shook her head. "Rationally, Cliegg knows that it isn't Anakin's fault, but grief isn't rational. Owen was Cliegg's pride and joy." She swallowed. "I know I wouldn't have been able to be rational if I lost my son, either."

Obi-Wan pursed his lips. So it seemed Anakin had been correct, after all. "Why are you telling me this, Shmi?"

She met his gaze. Her eyes were filled with pain but also resolve. "Ani told me he'd asked you to take him with you but that you said no. I'm asking you to reconsider. I can't--I can't watch the two people I love hurt, and hurt each other. It's destroying them."

Obi-Wan frowned. "Shmi, I can't take him to Coruscant--"

"You can take him somewhere else, somewhere safe," Shmi said, looking at him pleadingly. "Please, Obi-Wan. I'm so scared for Ani. This toxic atmosphere isn't good for him. You know how he is, how deeply he feels. Cliegg's animosity and Ani's own guilt might drive him into doing something reckless. He's already started associating with some bad crowd. It scares me. Take him away for a while, let him see other worlds--it's his old dream. You were his Jedi Master. You know how to handle Ani. You're the only person I trust my son with."

Obi-Wan almost laughed. He was the last person Shmi should trust Anakin with. He'd already failed Anakin in another life--and failed spectacularly.

"I know you care deeply for him," she said, as if reading his thoughts. "I can see it when you look at him. Anakin's safety and happiness are paramount for you. That's all I care about. Take him."

Something in Obi-Wan's stomach churned uncomfortably.

_Take him._

He wanted to say yes.

He had wanted to say yes when Anakin had suggested it, too.

If Obi-Wan were honest with himself... these brief, infrequent visits weren't enough for him. He missed being Anakin's mentor, teaching him and watching him grow as a person. He missed having Anakin by his side all the time. He missed taking care of Anakin.

The shameful, distasteful truth was, he didn't like deferring to Shmi on Anakin. He didn't like that he had to accept her decisions and had no input whatsoever--because he had no right. He wasn't Anakin's Master in this life. He was just an older friend who visited him sporadically.

And he didn't like it.

He wanted... he wanted to be the _most_ important person in Anakin's life.

Obi-Wan wasn't proud of it. Such feelings were dangerously close to possessiveness, something a Jedi should never feel.

It was one of the reasons he had refused to take Anakin with him last time: Obi-Wan was disturbed by his own feelings on the matter.

Before Obi-Wan could say anything, the door behind Shmi opened and Anakin came out, yawning and rubbing at his face. "Mom, you should have woken me up--you know Cliegg will be pissed if he sees that I haven't finished--" Anakin's eyes finally focused on Obi-Wan and lit up with happiness.

It never got old.

Obi-Wan said wryly, "Aren't you a little old for afternoon naps, Anakin?"

Anakin strode toward him and slung his arms around Obi-Wan in a loose hug that was slightly too long to be casual.

"Oh, shut it," Anakin muttered against his neck, breathing deeply. "You would be napping too if you spent all morning fixing vaporators in this heat." Anakin lifted his head and looked at Obi-Wan curiously. "I didn't expect you back so soon."

Obi-Wan pushed back the lock of golden hair that fell into Anakin's eyes and tucked it behind his ear. "You need a haircut, dear one," he said, ignoring Anakin's unasked question.

Anakin leaned into his touch slightly, a faint flush appearing on his cheeks. "I was thinking of growing my hair out, actually. Or do you think it'll look girly?"

Obi-Wan smiled at him. "Since when does Anakin Skywalker care about what others would think?"

Anakin shrugged with a grin. "Your opinion will be taken into consideration. Maybe."

Obi-Wan snorted.

"Speaking of hair," Anakin said, touching Obi-Wan's scruffy jaw, his fingers light and curious. "You're growing out a beard."

"I see your observation skills are as excellent as ever, Anakin."

Anakin pouted, but his eyes were laughing.

Force, he was the most endearing thing Obi-Wan had ever seen.

A cough.

Startled, Obi-Wan dragged his gaze from Anakin and found Shmi watching them with a strange expression on her face.

Feeling as though he'd done something wrong, Obi-Wan took a step away from Anakin. But Anakin, being Anakin, took a step closer and, wrapping an arm around Obi-Wan's waist, leaned into his side, his cheek pressed against Obi-Wan's shoulder. "I'm so glad you're here," he murmured, ignoring his mother completely. "This house has been hell lately."

Shmi looked from her son to Obi-Wan, studying him carefully.

Obi-Wan wasn't quite sure what exactly he'd done wrong, but it felt like he was being judged.

"Is something the matter, Shmi?" Obi-Wan said calmly, meeting her gaze.

Slowly, the tension around Shmi disappeared. She shook her head to herself and smiled. "No, it's nothing. For a moment, I just thought... Never mind, it's silly." She shifted her gaze to Anakin. "Obi-Wan and I were discussing if he could take you with him when he leaves."

"Oh." Anakin looked at Obi-Wan. "You changed your mind?" he said, a little breathlessly, his arm tightening around Obi-Wan's waist, his blue eyes wide with hope.

Force, he _couldn't_ say no to those eyes. It had been simpler to say no to his padawan, because Obi-Wan had been able to just cite the Jedi Code or Yoda's teachings. Obi-Wan could do no such thing with this Anakin, forced to rely on his willpower alone.

And his willpower was unacceptably weak when it came to Anakin Skywalker. Obi-Wan was perfectly aware that Anakin had him wrapped around his little finger, but he could do nothing about it.

"Yes," Obi-Wan found himself saying. "I'll take you with me." _Where you belong_ , a voice whispered at the back of his mind.

Obi-Wan tried to ignore it. Instead, he focused on Anakin, who grinned and fist-pumped the air, his delight filling their bond like sunshine.

Shmi smiled, a little sadly, and met Obi-Wan's gaze again. "He's the most precious thing in the world for me. Take good care of him, Obi-Wan."

"I will," Obi-Wan said.

It felt like a vow.

It was.


	3. Chapter 3

* * *

One thing was clear: he couldn't take Anakin to Coruscant. The mere idea of Anakin being close to Palpatine made Obi-Wan anxious, so Coruscant was out of the question. He couldn't keep Anakin on the ship either, because Jedi didn't really have personal ships. Although Obi-Wan usually used the same ship, it wasn't his; other Jedi could use it too when Obi-Wan wasn't on a mission. Besides, it would have been too risky anyway. Anakin was untrained, and having him on his ship during dangerous missions would be beyond irresponsible.

So Obi-Wan found himself looking at planets close to Coruscant--close enough to be just a short trip away but irrelevant enough not to draw Palpatine's attention.

"That one," Anakin said confidently from his perch on the arm of Obi-Wan's chair.

Obi-Wan looked at the planet Anakin was pointing at on the holomap.

Planet Edaan, less than an hour of hyperspace travel away from Coruscant. The climate was pleasant, and while the planet was considered developed enough, it wasn't very populated because the planet had neither natural resources nor a strong economy. There was nothing remarkable about that planet. It was neither too poor nor too rich. Despite the close proximity to Coruscant, it wasn't on a prominent trade route, and the planet hadn't been visited by a Chancellor in several decades.

"It's perfect," Obi-Wan said.

Anakin grinned at him. "And there's no sand!"

Obi-Wan snorted, though after decades on Tatooine, he could definitely sympathize with Anakin over this. "I'm sure we can find sand if we look hard enough," he said, putting on a thoughtful face.

Anakin glared at him before laughing and demanding the pilot's seat.

Obi-Wan gave it to him, perfectly aware that even at fifteen Anakin was a better pilot than he would ever be.

He watched Anakin take over the controls, a frown of concentration on his face. A strange feeling twisted Obi-Wan's insides.

It took him a moment to identify it as satisfaction.

***

There was a common misconception that the Jedi didn't get paid for their service to the Republic.

Obi-Wan wasn't sure where it came from. If they didn't get paid, if their missions weren't properly funded, they wouldn't be able to accomplish much of anything.

The truth was, every mission was allotted a certain amount of credits by the Council depending on its difficulty, and then the bill was forwarded to the Republic. It _was_ true that Jedi Knights didn't have a salary in the normal sense of the word, but they got to keep any remaining funds after the mission was over--and it was usually a substantial sum if the Knight wasn't wasteful with his resources.

Which meant that even if Obi-Wan hadn't found other sources of income, he would have been financially secure after six years as a successful Jedi Knight.

But as of five years ago, Obi-Wan had also started investing his money in several small, unknown companies that he knew would do incredibly well in the next few years and become major corporations in the Republic's economy. Strictly speaking, it was...cheating, but Obi-Wan's conscience remained quiet. After decades on Tatooine, he was rather pragmatic about such things. War was expensive, especially the path Obi-Wan had chosen.

Since he was determined not to allow the Republic to use the clone army against the Separatists, he had been trying to infiltrate the ranks of what would be known as the Confederacy of Independent Systems. That required credits. A lot of credits. Not using his knowledge of the future would have been just foolish.

So thanks to his bold, incredibly _lucky_ investments, Obi-Wan had amassed an enormous fortune over the past five years under an alias of Ben Kenobi, a native of Stewjon and Obi-Wan Kenobi's estranged twin brother who allegedly despised the Jedi. "Ben Kenobi" was now a quickly rising member of the Commerce Guild, the Techno Union, and the Trade Federation: interstellar corporations that were part of the Separatists' Council in the original timeline.

Obi-Wan wanted to beat Sidious at his own game. The war between the Confederacy and the Republic was entirely avoidable if he played his cards right.

In any case, buying a house for Anakin wasn't a problem for Obi-Wan.

Finding one that suited their needs was. The house had to be in a secure location, in an area that was populated enough for Anakin to open a workshop, but remote and private enough for Anakin to train with a lightsaber without catching anyone's attention.

Obi-Wan started getting anxious that they wouldn't find anything suitable in time when they finally did, a day before he had to return to Coruscant to report on his mission--one that he had actually completed days ago.

They found a house on the outskirts of Seyne, one of the smaller cities of the planet.

It was a small but cozy two-bedroom house on a river bank. It stood a little apart from the rest of the city, behind a hill that blocked the house from the view. It would give them privacy, but the house was still close enough to the city for Anakin to establish his workshop there. They had to forge Anakin's age in his ID, to avoid people's curiosity, but since Anakin was from an Outer Rim planet, it wasn't difficult. As far as the locals were concerned, Anakin Skywalker was an eighteen-year-old who left the Outer Rim after inheriting a small fortune from his uncle--enough to buy a house on a Core world. Granted, Anakin looked like a _very_ young eighteen-year-old, but Obi-Wan knew he would hit his growth spurt soon and it wouldn't be much of a problem anymore. Convincing Anakin that the house must be under his name was the difficult part.

"It's your money, Obi-Wan," Anakin said, frowning, his jaw set stubbornly.

Obi-Wan shook his head. "Jedi are discouraged from owning property, Anakin. Besides, I don't want this house to be traced back to me. If Palpatine or Dooku take interest in me, they will find this house--and you--if the house is under my name."

Palpatine and Dooku had likely already taken interest in "Ben Kenobi" considering how quickly his influence had risen over the past five years, so buying the house under Ben's name was out of the question too. Ben's background was impeccable--Obi-Wan had even visited his native planet to make sure of it. The Kenobi family was gone: apparently they all died during a catastrophic hurricane that killed most of their home town several decades ago. There was no one alive who remembered the family well enough--the only thing people seemed to remember was that the Kenobi used to have two little boys. Since the official records were destroyed during the same hurricane, no one could prove that Obi-Wan Kenobi hadn't had a twin brother called Ben who had survived the hurricane and hated the Jedi for taking his twin away.

Still, if Ben Kenobi bought a small house on such an unremarkable planet like Edaan, that would certainly attract attention to Anakin, and it was the last thing Obi-Wan wanted.

Anakin still didn't look happy.

"Anakin," Obi-Wan said, tipping the boy's chin up with his fingers. He looked him in the eye. "Your mother entrusted me with you. It is now my responsibility to take care of you and your needs. Let me take care of you. I want to."

Two spots of color appeared on Anakin's cheeks. Biting his bottom lip, he nodded.

Relieved, Obi-Wan smiled at him.

Anakin smiled back.

But by the time the deal was finalized later that evening and they returned to the house, Anakin looked gloomy again. He flopped down on the couch in the living room, crossed his arms over his chest, and scowled at his boots.

Obi-Wan eyed him carefully, feeling a rush of fondness and wistfulness. It was the first time Anakin behaved like the sulky, angsty brat Obi-Wan's padawan had been at that age. Such behavior was something Obi-Wan had dealt with hundreds of times in the other life, but he didn't understand the reason for it now.

"What is it, Anakin?" he said, involuntarily adopting the patient tone he'd used on his padawan in the past.

Judging by Anakin's glare, it annoyed this Anakin as much as it had annoyed the other one.

"You're leaving tomorrow," Anakin said, returning his gaze to his boots. "And I'll be here all alone for who knows how long."

Oh.

Obi-Wan frowned. It was probably natural that Anakin was feeling separation anxiety--he was only fifteen, after all, no matter how independent and capable he was. Yes, Anakin had learned to take care of himself from a very young age, but he was still a teenager, very far away from home and his mother, on an unfamiliar planet, and now Obi-Wan was going to leave him too. Of course he was anxious. It would have been stranger if he wasn't.

Walking over, Obi-Wan knelt in front of Anakin and put his hands on his knees. "Anakin. Look at me."

Anakin clenched his jaw stubbornly before shooting Obi-Wan a look from under his fringe.

"If you want to go back to Tatooine, it isn't too late," Obi-Wan said softly.

Anakin scoffed. "I'll never voluntarily return to that sand hell."

"Not even for your mother?"

Anakin made a face. "Mom can always visit me here. And I think I'll be eventually able to talk her into moving to this planet after Cliegg gets over his grudge against me."

Obi-Wan was getting more confused by the moment. "Then what is the matter, Anakin? I thought you were having second thoughts, but if that is not the case..."

Anakin glared at him and said nothing, his lips folding into a stubborn pout.

"Do you not like the house?" Obi-Wan said, at a loss. "We can buy another."

Anakin huffed. "Are all Jedi as emotionally stunted as you?"

A laugh left Obi-Wan's lips. "I'm afraid they are. You'll have to spell it out for me."

Anakin stared at him for a moment. "I hate that you'll leave and I don't know when you'll be back"--a shadow crossed his face-- _"if_ you'll even be back."

Obi-Wan gave him a pinched look. Perhaps he should have expected this. His padawan had been as protective of him, getting angry whenever Obi-Wan had left him on Coruscant if he deemed the mission too dangerous for his padawan.

"Anakin," he said softly, prying Anakin's hands from their defensive position and taking them into his own. "I don't want to sound arrogant, but I am a very skilled Knight. You know I was actually a Jedi Master and a war general in another life."

But instead of becoming relieved, Anakin's expression darkened. "Right," he bit off. "The one in which you had your padawan there to protect you."

Obi-Wan frowned. There was so much venom in Anakin's voice when he spoke about his counterpart. It wasn't the first time he'd detected faint hostility from Anakin whenever they spoke about Obi-Wan's past life, but Obi-Wan had always thought Anakin was just feeling a little envious that the other Anakin had gotten to be a Jedi. But this venom... it felt deeper than that.

Watching Anakin, Obi-Wan said carefully, "I won't deny that you were a great padawan and an excellent comrade-in-arms who saved my life countless times, and vice versa, but--"

"It wasn't _me_ ," Anakin spit out, yanking his hands away. "It was your precious padawan, one who was so brave, and great, and karking perfect that apparently the sun shone out of his ass!"

"What are you talking about?" Obi-Wan said, his brows drawing together. "Anakin, _you_ were my padawan--"

"No, I wasn't!" Anakin snapped, jumping to his feet. "I'm not him, I'm just a cheap imitation of him that you keep around only because you miss the real thing."

Obi-Wan closed his eyes for a moment before saying, quietly but firmly, "Sit down."

When Anakin huffed, Obi-Wan opened his eyes and said again, "Sit."

There must be something on his face that was quite convincing, because Anakin looked at him uncertainly and sat down again.

"Anakin--the other Anakin--he wasn't perfect by any means," Obi-Wan said, without much inflection. "He was often annoying, short-tempered, and really too cocky and possessive for his own good. But he was kind and loyal, and he was my friend. He was my family, my younger, obnoxious brother that I all but raised." Brother wasn't quite the word he would use for Anakin, but Obi-Wan didn't know a word that fit better. No word ever did. Anakin was _Anakin_ , a whole separate category of attachment. "The day he died..." Obi-Wan's eyes started stinging as the image of Anakin burning alive flashed to the forefront of his mind. "When I lost him, I thought half of my soul died with him. I felt...broken. Charred from the inside out. And then I saw you."

"You saw him," Anakin said in a small voice.

"No," Obi-Wan said, taking Anakin's hands into his own again. He looked Anakin in the eye. "I know you are not him. Frankly, you and he are quite different from each other. He was so much angrier than you, more closed off, unhappier. Your different experiences shaped you into slightly different persons. But you have the same soul. You're Anakin." When Anakin opened his mouth to argue, Obi-Wan cut him off, "You're not his replacement, and definitely are not a cheap imitation of him. You... you fill the hole in my soul that was left when I lost him, but you fit in it a little differently. I assure you I can see the difference between you and him, and I don't find you lacking in any way. Quite the opposite, dear one."

Anakin licked his lips. "Really?"

Obi-Wan nodded with a rueful smile, squeezing his hands. "There's nothing you can do to make me feel otherwise." If even killing the Jedi younglings hadn't been enough to kill Obi-Wan's attachment to Anakin--any Anakin--he clearly was a hopeless case.

"Even if I'm not as good as him?" Anakin said, haltingly.

Obi-Wan frowned. He wasn't quite sure when Anakin had gotten this insecurity concerning his counterpart in the other life. When Anakin had been younger, he liked listening to Obi-Wan's stories, all but demanding that Obi-Wan told him about their adventures as a master-padawan pair.

"In what way?" Obi-Wan said.

"You said you'd train me, but... I likely won't be anywhere near as good as he was. I'm too old now."

"Anakin," Obi-Wan said with an exasperated sigh. "I want you to forget this ridiculous notion that my padawan was some kind of ideal you have to live up to. He wasn't. Frankly, the areas he was good at--dueling and Force manipulation--came instinctively to him. I have little doubt that they'll come instinctively to you, too. As for other areas...you're already better at meditating than he ever was." It was true. When Obi-Wan had taken time to teach Anakin how to meditate, he had been pleasantly surprised. It would be an exaggeration to say that Anakin was very good at meditating, but he was certainly better than his padawan, who hadn't even been able to sit still through a meditation session, his mind a chaos of his poorly repressed emotions. Anakin didn't have to repress his emotions in this life, which did wonders for his mental state. "You're more put together than he was at your age."

But his words didn't seem to placate Anakin. He was still frowning, his gaze searching as it roamed over Obi-Wan's face. He suddenly lunged forward, dropping himself into Obi-Wan's lap, and cradled Obi-Wan's face with his hands. "Just tell me you love me more," Anakin said fiercely. "That's all I care about."

Obi-Wan stared at him, feeling at a loss. His padawan had never behaved this way, never demanded declarations of affection so shamelessly. His padawan had known better than to ask such things from his Jedi Master.

But Anakin wasn't a padawan. No one had taught him that attachment was forbidden for a Jedi. Obi-Wan wasn't even sure that Anakin _knew_ about it: Obi-Wan certainly had never explicitly told him so.

Perhaps it was time to finally do that.

"I can't..." he started, but trailed off upon seeing how fragile Anakin's expression was. Now was a very bad time to tell Anakin that Obi-Wan couldn't--was forbidden to--love him. Anakin was probably feeling homesick as it was, no matter what he said.

"It's not a competition, dear one," Obi-Wan said, threading his fingers through Anakin's soft hair. "Your other self was my brother. I raised him since he was a small boy and he became someone I was immensely proud of. You... I didn't raise you this time--your mother did--but you are the only thing in this world that makes me feel human." Obi-Wan kissed the boy on his forehead, breathing in his scent.

He sighed. "I know a Jedi should never feel this way, but I've lost so much, dear one. Even though I've been given another chance to do better, it doesn't erase what happened in my original life." He closed his eyes, thinking of dead bodies littering the Temple, of fire and heartbreak, of aching loneliness for decades and countless _what ifs_. "My soul isn't what it once was. There's something wrong with it--with me. This second life... it still doesn't feel real. I feel..." Obi-Wan stared at the opposite wall, searching for a word. "...disconnected. I have trouble caring as much as I once did. You're the only exception. You make me feel whole in a way nothing else does."

Anakin hugged him tightly. "Then don't leave," he said. "Why do you have to leave? Stay with me. I need you, too. Every time you leave, it feels so wrong."

Obi-Wan imagined it: just not going back and staying with Anakin, spending every moment with him, teaching him, and watching him grow into a strong young man.

It was tempting.

It was far more tempting than it should have been. He was a Jedi. He had a duty to the Force. The Force had given him this second chance to right the wrongs, not to indulge himself.

"I can't, Anakin," he said, kissing him on the temple. "You know I have to save the galaxy from a Sith Lord--"

Anakin scoffed. "The galaxy can go kark itself for all I care if it means you're neglecting your own needs to save it." He pulled back and looked Obi-Wan in the eye. "I'm serious, Obi-Wan. If you need me, if I really make you feel better, I want to help you. This planet is just forty-six standard minutes away from Coruscant. You can come here every evening when you're between missions. I'll modify your ship's computer so it doesn't log your flights here. No one will know where you are at night."

Obi-Wan's stomach clenched. He should say no. It was too risky. Someone would notice eventually that he wasn't spending nights at the Temple.

"I'll be less lonely that way, too," Anakin added, giving him puppy eyes.

"You're a manipulative brat," Obi-Wan said without much heat.

Anakin grinned. "But you love me," he declared before kissing Obi-Wan on the cheek and then rubbing their cheeks together, like an affectionate feline. "Mmm, I like your beard. It feels good."

Obi-Wan closed his eyes for a moment, enjoying their closeness, before lifting Anakin and putting him on the floor. "You're a little too old to be sitting in my lap, Anakin."

"Says who?" Anakin said, rolling his eyes and jumping to his feet.

"Says me," Obi-Wan said dryly, getting to his feet as well. He smiled when Anakin yawned. "It's been a long day. I have to leave early in the morning. We should go to sleep."

To his surprise, Anakin didn't protest. He usually resisted going to bed whenever Obi-Wan visited the Skywalkers on Tatooine, wanting to spend as much time with Obi-Wan as he could. But this time he was suspiciously compliant when Obi-Wan wished him good night.

Anakin's obedience finally made sense when Obi-Wan heard his door open soon after he went to bed.

Anakin padded to Obi-Wan's bed, slipped between his sheets, and slung an arm over Obi-Wan's stomach.

"Anakin," Obi-Wan said exasperatedly.

"Just this once," Anakin murmured against his bicep. "Please?"

Obi-Wan gave in. It would hardly be the first time he shared a bed with Anakin. His padawan had slipped into his bed numerous times as a child, usually after a nightmare, and they'd shared a sleeping bag countless times during the war.

But somehow, this felt different. Obi-Wan wasn't sure why, but it did.

Nevertheless, his slight unease didn't stop him from relaxing, the familiar sound of Anakin's breathing slowly lulling him into sleep. It felt right. Everything finally felt right.

Obi-Wan slept better than he'd had in years.

He woke up with his boy in his arms, Anakin's head nestled in the crook of his neck.

Obi-Wan allowed himself to enjoy this stolen moment of peace and contentment before reluctantly extracting himself from Anakin's limbs.

He took a shower and got dressed in his Jedi clothes. Attaching his lightsaber to his belt, Obi-Wan looked back at the bed.

Realizing that he was loitering, Obi-Wan grimaced. Force, what was wrong with him? He couldn't stay with Anakin. Even if he could, lounging in bed all day long wasn't something a Jedi did.

Shaking his head in bemusement, Obi-Wan walked closer to the bed, and said, "Anakin, I'm leaving."

The boy stirred a little and pulled Obi-Wan's pillow to his face, hugging it tightly and refusing to open his eyes.

Obi-Wan couldn't help but smile fondly. It appeared Anakin was terrible at waking up in every universe.

He leaned down and kissed the top of Anakin's head. "I'll try to be back soon, dear one. May the Force be with you."

Anakin mumbled something sleepily, his eyes still closed.

Obi-Wan made himself pull away. He stared at Anakin one more time, taking in his peaceful, relaxed face and the air of contentment around him. Then he turned and strode out of the room, the feeling of well-being fading with every step he took.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin is sixteen.

* * *

Anakin closed his workshop a little earlier than usual and hopped into his speeder. He raced toward the house at a speed that would likely turn Obi-Wan green if he were here, which only brought a grin to his face. He felt so damn excited it felt like he was about to jump out of his own skin.

Obi-Wan was coming home tonight.

Kriff, it had been _forever_. Anakin hated these seemingly simple, brief missions that actually turned out to be complicated as hell, taking Obi-Wan away from him for months.

Anakin couldn't wait to see him-- couldn't wait to impress him with his progress. Obi-Wan had been insultingly skeptical when Anakin had told him that he wanted to master Obi-Wan's preferred form instead of the Fifth Form, which had apparently been the other Anakin's favorite.

"Being a master of a form isn't simply a matter of choice," Obi-Wan had told him with a frown. "It has to feel natural to you, suit your instincts and state of mind."

But Anakin had been undeterred. He was going to master Soresu, prove to Obi-Wan that he could do it--could do something the other Anakin couldn't do.

 _It's not a competition_ , Obi-Wan told him more than a year ago. Rationally, Anakin knew it, but...

But he was still determined to be the better Anakin, to make Obi-Wan proud. Besides, how could it not be a competition when the other Anakin had gotten to spend so much time with Obi-Wan while he had to be content with a few stolen hours a day--at best?

He didn't want Obi-Wan to miss the other Anakin, or even _think_ about him at all.

Obi-Wan was his.

Anakin landed the speeder in front of their house and jumped out of it. Calling his lightsaber into his hand, Anakin shed his jacket. He still had some time to kill until Obi-Wan's arrival.

He so lost himself in training, slipping into a semi-meditative state where all that existed was his body, the lightsaber in his hand, and the Force flowing through him, that he nearly missed the sound of the ship landing.

His eyes snapped open and a wide smile split his face as Obi-Wan emerged out of the ship.

The corners of Obi-Wan's eyes crinkled at the sight of him, and Anakin felt a wave of happiness--the sense of _finally_ \-- that wasn't just his own.

Anakin held himself still only by a sheer force of will, wanting Obi-Wan to approach him rather than vice versa. He wanted to prove to Obi-Wan that he had mastered self-control, that he could be mature, that he could behave with dignity and--

Oh, kriff it.

Anakin jumped into Obi-Wan's arms, slinging his own arms around Obi-Wan's neck and pressing their bodies together.

Obi-Wan chuckled and hugged him back, his embrace strong and familiar. Fuck, it felt so good. Anakin's eyes slipped shut as he nuzzled against Obi-Wan's cheek, breathing in Obi-Wan's familiar scent and enjoying the way his beard prickled his smooth skin. "I missed you."

He didn't really expect Obi-Wan to say it back; by now Anakin was well aware of the Jedi's stupid stance on attachments. It was enough for him that Obi-Wan never rebuked him for his affections, never told him they were unwanted. Anakin was perfectly aware of how many Jedi rules Obi-Wan had broken for him, so he _knew_ Obi-Wan cared for him. Obi-Wan's actions spoke louder than any words. He didn't need Obi-Wan to tell him that he missed him when Obi-Wan could barely seem to be able to look away from him after a long time apart.

Obi-Wan sighed, his arms tightening around Anakin. "You were missed, too, dear one."

Anakin shivered in delight. Obi-Wan's words, despite their simplicity, sent a wave of warmth and pleasure through him, his body going boneless against Obi-Wan, forcing the Jedi to take all his weight. Obi-Wan did it easily. Anakin might be taller now, but Obi-Wan would probably always be stronger. Anakin was sure that Obi-Wan's arms would always feel like the safest place in the world for him. His favorite place in the world.

"Now let me look at you," Obi-Wan said.

Anakin pulled back a little, dragging his half-parted mouth across Obi-Wan's jaw as he did so. For a moment, he braced himself, certain that he'd gone too far, but Obi-Wan didn't comment.

Relaxing, Anakin smiled at the Jedi Knight innocently, pretending that his mouth wasn't tingling.

"Hmm, I think you are done growing," Obi-Wan said, his gaze pensive and endlessly fond. "Well, that's a relief. Buying clothes for you wasn't an easy task when you kept outgrowing them in a month."

"I never asked you to buy me clothes," Anakin said, sliding a hand up Obi-Wan's neck and running his fingers through Obi-Wan's thick, gorgeous hair. "I'm perfectly capable of doing it myself." His tone was mild: he didn't really mind the clothes Obi-Wan had brought him from his travels. They were usually native to the planet Obi-Wan's mission was on, and Anakin liked feeling like he was part of those missions.

_Right. That's totally the reason you like wearing the stuff he buys for you._

Anakin felt himself blush. All right, if he were honest, he liked having physical proof that Obi-Wan had stiill been thinking about him while he was away, that Obi-Wan had hand-picked those clothes for him, maybe _imagining_ Anakin in them.

Anakin dropped his gaze, hoping Obi-Wan couldn't sense the direction of his thoughts. Though he didn't know why he even worried: Obi-Wan never seemed to notice that he wasn't exactly a kid anymore.

"How was your mission?" Anakin said, changing the subject as he met those blue-gray eyes. Fuck, he _loved_ the way Obi-Wan looked at him: as if he were the most fascinating, most important thing in the world. Anakin licked his dry lips. "Did Artoo help you?"

Obi-Wan made a face, but admitted, "He did."

Anakin smiled, feeling pleased with himself. "See? You should have taken him with you ages ago. He's an astromech. He gets bored here."

_I get bored here, too._

He didn't say it, but Obi-Wan seemed to somehow always know what he meant, anyway. It was so strange how Obi-Wan could be so oblivious in certain things but also freakishly attuned to Anakin's emotional state.

Obi-Wan sighed. "Anakin..." He laid a hand on Anakin's shoulder and steered him toward the house. "Didn't you have fun at the podracing tournament on Theron?"

Anakin smiled faintly. "Sure, it was amazing. Thanks for the ticket." The incredibly expensive VIP ticket for a luxurious room with a private balcony that had a great view of the race. Personally, Anakin didn't need a fancy seat to enjoy a good race, but it was the thought that counted. He knew Obi-Wan felt guilty when he left him alone for a long time, and the longer he was absent, the more thoughtful his gifts got. And Anakin couldn't deny that he _liked_ being spoiled by Obi-Wan. He was perfectly aware that cherishing and spoiling someone was very much against what the Jedi believed in, so it meant a lot. It did.

But...

"I just wished you were there with me," Anakin said, without looking at Obi-Wan.

"I wanted to," Obi-Wan said, his Force signature brushing against Anakin's.

Anakin touched back, but kept his shields up, out of self-preservation than anything else. Every time he allowed a deeper merge of their Force signatures, he felt absolutely wretched after Obi-Wan pulled out: achingly alone and needy.

"But you know I had to be present at a Trade Federation meeting Ben couldn't miss, and I had to juggle it and my Jedi mission, which was a nearly impossible task." A deep wrinkle appeared between Obi-Wan's brows, his exhaustion apparent.

Anakin's lips pursed. "One day you'll keel over from exhaustion. This double life is too dangerous. What if Palpatine starts suspecting something?"

Obi-Wan shrugged. "I know it's risky, but it's the only way, Anakin."

"I still think you should tell the Jedi Council about Palpatine."

Obi-Wan shook his head slightly. "I can't risk a leak. Besides, telling the Council wouldn't remove Palpatine from the position of a Chancellor. Strictly speaking, being a Sith isn't a crime recognized by the modern Republic. We need proof that Palpatine has betrayed the Republic, proof I can only obtain as Ben, through the Separatists' Council, whenever it's formed. There are already rumors that it'll happen soon."

Anakin frowned. "Really? I thought it happened later in your other life."

Obi-Wan's lips tinned. He nodded absently. "There was always the possibility that Palpatine's plans might change if he never met you..."

Anakin stared at him. "What do you mean? What do I have to do with Palpatine's plans?"

Obi-Wan's face became blank.

"Nothing," he said, without meeting Anakin's gaze. "One just can never be sure what will change when one alters time."

"Bullshit," Anakin said, his eyes narrowing. "Tell me what you meant."

Obi-Wan was terribly still.

Anakin got a sinking feeling in his stomach. He'd always suspected that there was something Obi-Wan wasn't telling him. In fact, there was one subject Obi-Wan had always seemed to avoid.

"How did he die?" Anakin said. "The other me."

When Obi-Wan's jaw clenched, Anakin knew his guess was right.

"Did...did Palpatine kill him?"

A laugh, harsh and ugly, left Obi-Wan's throat. "No, he didn't. I did."

Anakin felt as though he'd been punched.

"What?" he whispered, his lips barely moving.

Obi-Wan sighed, took his wrist, and pulled him down to the grass. He sat cross-legged in an almost meditative position, except there was nothing remotely calm about his eyes. They looked haunted.

"Please sit," Obi-Wan said.

Anakin did.

Then Obi-Wan started talking.

By the time he was done, Anakin felt a mix of stunned and sick. He got to his feet and turned his back to Obi-Wan, his mind still reeling from everything Obi-Wan had told him.

He had been a Sith Lord in another life. He'd betrayed Obi-Wan--he'd betrayed everyone. He'd become some kind of killing machine that terrorized the galaxy. He was a murderer. A murderer of _children_.

"Anakin, say something," Obi-Wan said, his mental presence probing him through their bond warily. "Anakin?"

A laugh left Anakin's throat, harsh and a little hysterical, but also a little relieved.

It was probably fucked up, but he was relieved.

At least now he didn't have to worry about being inferior to the other Anakin. He could hardly disappoint Obi-Wan more than the other Anakin had. 

He could feel Obi-Wan's confusion. "Anakin?"

"You should have told me from the beginning," Anakin said, staring at the river. "Do you have any idea how inadequate I felt all these years compared to your perfect padawan?"

"I told you he wasn't perfect--"

"I thought you were just placating me," Anakin said, biting the inside of his cheek. "I thought you were just trying to make me feel better. If you told me that he was a karking idiot and a traitor, it would have made a world's difference."

"He wasn't an idiot," Obi-Wan said. "He wasn't to blame. He was brainwashed by Palpatine for years."

"He _was_ an idiot," Anakin said with a snort, turning to Obi-Wan. "How could he--how could he even think you were his enemy? He had you as his Master, he had your love and trust, but he threw it all away. And for what? For some girl he barely knew!"

A shadow crossed Obi-Wan's face. Pain? Regret? "I never told Anakin that I... that I loved him until it was too late."

Anakin scoffed. "That's hardly an excuse. You never tell me that you love me either, but I'm not dumb. I can see it. I can feel it."

A faint flush appeared on Obi-Wan's cheekbones. He averted his gaze, his jaw tight. "Anakin, you must understand that I don't...I didn't act with him as I act with you. As his Jedi Master, I had to be an authority figure for him, I had to teach him that strong emotions were wrong. I couldn't behave in any way that contradicted those teachings. I _was_ rather soft with him, too indulgent, but I don't think he's ever realized that other Masters would have been sterner. He didn't grow up in the Temple; he had no one to compare me to. So I don't think he ever knew about my... attachment to him."

Anakin stared at him, bewildered. He had trouble wrapping his mind around it. He could feel the depth of Obi-Wan's affection for him in his every look, every touch. He couldn't believe his other self hadn't been able to see it.

_Maybe you see it only because he allows you to see it._

The thought was... eye-opening. Was Obi-Wan much more affectionate with him than he'd been with the other Anakin? Did Obi-Wan allow him to see how much he cared because he didn't want to repeat his past mistakes?

Frowning, Anakin tried to imagine being raised by a more aloof version of Obi-Wan, one who hadn't really chosen him, and one who insisted that Jedi shouldn't feel love... And he could see how it could make him insecure and desperate for affection and understanding--any affection and understanding. He could see himself latching on Senator Amidala and Palpatine, people who praised him and were openly affectionate with him--as opposed to his Master who refused to even admit that he was capable of feeling emotion.

Force.

For the first time since he'd met Obi-Wan, he was starting to think that he might be the lucky Anakin, after all. Obi-Wan wouldn't be _his_ Obi-Wan if he hadn't been the other Anakin's Master first--if his past mistakes and losses hadn't shaped him into the man Anakin knew and adored.

Anakin looked at Obi-Wan: at his concerned face and haunted eyes, at the tense set of his shoulders. His insides twisted as he realized how much Obi-Wan had suffered in his previous life, how much he'd lost, the sheer extent of it. Not only Obi-Wan had lost everything, but he'd been betrayed by the boy he'd raised and loved, the boy _Anakin_ would have become had Obi-Wan not changed the future, betrayed in the worst possible way, and then he was forced to kill what he loved.

Anakin walked over, fell to his knees, and crawled into Obi-Wan's lap. "I'm sorry," he whispered, hugging him tightly. "I'm so sorry, Master."

Obi-Wan went rigid against him.

For a moment, Anakin was confused before realizing what he'd just said. He flushed, his stomach squirming. He couldn't deny that calling Obi-Wan "Master" was something he'd wanted to do for a long time--it felt _right_ \--but he'd carefully avoided doing it, since Obi-Wan hadn't ever indicated that it would be welcome. "Sorry," Anakin said, wincing. "I shouldn't have called you that--I'm not really your padawan--"

"No," Obi-Wan said. His voice sounded strange. "I don't mind, Anakin."

Anakin frowned, wishing he could see Obi-Wan's face. Was Obi-Wan just saying it to make him feel better? He probed at their bond, trying to gauge Obi-Wan's emotions, but could sense nothing because of Obi-Wan's shields.

"You sure it won't be, like, painful for you?" Anakin said. "I don't want to bring back bad memories, Master." The word rolled out of his mouth even smoother this time. Anakin enjoyed saying it, which was probably weird, considering his past as a slave. But it felt good. It felt like the most natural thing in the world, and Anakin couldn't help saying it again. "Master, I--"

Obi-Wan's arms crushed him to him. "I'm sure," he said hoarsely. "Of course you can call me Master if you want, Anakin."

Anakin smiled a little, nuzzling the side of Obi-Wan's face. "What about what _you_ want? Like, I know you love spoiling me." Actually, now it made a twisted sort of sense why Obi-Wan did it: it was probably overcompensation for his perceived shortcomings in another life. "But I want to please you, too. I hate it when you're sad. Want to make you feel good, Master."

Obi-Wan's body stiffened against him. He swallowed audibly.

Anakin's heart jumped into his throat, his cock twitching. He honestly _hadn't_ meant it as an innuendo, but he was now painfully aware that it sounded like one--and it seemed Obi-Wan actually hadn't missed it.

Obi-Wan was very still, his arms around Anakin loosening. They were still pressed close and Anakin was in his lap, so it was probably impossible for Obi-Wan to miss the hardness poking him into his stomach.

Anakin's face heat up.

The silence stretched, thick and charged. Anakin's whole body felt on fire. He wanted to rub against Obi-Wan like a horny teenager he was. He wanted to shove him down and swallow his cock. He would be so _good_ for his Master--

Obi-Wan cleared his throat and pulled back, gently pushing Anakin off his lap. "Did you practice your Soresu while I was away?"

Anakin blinked.

Seriously? Obi-Wan was just going to pretend he hadn't noticed anything?

"Sure," he said, finally finding the courage to look Obi-Wan in the eye.

Obi-Wan's expression seemed almost normal. Almost. His jaw was a little bit tighter, and his shields were like a fortress, not allowing Anakin even a glimpse of his emotions.

Obi-Wan got to his feet with rather uncharacteristic for him lack of grace and ignited his lightsaber. "Let's see, then."

Anakin had barely managed to get to his feet when Obi-Wan attacked. Yelping, Anakin ducked. He brought his own lightsaber up just in time to block Obi-Wan's strike.

Obi-Wan was using the Second Form to test Anakin's Soresu, and he wasn't as amazing at it as he was at his favorite form, which was probably the only reason Anakin wasn't already on his ass. Dueling with a raging hard-on wasn't fun, and watching Obi-Wan's skill with a lightsaber didn't exactly help the situation in Anakin's pants.

But Anakin _was_ good, in his not-so-humble opinion. He had practiced a lot over the past few months, had practiced until the Form III came easily to him.

"Stop!" Obi-Wan called when Anakin went on the offensive.

Anakin came to a halt, trying to shake off his adrenaline.

He found Obi-Wan smiling crookedly.

"What?" Anakin said, still panting.

"You have indeed improved," Obi-Wan, nodding in approval. "Good job."

Anakin smiled, the praise making his skin tingle.

"But," Obi-Wan said, amusement flickering across his face. "You're still slipping into Djem So."

Anakin's face fell.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Obi-Wan sighed. "It's not a bad thing, Anakin. Your other self was amazing at the Fifth Form for a reason. Even Dooku thought that Anakin was the finest Djem So practitioner he'd ever seen, and I happen to agree. It comes naturally to you, unlike Soresu. Don't get me wrong: with enough dedication, you will master Soresu too, but I think you shouldn't fight your nature." Clipping his lightsaber to his belt, Obi-Wan met Anakin's eyes. "You don't have to be different from him to be your own person, dear one."

Swallowing, Anakin nodded and ducked his head. "I'll think about it, Master."

Obi-Wan's shields failed for a moment and Anakin felt a wave of _satisfaction-guilt-pleasure_ through their bond.

Anakin's eyes widened.

Obi-Wan actually _liked_ it when he called him Master. Obi-Wan _wanted_ it.

Anakin bit his bottom lip, hiding his grin, as he looked back at Obi-Wan--at his Master--and ignited his lightsaber again. "Another round? I'll use Djem So this time."

The approval in Obi-Wan's eyes made Anakin shiver and flush.

 _Ugh, kriffing hell, focus, Skywalker_ , he told himself and went on the offensive, slipping into the Fifth Form as easily as he breathed. He had to admit Obi-Wan was right: Djem So felt far more natural to him than Soresu ever did.

His Master was smiling as their lightsabers clashed, his gaze soft but also strangely intense and intent, making Anakin feel like he was the only thing in the world.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin is seventeen. Obi-Wan finally stops being in denial, but it doesn't make anything easier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: morally dubious content. While there's no underage sex, Obi-Wan's thoughts are far from innocent at this point.

* * *

* * *

Obi-Wan sat in the Room of a Thousand Fountains, his eyes closed as he tried to meditate, _tried_ being the key word. His mind was too loud, his doubts and confusion making it impossible to focus.

"Obi-Wan!"

He flinched and opened his eyes. Quinlan Vos was smiling in amusement as he seated himself opposite him. "What are you doing here?"

"Pardon?" Obi-Wan said, raising an eyebrow.

His old friend gave him a flat look, his eyes dancing with mirth. "I don't remember the last time I saw you at the Temple in the evening."

Obi-Wan tried not to tense up. He told himself he had been careful. There was no way Quinlan could know about Anakin.

Quinlan smirked. "You seem to be allergic to spending nights here. Not that I blame you." He winked. "We're healthy men in our prime. That said, they must be incredibly beautiful to keep you in their bed for such a long time."

Quinlan's insinuations--incorrect insinuations--should have relaxed him.

They didn't.

Obi-Wan stared blankly at the other Jedi. Unbidden, the image of Anakin's golden skin against the white sheets flashed to the forefront of his mind.

Unsettled, Obi-Wan pushed it away. Quinlan's insinuations _were_ wrong. The fact that he sometimes ended up sleeping with Anakin was perfectly innocent. They literally _slept_ together. He had nothing to feel guilty about.

Regardless of Anakin's... physical reaction to him, their relationship was that of a mentor and his ward. They were also friends. Nothing more. Anakin was sixteen. At that age, anything could get him aroused--he remembered what Anakin had been like at that age in the other life. While Obi-Wan couldn't remember him ever getting aroused from Obi-Wan's proximity, if his padawan had ever had a crush on him, it clearly hadn't been serious enough if he married Senator Amidala a few years later.

So all Obi-Wan had to do was ignore it until Anakin got over that uncomfortable phase. It shouldn't have bothered him at all.

It didn't bother him.

He was... unsettled because he didn't know how to handle it.

That was all.

***

Staring at the neon lights of the pleasure house and a half-naked twi'lek female who was greeting the customers, Obi-Wan knew immediately that it was a test.

Beside him, Cadeb LaFer was looking around with a leering smile on his face, but Obi-Wan didn't miss that he also kept a sharp eye on "Ben."

Waiting for him to slip, no doubt.

Well, he would be waiting for a long time.

Pasting an appreciative smile on his face, Obi-Wan told his companion, "I like this place. It's a pity the Count couldn't come with us."

Count Dooku's aide snorted. "He's an old man, Ben. The spirit might be willing, but the flesh is weak, if you get what I mean."

Obi-Wan smiled faintly and nodded. He made sure to keep his expression interested and a little excited as they walked deeper into the huge, half-lit room.

It was full of people in various state of undress. Some were dancing, some were kissing and groping each other, and a good portion of the customers were engaged in some form of sexual intercourse, moans drowning out even the music. The sight was vulgar and obscene--and undoubtedly too shocking for a Jedi.

But Ben Kenobi wasn't a Jedi. Obi-Wan couldn't let himself show his distaste and discomfort.

He wondered if Dooku truly suspected him or if it was the last test before Ben would be trusted implicitly.

Either way, he couldn't afford to fail it.

"What will you have?" LaFer said, eyeing appreciatively the naked Togruta that was serving drinks nearby--or rather, her breasts that were bouncing with her every move.

Obi-Wan had little doubt that LaFer wasn't asking what he was going to drink.

Resigned, Obi-Wan let his eyes roam over the room, looking for someone suitable. It was becoming increasingly obvious that he wasn't leaving this establishment without behaving obscenely if he wanted to keep his cover intact.

Obi-Wan grimaced on the inside. While he wasn't prudish--contrary to popular opinion, Jedi weren't monks--Obi-Wan had never enjoyed an audience.

But he had little choice now. He had to choose someone.

His gaze stopped on the half-naked human woman sitting at the table in the corner. No, not a woman; a girl. She was so young she was probably eighteen or nineteen.

 _Too young_. Even if he didn't consider his mental age, she was too young for a thirty-two-year-old man.

But he couldn't seem to be able to look away, his gaze roaming over her perky breasts in a lacy bra, her long, graceful neck, her full lips and sharp jaw, her golden, wavy hair.

LaFer laughed and clasped his shoulder. "Nice. Like them young and pretty, my friend?"

Obi-Wan forced out a smile and averted his gaze. "She's jailbait. I don't want trouble."

LaFer leered at the girl. "If she was admitted here, she must be at least eighteen, perfectly legal. Go for it, or I will, Ben."

The thought of a fifty-something LaFer putting his paws all over the girl was... highly unsettling, so Obi-Wan went.

"Good evening," he said, stopping in front of the girl.

She looked up from the fruity drink she was nursing and blinked at him before her blue eyes slowly traveled all over him in a manner that had his cock twitching.

"Good evening," she said with a smile. "Would you like to sit with me?"

Obi-Wan did.

Half an hour later, he was still sitting, but the girl was writhing in his lap, moans slipping out of her mouth as he kissed her breasts while her deft fingers stroked his cock.

Obi-Wan honestly hadn't intended to let it go this far. He had wanted to put on a convincing show for LaFer, eradicating any suspicion that he might be a Jedi undercover, but his arousal got the better of him. It had just been so long... _Years_. And there was a peculiar tension in his body lately, one that demanded physical release.

So Obi-Wan didn't stop the girl as she pushed her underwear aside and sank down onto his length. He gritted his teeth, the feeling of tightness around him incredibly gratifying. His hands settled on her thighs under her short skirt and helped her ride him. His vision was swimming, the neon lights, the slow, rhythmic music, the sounds of sex, the tight heat around him quickly overwhelming his senses. He could barely even see the girl, burying his face in her golden hair as he thrust up into the tightness.

Soon, the girl was moaning, coming apart on his cock, her inner walls squeezing him as she orgasmed. But that didn't push him over the edge.

What she did next did.

Sighing contentedly, she rubbed her cheek against his jaw and murmured, "I like your beard."

 _I like your beard_ , another voice echoed in his mind, lower and affectionate.

Obi-Wan shuddered, slammed hard into her, and came.

He didn't remember leaving the girl. He couldn't remember leaving the pleasure house. Obi-Wan felt dazed, in some sort of shock, as he closed the door to his hotel room and leaned back against it.

Had he--had he really just...

No.

Absolutely not.

It was unthinkable.

Anakin was... had been his brother. In another life, Obi-Wan had _raised_ him. Obi-Wan had been the closest thing Anakin had to a father.

 _But it's a different Anakin_ , a voice said at the back of his mind. _You didn't raise him this time._

Disturbed by his own attempts to justify his monstrous, perverse attraction to a _sixteen-year-old_ , Obi-Wan sank down to the floor and closed his eyes, opening himself to the Force.

He forced himself to remember all the times that he'd _wanted_ , memories that his subconscious seemed to have repressed or ignored.

In hindsight, it all should have been obvious. His attachment to Anakin was...different from his attachment to his padawan, had always been, but it had become more intense and all-consuming in the past few years. Anakin was his whole world, the only person Obi-Wan felt truly alive with. Over the years, his fixation on Anakin must have twisted itself into something it should not have. Even though his soul felt old and jaded, his body was young and healthy. It had needs he'd neglected for years, because he spent his every free moment with Anakin when he wasn't living a double life. It was probably unavoidable that he would start transferring his unfulfilled desires to the person his life revolved around as Anakin transformed from a boy to a young man.

It still didn't make it acceptable by any stretch of imagination.

There was only one possible solution: he must end his association with Anakin. It was one thing to indulge himself when his attachment had been harmless, but completely another when it was so shameful and perverse.

Anakin deserved better.

***

Fear wasn't something a Jedi was supposed to feel.

But it was the emotion Obi-Wan was feeling all the same or he wouldn't be postponing a trip to Edaan for the past two months even though he'd had several opportunities for a visit. He'd even missed Anakin's seventeenth birthday, no doubt hurting the boy's feelings immensely.

It was cowardly.

But it seemed he still hadn't learned how to let go of people he loved.

To make things worse, there was a bottomless hunger in the pit of his soul, the gnawing need to see Anakin that had nothing to do with wanting to tell him that he would never return.

He wanted to see Anakin. It was all he wanted.

 _Liar_ , a voice said at the back of his mind. _You want to touch him, to put your dirty, perverted paws all over him and breathe him in, merge your minds and bodies until you're in his every cell._

Sickened by his own thoughts and desires, Obi-Wan set his jaw and plotted the course for Edaan.

It was time to end this madness.

***

He found Anakin in his workshop, working on a droid.

Masking himself in the Force, Obi-Wan watched him from the doorway, feeling deeply ashamed of himself but unable to stop.

It was the last time, after all.

After this afternoon, he would never see Anakin again.

The mere idea was gut-wrenching, so Obi-Wan drank him in, like a thirsty man who knew there would be a drought for the rest of his life.

Anakin's golden brows were furrowed in concentration, his bottom lip caught between his teeth as his blue eyes glared at the readings, as if they personally offended him.

Dragging his gaze away from Anakin's mouth, Obi-Wan took a deap breath, disturbed by himself. _When_ had he started seeing Anakin that way?

Anakin turned his head and blinked. "Master?"

Obi-Wan wasn't prepared for the way his insides tightened with what could only be described as _want_ when Anakin smiled at him.

Force, he needed to go. He needed to go and never come back.

Anakin must have seen something on his face because his smile dimmed. "Obi-Wan?" he said, this time sounding more wary than excited.

"I came to say goodbye," Obi-Wan said and didn't recognize his own voice. "I'm not coming back, Anakin."

Anakin's face went blank.

"What?" he whispered at last, his voice cracking. "What do you mean you're not coming back? Why?"

During his trip here, Obi-Wan had come up with two explanations that sounded believable enough. But now, looking at Anakin, he couldn't tell either of them. He couldn't lie to Anakin.

Clenching his jaw, he averted his gaze. "Because I have wronged you. I have failed you, Anakin." It was almost ironic. It seemed he was destined to fail Anakin in every life. Obi-Wan might have prevented the birth of Darth Vader in this life, but it seemed he'd found another way to mess it all up--mess Anakin up. Obi-Wan had no delusions that this wouldn't hurt Anakin.

"What are you talking about?" Anakin said, getting to his feet.

"I am..." Obi-Wan swallowed. "I recently realized that our relationship isn't very healthy. It's--it's inappropriate."

Anakin stared at him.

And then he _blushed_. "Look, Master," he said, his voice stilted and defensive. "I get that last time was...I get that you were offended, but surely it's a little extreme to--to leave me just because I got an erection when we hugged?"

Now it was Obi-Wan's turn to flush. He felt entirely too hot, and not just because the subject was awkward.

"It's not that, Anakin," he said, clearing his throat. "I'm aware that at your age you can't control reactions of your body. I wasn't--I wasn't offended."

Anakin frowned. "Then what did you mean? Why did you say that our relationship was inappropriate?" Suddenly, his eyes widened. He took a step closer to Obi-Wan. "Did you mean you...?"

Obi-Wan said nothing. Speaking aloud of his perversion seemed unthinkable. But he detested lying to Anakin after the whole Rako Hardeen debacle.

Slowly, a smile spread on Anakin's face. It was so full of wonder and delight it was like looking at the sun: it hurt to look at, overwhelming Obi-Wan's senses.

Force, he couldn't imagine never seeing that smile again.

But he wouldn't.

He couldn't.

"You want me," Anakin whispered with something like wonder.

"I have to go," Obi-Wan said, forcing the words out and watching Anakin's smile die. "I'm sorry, Anakin."

"You have nothing to feel sorry for, because you aren't leaving," Anakin declared, striding over until he was all but crowding Obi-Wan against the doorway. He smelled of sun, oil, and something unique that Obi-Wan could only describe as _Anakin_. Obi-Wan inhaled deeply, despising himself for his inability not to, but Force, he had missed his boy dearly.

"Anakin--" he tried.

"No, Master." Anakin put a hand on Obi-Wan's nape and pulled him close until their foreheads touched. "Just answer me: do you want me?"

Obi-Wan swallowed, his body stiffening in more ways than one. "You're barely seventeen."

Anakin scoffed, rubbing their noses together. "That isn't an answer."

"It is," Obi-Wan said tightly. "You're seventeen, Anakin. I'm a grown man almost twice your age--and more than that if we count my other life too."

"Age is just a number," Anakin said, nuzzling Obi-Wan's beard, his parted mouth dragging along Obi-Wan's jawline.

Obi-Wan shivered, his hands twitching, wanting to touch, to pull closer, to _have_.

"Age isn't just a number," he tried again. "Our experiences shape us, make us grow. Not to mention that your mother entrusted you into my care, and she would be horrified if she found out that--"

"That you what?" Anakin said, dragging his parted lips across Obi-Wan's cheek. "That you care for me more than anything? That you love me more than anything?"

Obi-Wan tensed up, heat creeping up the back of his neck. Despite everything, it was still difficult for him to speak about his attachments. A lifetime of following the Jedi Code to the best of his ability was difficult to shake off, even though he no longer believed that the Jedi were right about attachments.

"You know that it isn't the issue," Obi-Wan said, clenching his hands into fists to stop them from touching Anakin and pulling him closer. "The power imbalance alone makes this very wrong, even if we disregard your age."

Anakin snorted. "What power imbalance, Obi-Wan?" he said, kissing Obi-Wan's ear and then giving it a kittenish lick, which made Obi-Wan's cock throb and his breath catch. Anakin bit his earlobe lightly. "I hold all the power over you. You give me everything I barely mention wanting. You spoil me rotten, Master. Kark, you even dropped your mission when I told you I had a fever!"

"It could have been dangerous," Obi-Wan said, wincing. That hadn't been his best Jedi moment, admittedly.

"My midi-chlorians would never let me die from something as stupid as fever," Anakin said with a chuckle and another kittenish lick to Obi-Wan's ear. "But it was adorable of you to come anyway. I was so happy to see you and have you take care of me."

Obi-Wan almost groaned in frustration. Anakin's words weren't helping at all.

"My point is," Anakin said breathlessly, nuzzling his ear. "If there's power imbalance in our relationship, I'm the one who has more power. It's obvious even to people who don't know you."

"What do you mean?"

Anakin chuckled. "Xena thinks you're _whipped_ , Master."

Obi-Wan blinked. It took him a moment to recall the girl who worked at Anakin's workshop sometimes.

"She actually thinks you're my sugar daddy," Anakin said with a smile in his voice. "I didn't deny it, because I wasn't sure how to explain what you're to me."

Obi-Wan... wasn't sure how he was supposed to react to such an outlandish statement. This entire conversation felt surreal.

"It doesn't matter what someone else thinks," he said at last. "The fact remains that I'm a grown man and you're my underage charge. It's--sickening, Anakin."

"That's bantha fodder," Anakin said fiercely. "Age is just a number in _this_ case. I've been working and taking care of myself since I was a child. I've been living as an adult for almost two years now. For all intents and purposes, I'm emancipated. Not to mention that I'm of the age of consent. And it's not like you're old or something. Age doesn't matter all that much for Force-sensitives. We age slowly. I saw a holo of your Master and he's still very fit, even though he's what, around sixty? So our age difference doesn't kriffing matter."

Obi-Wan almost smiled fondly. At seventeen, his padawan would have been aggressively pouting or yelling that it was _unfair_ if he was denied something he wanted, not arguing his case rationally. Anakin really was more mature in this life, but... it still didn't make this right.

"I can't," he said, cradling Anakin's face and kissing him on the forehead gently. "You're the most precious, dearest thing in the world for me. I can't risk hurting you, Anakin. You'll meet someone else, someone closer to your age. You deserve better than a messed up, cynical man twice your age."

Anakin glared at him, his temper finally flaring. "I think I'll be the judge of that, not you. I don't karking want anyone else." He met Obi-Wan's gaze and said, "I'm not a child anymore, Obi-Wan. I know what I want. I want you. I want to suck your cock, and I want you to fuck me, Master."

Obi-Wan's stomach clenched, his cock heavy and full. There was something incredibly wrong and arousing in being addressed as Master considering what Anakin was saying.

"Don't," he said hoarsely. "Please don't say such things, Anakin." _I'm only a man, and not a good one, it seems._

"But it's true," Anakin said, pressing their bodies flush together. The hardness against Obi-Wan's lower stomach was unmistakable. Anakin's cheeks were flushed, his blue eyes a little glazed. "Please, Master. You're all I want. I need you. Don't leave me."

Obi-Wan shuddered. Force, this was so wrong, but he couldn't say no to those eyes, never could. "Very well," he said with a sigh. "I won't leave, but this is the last time we speak of this--"

"No way," Anakin said, glaring at him.

Obi-Wan closed his eyes for a moment. "Until after you're eighteen at least," he finished. "If you still--if you still want this when you're eighteen, we'll discuss it again."

"Discuss it?" Anakin muttered under his breath with a sullen look.

"Discuss it," Obi-Wan said firmly. "You will be still too young for me even at eighteen." When Anakin opened his mouth to argue, Obi-Wan gave him a flat look. "Anakin. Until then, we won't speak of this anymore. I'll continue teaching you and we'll remain friends, but that's it."

Anakin scowled. "But there's still twelve standard months until I'm eighteen."

"I'm glad you can do the math," Obi-Wan said wryly.

He earned himself another glare. "Fine," Anakin said unhappily. "But I have one condition."

Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow. "Did I say it was negotiable?"

Anakin mimicked his eyebrow arch perfectly. "Well, weren't you just concerned about the power imbalance in our relationship? It's only fair that I get to have conditions, too, right?"

Feeling a rush of amused fondness, Obi-Wan nodded. "I suppose it's fair."

Anakin smiled a little. "I want a kiss."

Obi-Wan went still. "No."

Anakin's smile widened. "But it's my only condition and it's not negotiable, Master."

Obi-Wan gave him an unimpressed look. "We just agreed that we wouldn't discuss this until you are eighteen."

"But my condition doesn't contradict it, Obi-Wan," Anakin said with a look on his face that managed to be both smug and endearing. "We don't have to _talk_. Just give me a little kiss to tide me over."

Obi-Wan pinched the bridge of his nose. "And if I don't?"

Anakin grinned. "If you don't, I'll follow you back to Coruscant and climb into your bed--naked."

Obi-Wan froze. The mere thought of Anakin following him to Coruscant brought a surge of irrational fear and the urge to grab Anakin and take him to the far end of the galaxy. He didn't want Anakin anywhere near Palpatine.

"Very well," Obi-Wan said with a sigh. Leaning in, he kissed Anakin on the cheek and quickly pulled back.

Anakin glowered at him. "That wasn't a kiss."

Smiling innocently, Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow again. "Wasn't it? You should have been more careful with your phrasing, then--"

Anakin lunged forward and slammed their lips together, immediately slipping his tongue into Obi-Wan's surprised mouth.

Obi-Wan should have shoved him away.

He wanted to.

Except his arms found their way around Anakin's body to pull him closer, tighter, and his mouth was moving, responding to the kiss before he could stop himself. He couldn't stop himself. He felt like he was drowning in Anakin, in his sweet, hungry mouth, in his pleasure and need flooding into him through their bond like a forbidden drug. Obi-Wan felt intoxicated, kissing the boy harder and deeper, wanting to swallow him whole, wanting to crawl inside him and never get out. The _sounds_ Anakin was making were obscene: he was moaning and whimpering shamelessly as he sucked on Obi-Wan's tongue. Those sounds were going straight to Obi-Wan's cock, making him want to push Anakin to the floor, crawl on top of him and--

 _No_.

Obi-Wan wrenched himself away and staggered back, his horror and shame making him nauseous despite his desire.

"No, Anakin," he snapped, still breathing hard. Running a trembling hand over his face, Obi-Wan turned away, refusing to look at Anakin and trying to forget how positively sinful the boy looked, his lips red and swollen, his face flushed and eyes glazed over with lust.

Force, give him strength.

"Don't do it again," Obi-Wan said in the calmest voice he could manage.

"All right," Anakin said, not even bothering to hide his breathlessness.

Relieved, Obi-Wan started walking away when Anakin added, "But when I'm eighteen, you're going to fuck me for _days_ to make up for the terrible case of blue balls I have right now."

Torn between laughing and reprimanding Anakin, Obi-Wan did neither and headed for his ship.

It had been a mistake. A moment of weakness. It would _never_ happen again. At Anakin's age, people found a new object of infatuation every month. Obi-Wan was sure that by the time Anakin turned eighteen, he would have already moved on and wouldn't even remember that he used to have a crush on Obi-Wan--which obviously would be for the best.

It would be.

He and Anakin were supposed to be brothers and best friends, not--not _this_. The second chance the Force had given him was never supposed to be used in such a way. Obi-Wan didn't understand how his changing a few events could have changed his and Anakin's relationship so drastically, twisting it into something it had never been in their previous life.

It was all wrong. Anakin had been supposed to have a crush on Senator Amidala or some other girl his age, not him. Obi-Wan was supposed to be a father or brother figure for him instead of _having his tongue down Anakin's throat._

When had it all gone wrong?


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin is being a little shit and Obi-Wan's self-control is tested. Shmi is back in Anakin's life and she isn't amused.

* * *

* * *

Obi-Wan let Artoo handle the landing and stood by the hatch, carefully building his shields and putting on his most neutral expression.

It wasn't for Anakin's sake. Over the past eight months, the few mental boundaries he and Anakin had had seemed to have disappeared. Now the boy didn't even bother shielding, sending lewd thoughts whenever Obi-Wan visited and sometimes even when Obi-Wan was on Coruscant. Obi-Wan would be proud of Anakin's progress at deep meditation if it didn't make things very...hard for him, pun intended.

Obi-Wan was absolutely at his wits' end. The boy was impossible. Anakin _technically_ kept his end of the deal by not speaking about the matter, as agreed, but he _thought_ about it a lot, and sent Obi-Wan obscene images through their bond whenever their meditations happened to coincide. By this point, Obi-Wan was afraid of meditating, afraid that he would end up in one of Anakin's shameless fantasies once again.

On one memorable occasion, Obi-Wan had been meditating in the Room of a Thousand Fountains when he found himself in a very vivid fantasy in which Anakin was licking his cock as if it was some kind of oversized lollipop. Predictably, he'd gotten hard as a rock, which was beyond awkward considering that Master Yoda was meditating next to him. Obi-Wan still couldn't look his grand-grand master in the eye.

After that time, Obi-Wan had tried talking to Anakin, tried to make him stop _torturing_ him, but that impossible boy just gave him an innocent look and reminded him that they had agreed not to "discuss" the matter until after Anakin was eighteen--unless Obi-Wan changed his mind?

That answer had honestly made Obi-Wan want to put the boy over his lap and give him a good spanking. But of course he didn't. He didn't trust himself when he was in a perpetual state of semi-arousal, with about as much control over his hormones as a teenage boy.

It seemed Anakin Skywalker would be the death of him in every life.

Obi-Wan flinched as the hatch opened. He had been so distracted that he hadn't even noticed them landing--or perhaps this frustrating lack of proper meditation was catching up to him.

Checking his shields one more time, Obi-Wan got out of the ship. He took in a breath of fresh air, his shoulders relaxing slightly. He loved breathing Edaan's air. It smelled differently from Coruscant, not as artificially clean, but pleasant in a way Obi-Wan couldn't explain.

 _You just associate it with Anakin_ , came an unbidden thought. Obi-Wan quickly pushed it away.

Focus. He couldn't allow himself less than pure thoughts when he was on Edaan. Shmi would be watching him like a hawk. Or rather, like a protective lioness with a newborn cub.

Obi-Wan grimaced at the thought.

When half a year ago Shmi and her husband finally moved to Edaan, Obi-Wan had been pleased, glad that Anakin wouldn't be alone when he was away and that Anakin could finally stop worrying that something would happen to his mother on Tatooine.

But Obi-Wan's relief was short-lived when he realized how it would affect him and Anakin. Although initially Shmi and Cliegg hadn't lived with Anakin, apparently Shmi heard somewhere in the town that her son had a sugar daddy, and she wasn't amused, to say the least. She also wasn't amused that Anakin was calling Obi-Wan "Master." Even though Obi-Wan explained to her that it was all a misunderstanding, Shmi didn't seem to completely buy his explanation. Perhaps she saw something on Obi-Wan's face when he looked at Anakin--Obi-Wan had been told mothers could sense such things. In any case, she insisted that Anakin stop calling Obi-Wan "Master," and she and Cliegg moved into Anakin's house.

That meant that Obi-Wan could no longer stay the night. He and Anakin could no longer share a bed--which should have been a relief, but wasn't. Obi-Wan hadn't realized how much he would miss falling asleep with Anakin's face nestled in the crook of his neck, with Anakin's heart beating steadily against his side.

Obi-Wan told himself that it was a good thing that Shmi was now a buffer between him and Anakin, preventing them from doing something _unthinkable_. He told himself that Anakin needed his mother. He told himself a great many things.

But it didn't change anything.

The truth was, Shmi's unexpected re-entrance into their life felt... jarring. Unwanted. Obi-Wan hadn't realized how much he would miss having Anakin all to himself. Did that make him selfish? Yes. In his previous life, he would have never allowed himself to feel that way. But Obi-Wan wasn't the man he once was. He wasn't as selfless. Did that make him a bad man? He didn't know. He'd like to think that it didn't, but Obi-Wan was self-aware enough to know that he wasn't at his most unbiased and rational where Anakin was concerned.

He'd come to think of Anakin's house on Edaan as home, as something _theirs_ , and being practically banished from it unsettled him greatly. He'd barely seen Anakin in the past half a year, his few visits brief and awkward, with Shmi watching them carefully.

"Obi-Wan!"

Snapped out of his thoughts once again, Obi-Wan turned his head and his heart skipped a beat when he saw Anakin running toward him with a huge grin on his face. Anakin had stopped running toward him when he was sixteen, so this slip into immaturity was rather unexpected.

But not unwelcome.

He was ready when Anakin crashed into him, slinging his arms around Obi-Wan and _clinging_ , like an oversized Toydarian octopus. Obi-Wan wasn't much better; he clung back.

Force, he missed him dearly.

"Master," Anakin breathed into his ear, the forbidden word sending a thrill through Obi-Wan's body. "I missed you so much. So kriffing much."

Obi-Wan's arms tightened around him. It was probably uncomfortable for Anakin, but the boy wasn't complaining, nuzzling against Obi-Wan's throat and all but purring. Their bond was going _wild_ with their mutual delight and pleasure, making it difficult to think about anything but the young man in his arms.

But he must.

Because Shmi was emerging out of the house, a frown of disapproval on her face.

"Anakin, your mother is coming here," Obi-Wan said reluctantly. "Let go."

"No," Anakin said stubbornly. "I don't know what the kark her problem with you is, but I'm sick of it. I'm almost eighteen anyway."

"But you're not yet," Obi-Wan reminded him, running his fingers through Anakin's curls. "If she suspects me in anything...immoral, she can have me arrested."

Anakin scoffed. "I _wish_ you were immoral with me." He sighed, sucking lightly on Obi-Wan's neck. "Force, I missed you, Master. I miss you already even though you're still right here."

Shmi was red in the face now, her anger obvious as she quickened her strides.

Obi-Wan grimaced. "Anakin--stop giving me a hickey in front of your mother!"

"Don't care," Anakin said, sucking harder on the sensitive skin of Obi-Wan's neck. "Tell her to go away."

"I doubt she would listen to me," Obi-Wan said dryly.

"Anakin Skywalker!" Shmi said, glaring at her son and then at Obi-Wan. "What do you think you are--"

"You didn't see anything suspicious," Anakin said, turning his head to her. "You have better things to do. You should go to the house and stay there until Cliegg comes from work."

Obi-Wan watched in disbelief as Shmi repeated the words absently and headed for the house.

"Anakin!" he scolded.

Anakin gave him a stubborn look. "I don't regret it. I was going kriffing insane without you. I was _this_ close to going to Coruscant and sneaking into the Temple just to see you. My mom is wrong anyway! I'm sick and tired of being treated like a stupid child who doesn't know what's good for him." His eyes flashed with determination. "I won't let anyone come between us, not even my mother."

Obi-Wan shook his head, his stomach clenching in discomfort. At times like this, he was reminded that this young man had been a ruthless Sith Lord in another life. While Anakin wasn't as angry and resentful as his padawan had been at that age, he was no longer an innocent boy. His single-minded determination and tunnel vision if he wanted something was a common trait he shared with Obi-Wan's padawan.

It made Obi-Wan anxious. He didn't want to become an object of obsession for Anakin like Senator Amidala had been in their previous life. He would rather die than become the reason for Anakin's fall into darkness.

"You shouldn't have done it," Obi-Wan said.

"I just told her to go inside," Anakin said, his jaw clenching.

"It always starts with something small, Anakin," Obi-Wan said with a sigh, running his fingers through the golden hair. "But then you'll start craving the sense of power it gives you, and it all goes downhill from there. Promise me you won't use the Force so selfishly again."

Anakin gave him a serious look far beyond his years. "I'm not going to become Darth Vader just because I mind-tricked Mom into leaving us alone, Obi-Wan."

Obi-Wan shook his head. "I'm not afraid that you'll become Darth Vader." _Not anymore_. "But dark side is extremely tempting, Anakin. Being a Sith is just an extreme. Many a good Jedi lost themselves to darkness without becoming Sith."

"Well, I won't," Anakin said with a shrug. "Dark side can't give me what I want. I'd never be tempted by it because I know I'd lose you if I slipped."

Obi-Wan gave him a pinched look, but he was touched by the sentiment nonetheless. "What am I going to do with you," he said with a sigh, pulling him close again. Anakin went eagerly, tucking his head into the crook of Obi-Wan's neck and making a contented noise. Force, he felt _perfect_ in his arms. So perfect that it made Obi-Wan anxious. He couldn't lose him. He didn't know what he would do if he ever lost him.

"I'm scared, dear one," Obi-Wan admitted into Anakin's hair.

"Of what?" Anakin said, nuzzling into his neck.

"Scared that I'm messing you up, that I made a wrong choice." Obi-Wan closed his eyes, his fingers still stroking Anakin's hair. "Sometimes I wonder if should have let Qui-Gon find you and become your Master. He would have made a much better Master than I ever was to you. You could have become a great Jedi. Perhaps I was selfish in my decision to hide you away."

"You wanted to protect me. You wanted to stop me from becoming Darth Vader."

"Yes," Obi-Wan said, opening his eyes and smiling ruefully. "But in hindsight, I also wanted to hide you from everyone: not only from Sidious, but from the Jedi too. I knew you wouldn't have become my padawan in this life unless I allowed Qui-Gon to die. I couldn't allow it, but neither could I bear hearing my padawan call another man _Master_." Obi-Wan's lips twisted into a self-deprecating smile. "I didn't trust myself with you, but I wasn't willing to let someone else train you, either. I couldn't trust anyone with you. It was selfish of me."

Anakin pulled back a little to look at him intently. "Don't be so hard on yourself, Obi-Wan. I'm pretty damn happy with my life." He pulled a face. "I wouldn't want to be a Jedi if I couldn't be your padawan. We'd see even less of each other that way."

Obi-Wan shook his head, brushing his fingers against Anakin's smooth cheek. "I still had no right to make such a decision. You are not mine."

"What if I want to be?" Anakin said, looking him in the eye.

The words went straight to Obi-Wan's cock. Before he could stop himself, his fingers stroked down Anakin's cheek to his full lips. They parted slightly, Anakin's eyelids becoming heavy as Obi-Wan's fingers grazed his bottom lip, his earlobe, his jawline, then his mouth again. Gasping, Anakin turned his face into the touch, his gaze becoming unfocused. 

Licking his lip, Anakin looked at Obi-Wan's mouth before meeting his eyes. The invitation, the hunger in those blue eyes was impossible to mistake for something else.

 _Kiss me_ , that gaze said.

Obi-Wan swallowed.

"Just a short one," Anakin whispered, looking at him beseechingly. "Please, Master. I need you."

Obi-Wan swore in Huttese before yanking Anakin close and giving him a short, greedy kiss that quickly turned into a long, deep one against his better judgement. Soon, they both were moaning, licking into each other's mouths, their arms tight around each other. Force, Obi-Wan had never felt this out of control. He wanted to devour the boy. He wanted to push Anakin to the ground and have him right there, under the Edaan sky. Anakin whimpered, probably sensing his thoughts through their bond, and sent him an image of his bare legs wrapped around Obi-Wan's waist as Obi-Wan thrust into him, their bodies moving together as they sated their need to be one--

Groaning in frustration, Obi-Wan tore himself away. "No," he said hoarsely, running an unsteady hand over his face.

What was he doing?

Turning away, he descended toward the riverbank. He stared at the water's surface, taking deep breaths. It failed to calm his racing heart.

He felt Anakin follow him. His arms wrapped around him from behind, his face burying in Obi-Wan's nape. "This is kriffing stupid," Anakin bit off, his erection pressed against Obi-Wan's lower back. "I want you, you want me; why can't we just fuck? I'm dying here, Master!"

An involuntary chuckle left Obi-Wan's lips. "You're hardly dying, Anakin. And we agreed to wait until you're eighteen."

Anakin whined. "I can't wait another four months until we fuck!"

"We said we'd _discuss_ it," Obi-Wan reminded him, not without humor. "No 'fucking' was ever promised, I believe."

Groaning, Anakin pulled back. "I kriffing hate you," he said sulkily, dropping himself to the ground. There was the sound of a zipper being undone.

Obi-Wan went utterly still, his face flushing. "What do you think you're doing?" he managed, refusing to turn around. "It's the middle of the day, your mother is in the house!" _And I'm right here._

"I'm out of fucks to give at this point," Anakin bit out and there was an unmistakable sound of flesh moving against flesh. "She can't see me from the house anyway. I'm so horny I feel like my dick is about to explode if I don't get off."

Obi-Wan ran a hand through his hair. "This is indecent, Anakin. Stop that immediately."

"No. Look at me, Obi-Wan."

He wouldn't.

He shouldn't. Kissing Anakin was one thing. Watching him touch himself was completely another.

"Master, please," Anakin said breathlessly.

Obi-Wan turned.

And he wished he didn't. All the blood in his body seemed to rush to his groin when he saw Anakin stretched out on the grass, still fully dressed but for his open fly. It looked beyond obscene. But Force, was he beautiful: his gaze glassy with desire, his mouth parted as he panted and gasped, his strong fingers stroking his hard, leaking cock.

Obi-Wan licked his dry lips.

Anakin groaned, meeting his gaze. "Master, I..." His hand was flying over his cock now, tugging harder and faster. "Touch me. Please, Master."

Force. Obi-Wan's own cock was throbbing. He _wanted_ so much, so many things at once. He wanted to spread Anakin's legs and swallow down his cock. He wanted to shove his tongue into that pretty, moaning mouth and rut against Anakin until they both came. He wanted to strip Anakin naked and lick him all over, lick his nipples, his stomach, between his cheeks. He wanted to grab his own cock and touch himself until his seed covered the boy from head to toe.

Anakin moaned, loud and shameless. _Yes, yes, yes_ , echoed through their bond. _Anything. Do it. Need you, Master._

Obi-Wan's hands clenched into fists.

"I'm not going to touch you, Anakin," he forced out, meeting Anakin's glazed eyes. "I can't, dear one."

Anakin gave a full-body shiver, a whimper leaving his lips. "Say it again," he managed, squeezing his cock. "Call me your dear. Say how much you love me. Please."

Obi-Wan stared at him in fascination, affection making his chest tight. Only Anakin would find terms of affection arousing. "I love you," he said, looking at that shameless, precious boy. _I love you so much that it scares me. I loved you differently when you were my padawan, and part of me still feels like loving you this way is wrong, but Force, I don't know how to stop._ "You're my everything, dear one."

Whining, Anakin arched and spilled into his hand, his pleasure spreading through their bond in a tidal wave.

Obi-Wan gritted his teeth, trying to release his arousal into the Force and absolutely failing.

"I need to go," he said hoarsely, looking down at the flushed, panting boy on the grass. Sith's hell, he looked beautiful. Beautiful and filthy. "I need to go right now."

Anakin gave him a soft, heavy-lidded look. "You don't have to," he said, still sounding breathless. The pink tip of his tongue wet his lips, Anakin's gaze dropping to the bulge that was obvious even through Obi-Wan's robes. "Let me take care of you, Master."

If temptation had a face, it would look like Anakin Skywalker.

Obi-Wan shook his head dazedly and quickly walked away, even though his every cell screamed in protest as if it had been set on fire.

Once he was finally inside his ship, Obi-Wan allowed himself to sag against the wall and groan in sheer frustration.

He would wonder what he'd done in his previous life to deserve this if he already didn't know the answer.

Sighing, Obi-Wan released his frustration into the Force and told Artoo to get them back to Coruscant. Since becoming a Council member a few months ago, he had even less free time than he used to.

But of course, when it rained, it poured, and halfway to Coruscant, his comlink chimed.

It was Shmi.

"Master Kenobi," she said, and even despite the low quality of the holo, Obi-Wan could see that she looked less than happy. "We need to talk."

Obi-Wan stomach dropped.

Taking a deep breath, he sat down and braced himself for the most difficult negotiation of his life.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shmi and Obi-Wan have an honest conversation.

* * *

* * *

Shmi Lars stared at Master Kenobi's holo projection in silence, studying the man for a moment.

At thirty-three, he looked different from the man who'd taken Anakin away two years ago and she didn't mean the immaculate beard that he now possessed. He was a very handsome man, but his eyes looked weary, as if he had the weight of the galaxy on his shoulders.

Shmi had always considered him a good man. If she didn't, she wouldn't have trusted him with the most precious thing she had: her son.

She now wondered if her trust had been misplaced.

"Master Kenobi," she said. "My seventeen-year-old son just told me that he's in love with you."

She saw his eyes widen slightly, but other than that, his neutral expression didn't change.

"I'm not sure what response you're expecting from me, Shmi. I can't control what Anakin feels or says."

She studied him. He didn't seem to be lying, but then again, he didn't seem like a seducer of underage boys, either, and yet her Anakin had somehow gotten it into his head that "they loved each other."

That was what Ani had said--yelled at her ten minutes ago--that they loved each other.

Ani was many things -- short-tempered, emotional, and dramatic-- but she didn't believe he was delusional. If he thought that Obi-Wan loved him, Obi-Wan must have done something to make him believe that.

"You told me it was all a misunderstanding," Shmi said. "You promised that all those... rumors about you and Ani are nothing but malicious gossip."

"I did," Obi-Wan said, his expression calm. "And my position hasn't changed. I swear I haven't touched Anakin in an inappropriate manner."

He was telling the truth, she was certain of it. But...

"Then why did my son use the Force to make me go away and leave you two alone if you have nothing to hide?" Even saying it hurt. She had never thought her Ani would ever use his gift against her. But use it he did.

It had taken Shmi a while to realize that--she simply didn't understand why she was so convinced that she _had_ to stay inside the house until Cliegg's return from work. When she realized that she must have been mind-tricked, at first she obviously thought that it must have been Obi-Wan's work, not her son's.

Furious, she stormed out of the house, only to find Obi-Wan's ship gone. When she confronted Ani, forbidding him from associating with a man who'd mind-tricked his mother, Anakin got red in the face and told her that he was the one who had done it, not Obi-Wan, and that she should mind her own business. He and Obi-Wan loved each other, why was she so determined to ruin it?

Ani had stormed off, leaving Shmi scared, and angry, and at a loss.

So here she was, confronting the man himself through Anakin's comlink.

Obi-Wan's expression was slightly pinched. "I already told Anakin that using the Force in such a way is unacceptable. He will not do it again. As for why he did it..." He sighed. "He simply wanted to be alone with me without your supervision. That's hardly a crime."

"It is, when a grown man has a suspicious relationship with a teenager."

Obi-Wan met her gaze steadily. "I understand that you must be worried and uncomfortable because of my relationship with Anakin. If I were in your place, I would be, too. In fact, when I was Anakin's Master, there were times I had to protect my padawan from lecherous older men and women. So I do understand your discomfort. Rest assured that I will never hurt Anakin."

He was being sincere, and yet...

"They're right to call you the Negotiator, Master Kenobi," she said. "I can't help but notice that you're still evading a direct answer." She looked him in the eye. "Do you want my son, Obi-Wan?"

He stared at her.

For a moment, she thought he would lie.

But he surprised her. "Yes," he said, holding her gaze.

The spark of hope that she'd still had inside her heart shriveled up and died. She had _trusted_ him.

She crossed her arms over her chest. "Tell me why I should let my son continue associating with you."

Obi-Wan's lips thinned. "Because this is Anakin we're talking about. You know how headstrong and stubborn he is. If you forbid him from seeing me, he will do something reckless like running away to Coruscant, where there are dangers you can't imagine."

He was right. Of course he was right. He knew her Ani as well as she did--because in another life, he had _raised_ him. That was why the whole thing sickened Shmi so much--not their age difference, not the fact that Anakin was still underage, but the fact that this man had been a father figure to Anakin in his previous life.

It had taken Shmi years to completely believe that notion--that Obi-Wan had been Anakin's Jedi Master in another life--but by now she knew it was true.

That was why the fact that Obi-Wan wanted Anakin that say seemed so wrong. Almost _incestuous_. How did one go from having fatherly feelings to loving as a man the boy he had once raised? It seemed...unthinkable. Beyond wrong.

"I know that," Shmi said. "But you must realize that I can't allow this... relationship. You know it's wrong, Obi-Wan. How can you--how can you desire a boy you once raised as a son?"

She saw his jaw tighten. Something flickered across his face. Doubt? Guilt? Shame?

He heaved a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I didn't exactly see Anakin as my son in our previous life. He was my padawan, one I was immensely proud of. It's true that I raised him from the age he was nine to the age of nineteen, but our relationship wasn't really that of a father and a son. We were closer to brothers."

Shmi scoffed. "And that makes it less wrong? You were still his family--his guardian, his mentor, the closest thing he had to a father figure in his life!"

"True," Obi-Wan conceded, inclining his head slightly. "But that was another life. This Anakin isn't the boy who was once my padawan, and I'm not the man who was Anakin's Master in another life." He met her eyes. "We fit together a little differently, I love him a little differently, but he's still the other half of my soul. That hasn't changed, just the nature of my attachment to him did."

She stared at him. Part of her was surprised by his candidness. She'd never heard of a Jedi who admitted having an emotional attachment. The Jedi were thought to be impartial judges, serene peacemakers, brave and kind but detached from things like deep love and passion. Was that a lie?

"I'll never willingly hurt him, Shmi," Obi-Wan said.

His phrasing made her wonder.

"Willingly?" she said.

He looked down for a moment before meeting her gaze again. "In my previous life, unwittingly, I failed my padawan. My unwillingness to admit my attachment...it alienated him. It made him believe that feeling emotion was wrong, that loving a person makes one a bad Jedi--that I didn't feel anything for him but a shallow affection of a master for a padawan. So he went to others for love and understanding. And those people led him down the dark path, until the bright, kind boy that I trained was gone." His eyes hardened. "I won't repeat that mistake, Shmi. And I'm asking you not to make it, too. Don't do anything that would make him resent you, that would make Anakin feel like his emotions are wrong. It may not end well."

Shmi pursed her lips. It wasn't that she didn't believe him, but she didn't like feeling like she was a bad parent, like Obi-Wan knew her Ani better than she did. She was Ani's mother! "Do you seriously expect me to step aside and do nothing as my teenage son enters an illegal relationship with a man twice his age?"

Obi-Wan's jaw clenched. "I expect nothing, Shmi. I just advise you--I'm asking you--not to act rashly and believe me when I say that Anakin is the most important person in my life and I will never do him any harm."

She gave a tight nod. "I will think about it."

She disconnected, feeling more torn than she was before the call.

***

Three months passed.

Shmi still hadn't come to any decision, but her relationship with her son had already deteriorated. These days, Anakin eyed her warily as if she was an unpredictable _enemy_ instead of his mother. It didn't help that the more time passed since Obi-Wan's last visit, the moodier and gloomier Ani became. He spent more and more time in his workshop, returning only for sleep if he returned at all.

Shmi was somewhat familiar with it: Anakin had always taken the long lulls between Master Kenobi's visits to Tatooine rather badly as a boy, whining to her all the time that he wished he were out there in space with Obi-Wan. But this... this was something else.

Ani was _pining_.

Shmi had found a picture of Obi-Wan hidden under Anakin's pillow, and she was pretty sure that the beige tunic he slept in was Obi-Wan's, not his. It would be adorable if it didn't make her deeply uncomfortable.

If Ani was home at all, he spent an inordinate amount of time meditating, which seemed to either frustrate him immensely or put him in an incredibly good mood for seemingly no reason. He also spent a lot of time taking his frustrations out in the woods near the house: Shmi could see the blue flash of his lightsaber from afar.

It worried her. She watched Anakin's frustration mount as time passed, his frustration and his resentment. She couldn't help but wonder if he resented her for moving in with him: she got the impression that Obi-Wan had visited far more often before she and Cliegg started living with Ani.

Shmi tried to talk to her son, tell him that he should find someone his own age to love, but her every attempt ended in a shouting match and Anakin storming off into the woods or jumping into his speeder and taking off.

The tension in the house had become so unbearable that _Cliegg_ was forced to become a mediator between Shmi and her son. It would be amusing if it weren't so sad. Her son was growing up and growing apart from her.

Then, one night, she overheard Anakin's holo conversation with Obi-Wan.

"...I'm sick and tired of this, Obi-Wan," Anakin said, his voice thick with frustration. "I feel like I'm suffocating in this house since they moved in."

Shmi closed her eyes, her chest tight.

She couldn't fully hear what Obi-Wan said, his voice too quiet, but it sounded soothing, placating.

Anakin sighed. "I know. I know she loves me, but... It's kriffing hard to remember that when she keeps talking about you like you're some kind of old, lecherous pervert. She doesn't believe that I'm the one who does all the pursuing and you're being stupidly noble."

This time Obi-Wan's voice sounded loud enough for her to hear him. "Anakin, she is a mother. You're the most important thing in the world for her. Try to understand why she is disturbed. Our age difference alone is--"

"Bantha fodder!" Anakin grumbled. "Cliegg is ten years older than Mom, but sixteen years between us is gross? It's double standards!"

"Your mother isn't seventeen," Obi-Wan said wryly. "If you were thirty, our age difference would have been much more acceptable than it is now."

"It's still stupid," Anakin said sulkily. "I'm almost eighteen anyway."

"You're just proving her correct by such a sulky, immature behavior, Anakin," Obi-Wan said, sounding amused. "Perhaps if you stopped pouting, she would be more convinced of your maturity."

"Whatever," Anakin said, sounding like he was pouting.

Obi-Wan chuckled.

There was a silence for a short while before Anakin said quietly, "I miss you, Master."

Shmi cringed. Even after years of being a free woman, she couldn't help but flinch at the word. She couldn't understand how Anakin could say it willingly and call _Master_ the man he supposedly loved.

"And I, you, dear one," Obi-Wan said.

Shmi bit her lip, hard. The genuine warmth and love in Obi-Wan's voice was impossible to miss. That man loved Anakin, no matter how wrong and off-putting that love seemed to her. He loved her Ani, there was no question about it.

If it was true that Anakin did all the inappropriate pursuing and Obi-Wan continued to resist his advances, could she really fault Obi-Wan for loving her son? Love wasn't a sin.

"When are you coming home?" Anakin said.

A sigh. "I don't know, Anakin. I'm wrapping up this mission, but the Council has another one already lined up. It's an urgent one, a distress signal from a colony. I'm the closest Jedi to them, so I have to go there until the Republic sends help--which, knowing the Senate, won't be anytime soon."

"So you won't be back for weeks, maybe months," Anakin stated, sounding positively crushed.

Shmi's heart ached for him. No matter how much she disapproved of this...relationship, she couldn't bear seeing her son hurt.

"Anakin," Obi-Wan said, his voice tight. "Please don't. You know it's difficult for me, too."

"Is it?"

Obi-Wan laughed, the sound unexpectedly sharp. "I have lost count of how many times I wanted to stow you away on my ship and take you with me on my missions."

"I wish you did," Anakin said. "This is so...wrong, Master--us being so apart. It feels wrong, like...like the Force thinks it's wrong. Can't you feel it?"

Obi-Wan didn't reply immediately.  
"Yes," he said at last before heaving another sigh. "I'll try to be back as soon as possible. I have to go now. I shouldn't have commed you at all--I'm not sure how secure this comlink is."

Shmi wondered why he'd even commed Anakin if he wasn't sure that the comlink was secure--before realizing the answer.

It seemed Anakin wasn't the only one pining. For all his Jedi wisdom, experience, and self-control, Master Kenobi was just a man.

A man who loved.

***

Next morning, Shmi told Anakin that he might continue seeing Obi-Wan and that she wouldn't do anything to stop it.

His wide, sunny smile and the tight hug that he gave her warmed her from the inside out.

She could only hope she wasn't making a mistake.

***

Ten days later, Shmi and Anakin were having a breakfast in companionable silence when Anakin suddenly went deathly pale. His fork clattered to the table.

"Ani?" she said, frowning. "What's wrong?"

Her son didn't reply, his eyes wide and unseeing. Shmi stood and took a step toward him. "Sweetheart? What is it?"

"Obi-Wan," he croaked out. "I can't feel him."

Her frown deepening, she said, "What do you mean?"

Anakin shot to his feet. His frozen shock seemed to have been replaced by growing fear. "I can't feel him anymore--our bond! He's just--he's gone. There's nothing."

Oh.

Shmi had known that Ani and Obi-Wan shared some kind of telepathic link, but she hadn't realized that Anakin could actually somewhat sense Obi-Wan when they were so far apart.

"Maybe he just went out of the range of your... bond?" she suggested tentatively, hoping to calm Ani down.

But he continued pacing, his agitation and fear quickly shifting into a panic. "No, his Force presence disappeared too suddenly for that--it had never happened before! What if--what if--"

"Anakin Skywalker, you will stop panicking, sit down, and think rationally. Panicking won't help anything."

"Right. You're right, Mom." Anakin sat down, closed his eyes, and breathed deeply. In and out. In and out. In and out.

Finally, he seemed to calm down. He was still agitated, but the worst of his panic seemed to have passed.

"Someone must have put him into a Force-blocking room," he said at last. "That's the only possible explanation."

Shmi didn't have the heart to tell him that there was another explanation, far more likely.

Anakin bit the inside of his cheek. "If he's blocked from the Force, it means he's been captured by people who know how the Force works, likely by the Darksiders, maybe even the Sith. He'll need help."

Shmi got a bad feeling about this. "Ani, don't even think--"

"I'll have to save him," Anakin stated, his jaw clenching as he stood again and called his lightsaber into his hand. "Obi-Wan needs me."

Shmi tried to reason with him desperately, "You don't even know where his mission was!"

Anakin strode out of the house. "I know who does." 

Shmi's stomach sank. Surely Ani didn't intend to go to the Jedi Council?

"Ani, stop!" she cried out, running after him. "Don't do anything that will jeopardize Obi-Wan's plans! He wouldn't want you to attract attention to you!"

As if he couldn't hear her, Anakin continued striding toward the small ship he'd recently built.

"Anakin Skywalker!"

Anakin whirled around, glowering at her. "There's nothing you can do to stop me, Mom." His face was pale, his blue eyes flashing with determination. He swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing. "If something happens to him--if he's being tortured or..." He bit his lip hard. Exhaled. "I need to go. I'll go kriffing insane if I have to stay here and wait while Obi-Wan might be..." He met her gaze, something pleading and desperate in his eyes. "I love him. Please, Mom. Don't make it harder."

She sighed. Stepping closer, she hugged him tightly. "Just be careful, Ani. Don't do anything you might come to regret."

He gave a jerky nod and hugged her back briefly before striding toward his ship.

She watched it take off, and prayed.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin goes to the Jedi Temple.

* * *

* * *

Anakin stared at the magnificent, ancient building in front of him.

Even despite his anxiety, he still felt a slight awe at the sight. He may no longer dream of being a Jedi and may no longer think that the Order was the epitome of goodness, but it was impossible to completely forget one's childhood dreams. It was hard to believe that in another life, he lived, trained, and slept in that Temple.

Shaking off his awe, Anakin went to the nearest Temple Guard and said, "Good morning. I was wondering if I could speak to Master Qui-Gon Jinn?" He was proud of how calm and sane his voice sounded. He felt anything but calm and sane, his fear for Obi-Wan making it difficult to focus and think rationally.

But he _must_ be rational. He couldn't let his Master down. Obi-Wan had spent years working on his plan to bring Sidious down and prevent the war between the Separatists and the Republic; Anakin couldn't let all his efforts go to waste, no matter how badly he wanted to march into the Temple and demand where Obi-Wan was. It was a good thing he had spent the short trip to Coruscant in meditation, trying to calm down, to some success.

The guard looked at him for a moment, his mask concealing his expression. "Master Jinn is off-world," he said at last. He peered at Anakin strangely, his head cocked.

Anakin fidgeted, glancing around anxiously. He wondered if the guard could sense that he was Force-sensitive. It was likely. Obi-Wan had told him that the Temple Guards were fully trained in the Force, trained almost as well as field Jedi Knights were. Could the guard sense how unusually strong in the Force Anakin was? Obi-Wan had told him that generally only Masters highly attuned to the Force could sense such things, but what if--

"Is there a problem?" came a voice from behind.

"No, Master Windu," the guard said. "This boy is looking for Master Jinn."

Anakin perked up, recognizing the name Obi-Wan had mentioned numerous times in the past. Mace Windu was a high-ranking Council member. He must know where Obi-Wan's mission was for sure.

Anakin turned around and found himself looking at a dark-skinned human Jedi, who was scrutinizing him with narrowed eyes.

Windu liked respectful padawans, Anakin recalled suddenly. He vaguely remembered Obi-Wan mentioning that Windu had disliked the other Anakin, because he considered him too disrespectful, arrogant, and easily angered.

Well, for _Obi-Wan_ Anakin was willing to be the calmest and most respectful person Mace Windu had met in his life.

Anakin gave him a half-bow. "Master."

Windu frowned. "You're not a padawan. But you're... Force-sensitive."

"Yes, Master," Anakin said respectfully. "Could I have a moment of your time? It concerns the safety of a Jedi."

Radiating puzzlement in the Force, Windu nodded, motioning him to follow him inside the Temple.

Anakin did, walking half a step behind the Jedi, his head respectfully bowed. It was the hardest thing he'd done in his life: being quiet, calm, and respectful when he wanted to pace, yell, and _do_ something.

But Obi-Wan's life depended on him pulling this off. If Anakin started yelling and demanding things, not only no one in the Order would take him seriously, but he would also ruin his Master's standing in the Order and his plans.

He must pull this off.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, they entered a small room that lacked furniture but for the two meditation mats.

"Well?" Windu said, taking a seat and gesturing for Anakin to do the same on the other mat. "I'm listening, young man."

"My name is Anakin Skywalker," Anakin said, sitting down opposite Windu. He clenched his hands in his tunic, suddenly realizing that it was Obi-Wan's. Obi-Wan's Jedi tunic.

Anakin flushed. He didn't even remember putting it on in the morning. Had he slept in it?

He cleared his throat. "You're right that I'm Force-sensitive. Years ago, I met Master Kenobi on Tatooine. He noticed that I was Force-sensitive, but he knew that I was too old to be trained as a Jedi, so he didn't take me to the Temple. But he was kind and told me I could contact him if I had trouble controlling my powers."

Windu was frowning, but he didn't look too disapproving.

"I did have trouble controlling them." Anakin forced a rueful smile. "You can probably sense that I'm unusually strong in the Force, right?"

Windu nodded.

"So I ended up contacting Master Kenobi numerous times over the years. He's been an immense help to me. He spent what little free time he had teaching me about the Force so that I don't hurt anyone."

Still no disapproval. So far, so good.

Inwardly, Anakin breathed out. Outwardly, he continued in his calmest voice. "Although he's obviously not my Master and I'm not a Jedi, we inadvertently ended up forming a training bond." He gave a sheepish shrug. "It was entirely my fault, Master. Master Obi-Wan didn't mean to do it, but I'm unusually strong in the Force, so it kind of happened."

Windu was giving him a considering look. "And you are saying that you sensed that Master Kenobi was in danger through your bond?"

Anakin bit the inside of his cheek, no longer able to hide his anxiety. "I can't sense him at all anymore. It's like... like his Force signature is gone. Can't you sense it, too, Master?"

Windu stared at him for a long moment. "No," he said at last. "Over such great distances it's generally impossible unless the Jedi is extremely powerful or there's a _very_ strong emotional bond between Force-sensitive individuals. Or both."

Anakin tried not to blush, meeting Windu's gaze head-on. He couldn't let him suspect anything. He _couldn't_.

"Master Kenobi took a sample of my blood to run some tests," he said, ducking his head in a manner that hopefully looked humble. "He said I have a higher midi-chlorian count than Grandmaster Yoda."

Windu inhaled sharply, his eyes widening. "And yet he has told us nothing about you."

Anakin shrugged. "There was no point. Master Kenobi said I was too old to be trained as a Jedi, and bringing the Council's attention to me might bring to me the attention of the users of the Dark Side of the Force too."

Slowly, Windu nodded. "I see. But you must understand that I cannot just take your word for it, Anakin. You will meditate with me." It wasn't a suggestion or a request.

Anakin almost lost it, then. Obi-Wan was in mortal danger, and Windu wanted to _meditate_?

But he took a deep breath in, reinforced his mental shields, and nodded. "Of course, Master."

He closed his eyes and allowed his Force signature to brush against Windu's as he slipped into a meditative state. The countless hours of meditation as he had tried to reach Obi-Wan through their bond finally paid off: Anakin could slip into meditation and navigate through his mental landscape effortlessly. He had locked away all the incriminating memories, allowing Windu to see some memories of Obi-Wan lecturing him about the Force and teaching him the lightsaber Forms, before guiding Windu to the Force bond he shared with Obi-Wan.

It felt so weird: meditating with someone who wasn't Obi-Wan. It wasn't as comforting and good. It didn't feel like home. But it still calmed Anakin a little. To his surprise, Windu's mental landscape felt a lot closer to his own. Anakin could feel that behind that calm face, Mace Windu was actually very emotional; he allowed himself to feel negative emotions like anger and hate, but his control over his emotions was _immense_. It was incredibly humbling. This was the only Master of Vaapad, the lightsaber Form that allowed the wielder to channel his own inner darkness into the duel without Falling to the Dark Side. Anakin felt a twinge of admiration.

Windu broke the joint meditation, and Anakin opened his eyes, too.

He found Windu studying him sharply. "Master Kenobi has taught you lightsaber Forms. He has also given you a lightsaber--his old lightsaber that he reported to have _lost_."

Anakin nearly groaned. How could he have possibly forgotten that possessing a lightsaber was illegal for anyone outside the Jedi Order?

"He did, Master," Anakin said, inclining his head. "But you shouldn't blame Master Kenobi for that. I begged him for a lightsaber to be able to protect myself and my family from the Tusken raiders, savage people native to my home planet. They already killed my step-brother and nearly killed me, too." Anakin had chosen his words carefully, not wanting to lie more than necessary. Technically, what he was saying was true; it didn't matter that Obi-Wan had taught him lightsaber Forms _after_ he left Tatooine. As his Master was fond of saying, a good lie could be true...from a certain point of view.

He met Windu's gaze steadily. "Please, Master. Can you now tell me where Obi-Wan was sent to? His life is in danger. We can't waste time any more."

Windu studied him, considering, before getting to his feet. " _We_ won't do anything. You're not a Jedi, Anakin. The Order will handle it. Thank you for bringing the matter to our attention. Master Kenobi is a valuable member of the Council. I will personally lead the rescue mission. If...if Obi-Wan is still alive, we will bring him back."

Anakin's insides clenched. The mere possibility of Obi-Wan not being alive was... No. Obi-Wan was alive, he would know it if he wasn't, right? Right?

He shook his head. "I want to go with your team--I need to go, Master." He would go kriffing insane if he had to wait at home, not knowing what was happening.

Windu sighed, his stern expression softening a little. "You may stay here in the Temple, wait for the news," he said gruffly before striding out of the room.

Anakin took a death breath and exhaled. He was literally shaking with the urge to run after Windu and demand to know where Obi-Wan was. He could--he could make a huge scene until the Jedi finally gave in and included him in the rescue mission. He could just follow the Jedi on his ship when they left.

But he _couldn't_. Doing those things would just mess everything up for Obi-Wan, put him in a difficult position. Because Obi-Wan was _alive_ , dammit, and Obi-Wan was going to be extremely unhappy when he returned and found that Anakin had revealed to everyone that they had a very un-Jedi-like attachment to each other.

Obi-Wan would come home. He would. He had to believe that. He couldn't do anything stupid. And it would be stupid to think that he could do a better job than fully trained Jedi Knights. Master Windu was one of the greatest duelists in the Jedi history. If anyone could save Obi-Wan from whatever predicament he was in, it would be Windu.

So Anakin smothered all his instincts and closed his eyes again, trying to slip into meditation.

He would make his Master proud.

***

Six hours later, a Togruta girl brought him food.

"Thanks, but I don't want to eat," Anakin said, pushing the tray away.

She gave him an unimpressed look. "Master Windu said you're the Temple's guest until his return. Guests get fed. You should eat."

Anakin scowled, but reluctantly picked at the food. His normally ravenous appetite was nowhere to be seen, his stomach in anxious knots. He felt vaguely nauseous.

"Are you really Master Kenobi's padawan?" she said.

Anakin shot her a startled look. "Who told you that?"

The Togruta shrugged. "I overheard Master Windu talking to Master Yoda. He said Master Kenobi has been teaching you unofficially. He said that you felt like a trained padawan in the Force."

Anakin didn't know what to say to that. But then he noticed that the Togruta seemed...upset?

"Are you upset?" he said.

The girl gave him a rueful smile. "A little. I've been kind of hoping that Master Kenobi would take me as a padawan--I thought he'd shown more interest in me than in any other initiate, but... But if he has you, I guess I just imagined that."

Anakin stared at her. His first thought was a vicious, _No way in hell I'm letting Master take a real padawan. Obi-Wan is mine._

But then something tugged at his memory. A Togruta girl...

"Are you... Ahsoka?" Anakin said, frowning. He remembered Obi-Wan mentioning fondly a Togruta padawan-- _Anakin's_ own padawan in another life.

She grinned. "Master Kenobi told you about me?"

Looking into her hopeful, kind eyes, Anakin felt most of his hostility and possessiveness drain away. If she had been his padawan in another life, Obi-Wan was fond of her only because she had been Anakin's, so it was okay. Maybe.

Anyway, it was neither the time nor the place to be getting worked up over this when Obi-Wan was...

Anakin bit his lip hard and breathed, in and out, using a meditation technique to calm himself. Master would be so proud.

"Is there news about Obi-Wan?"

She shook her head, averting her eyes. "I'm just a lowly initiate. What would I know?"

At Anakin's disbelieving look, she snorted. "Fine, I overheard some stuff, but it was nothing definite. They think he's still alive at least. Master Windu took five Knights with him to retrieve him." She patted Anakin's hand. "Don't worry, Master Windu will get Master Kenobi back. He's a great warrior! I wish he took me as his padawan--I would love to learn Vaapad! But but it's been ages since Master Windu took a padawan, so my chances are nearly nonexistent..."

Ahsoka was still saying something about Masters more likely to choose her as a padawan, but Anakin listened only with half an ear.

Force, this was kriffing unbearable: not knowing. Maybe he should have gone after the Jedi after all. What if Obi-Wan needed him--needed _him_ , Anakin?

Rationally, he knew that Master Windu and five trained Knights would do a better job than him, but his heart said a different thing entirely.

At least Ahsoka provided a decent distraction.

But even she was gone after an hour of a mostly one-sided conversation, and Anakin was left alone with his doubts and fears again.

_Please, Master. Be all right. Please._

***

Anakin fell into exhausted sleep at some point in the early hours of the morning.

When he woke up, he felt disoriented for a moment, unsure where he was.

"Good morning, Anakin. Though, technically, it is afternoon already."

Anakin's eyes snapped open. He stared up into Obi-Wan's smiling blue-gray eyes and his heart clenched when he realized he could feel Obi-Wan in the Force again. He wasn't seeing things. He wasn't dreaming. Obi-Wan was _alive_. And he was here.

A wide, helpless smile split Anakin's face. "Obi-Wan!" He was about to throw himself at his Master and _kiss him all over_ , but the warning through their bond stopped him.

_"Dear one, we're not alone."_

Anakin flinched back, as a wild animal reined in. He sat up, turned to the door, and found a green troll watching him carefully. Right. That must be Grandmaster Yoda.

"Hmm," said the troll. "In the Council we expect you and the boy. Explaining you'll have to do, Young Obi-Wan."

Obi-Wan and Anakin exchanged a look.

Kark.

***

Anakin had never been more grateful for their bond. In the time it took to get to the Council chamber, Anakin was able to use their bond to tell Obi-Wan what he had told Master Windu and Obi-Wan gave him a rough outline of what had happened.

Obi-Wan suspected that it was Sidious or Dooku who was behind his kidnapping. His captors were hired guns and they hadn't done anything to him besides locking Obi-Wan up in a Force-blocking room. Obi-Wan was positive that it was another test to make sure that Ben Kenobi wasn't actually Obi-Wan Kenobi undercover. There was the Separatist Council's first session scheduled in two-day's time. If "Ben" missed it, it would have obviously blown Obi-Wan's cover.

 _"If it weren't for you, the Jedi wouldn't have found me in time, Anakin_ ," Obi-Wan said, his Force signature wrapping around Anakin's warmly. " _I'm so proud of you for not acting rashly and instead seeking help from others."_

The praise made Anakin preen and blush a little. Force, he wanted to touch Obi-Wan so badly. The small distance between their bodies as they walked toward the Council Chamber was _maddening_. He hadn't seen Obi-Wan in months, and after all this ordeal, all Anakin wanted was to climb him and _cling_.

 _"But are you in trouble now?"_ Anakin asked through their bond, glancing at the back of Yoda who was floating in his hover chair in front of them.

" _Possibly_ ," Obi-Wan replied. " _Your explanation to Master Windu was a good one, but the Council will no doubt have questions for us before you can go home. Reinforce your shields, dear one."_

Anakin did as he was told, mentally bracing himself, and entered the Council chamber.

***

Obi-Wan did most of the explaining.

Anakin just stood there, marveling at how seamlessly his Master mixed the truths with lies to craft a believable story of how he had met Anakin and why he mentored him. He used Anakin's explanation to Windu, building upon it so masterfully that his actions seemed completely logical and rational.

For the first time, Anakin understood why Obi-Wan was called the Negotiator--the moniker he had been famous for in both of his lives.

"I understand why you didn't tell the Council about the boy, Obi-Wan," Master Fisto (at least Anakin thought his name was Fisto). "But training a civilian as a Jedi without the Council's sanction? That's unheard of. You must put an end to it. The boy is clearly more than trained enough for a civilian to protect himself; there's no need for further training."

There was a murmur of agreement.

Biting the inside of his cheek, Anakin breathed deeply, trying to squash down the urge to tell all these people to mind their own business.

"Disturbing it is, the existence of such a strong bond between you," the green troll said. "Of attachment, it speaks, Young Obi-Wan."

Anakin's stomach sank. He shot Obi-Wan a sideways look and could see that for the first time, Obi-Wan didn't know what to say, how to deny it.

Anakin cleared his throat. "With all due respect, Master Yoda," he said, making the troll look at him. "But why is attachment bad? Aren't Jedi supposed to help people in need? How are they supposed to do it if they don't know how to care? There's nothing wrong with attachment if you don't allow it to cloud your judgment."

"Jedi you are not," Yoda said, frowning. "Understand what you speak about, you do not!"

"The boy is correct."

Anakin's head whipped toward Master Windu, who until now, had said very little. He felt Obi-Wan's surprise, too.

"Skywalker was able to maintain a cool head despite wanting to rescue Master Kenobi," Mace said, looking at Yoda. "I have meditated with the boy and I could see how badly he wanted to participate in the rescue mission, but he listened to me and remained here when I told him to. His mental discipline is a credit to Master Kenobi, considering how little time Obi-Wan had to train him. I could sense Skywalker's anger and fear, but the boy didn't allow them to affect his decision-making. That's very admirable for someone who wasn't trained in the Temple."

Anakin flushed from the unexpected praise. Even Obi-Wan rarely praised his mental discipline.

He could feel Obi-Wan's pride--and amusement.

 _"What's so funny, Master?"_ he asked.

 _"Mace Windu is praising Anakin Skywalker in front of the Council,"_ Obi-Wan replied, his mental voice full of mirth. _"I really must be in an alternate universe."_

Anakin suppressed a smile. "Thank you, Master," he told Master Windu with a slight bow. Honestly, he didn't understand why the other Anakin hadn't liked the Korun; he seemed like one of the decent Jedi here.

"Too attached, they still are," the green troll said. "Cannot be allowed Young Obi-Wan to continue train the boy."

Anakin barely held back his scathing comment. Suppressing the urge to stick his tongue out was even harder. But he managed it. Master Windu was right: his mental discipline was kriffing amazing.

"I agree," a female Jedi said. "But if the boy really is as strong in the Force as Obi-Wan says, isn't it dangerous to leave him to his own devices?"

Yoda nodded, frowning deeply.

Anakin frowned, too, unsure where this was going. He was suddenly unnerved by their grim expressions. Surely they weren't going to...kill him or something, right?

_Right?_

Master Windu's voice broke the tense silence.

"I will take him as my padawan."

And then there was _chaos_.


	9. Chapter 9

* * *

* * *

Obi-Wan had known jealousy.

He had felt bitter and jealous when Master Jinn had declared that he would take another padawan before even telling Obi-Wan first that he was ready to be Knighted. There were other occasions Obi-Wan had felt jealous to some extent.

But he'd never felt such ugly, stomach-twisting jealousy like the feeling that _burned_ his insides whenever he saw Anakin's padawan braid.

The braid that denoted that he was Master Windu's padawan.

Obi-Wan was well aware that such possessiveness wasn't befitting a Jedi. Anakin was clearly thriving as Mace's padawan. In this life, the transition to being a Jedi padawan had been far smoother for Anakin: he wasn't a little boy missing his mom, he'd already known a great deal about Jedi customs and lore, he was proficient at meditating, he didn't have the burden of being "the Chosen One", and he didn't have to settle on having an inexperienced Master who was still grieving his own Master.

Not to mention that being _Mace Windu's_ padawan garnered Anakin the respect and admiration of his peers--respect that being a padawan of an inexperienced Knight hadn't. Mace Windu hadn't taken a padawan in over a decade, so him taking a padawan at all, and a seventeen-year-old one at that, was remarkable by itself. Coupled with the fact Anakin's midi-chlorian count hadn't remained a secret, Anakin's peers seemed convinced that he must be something special.

Obi-Wan wondered how long it would take before someone remembered the prophecy of the Chosen One. It was frustrating to watch as everything he'd done to protect Anakin from Palpatine's attention would soon be all for nothing--just because Anakin had chosen to be respectful to Mace Windu.

No, Obi-Wan _wasn't_ bitter at all.

Force, this couldn't be healthy. Anakin didn't belong to him. There was no law that said that only Obi-Wan Kenobi could be Anakin Skywalker's Master in every life.

Rationally, Obi-Wan knew that.

Rationally, he knew that being taught by Mace would benefit Anakin immensely. Mace would teach him what Obi-Wan couldn't. Whether or not Mace chose to teach Anakin Vaapad, his aggressive fighting style was a better fit for Anakin's nature than Obi-Wan's patient, defensive fighting style. Mace could teach Anakin how to handle and wield his negative emotions without letting them drive him to the dark side. Rationally, Obi-Wan knew all of that.

It didn't change anything. He still felt unreasonably jealous and bitter whenever he heard of "Master Windu's padawan."

It didn't help that he'd barely seen Anakin in the past seven days. Obi-Wan had had to leave for the Separatists' Council session soon after Mace claimed Anakin as his padawan, and he had been away for six days. Ever since his return, he'd seen Anakin twice, and both times Anakin was by Mace's side. Anakin had looked... good. Calm, settled in his skin, and completely comfortable as a Jedi. Seeing Anakin in Jedi clothes again was...very bittersweet, and Anakin's padawan haircut brought an involuntary smile to Obi-Wan's lips, but those were the only positives. Anakin had just bowed to him, murmuring respectfully "Master" before following Mace like a good padawan without even glancing back at Obi-Wan.

Even their bond was silent, blocked off on both sides like it had never been before. It was the smart thing to do, considering that Anakin now also shared a Force bond with Mace, and it would be very risky to use their bond for communication now.

It still smarted. Obi-Wan felt a profound sense of loss, close to the loss and heartbreak he'd felt on Mustafar. At least Anakin was alive, well, and still on the Light side.

But his boy was no longer his, once again. In the other life, Anakin had betrayed everything Obi-Wan had taught him and chose Sidious as his Master. In this life, he'd chosen Mace Windu.

Anakin had never really chosen him, had he?

The thought _ate_ at him. No matter how often he meditated, Obi-Wan didn't seem to be capable of releasing that ugly feeling into the Force.

He wondered if that was how one Fell to the dark side--when one could no longer let go of negative emotions.

The thought was... disturbing.

There had been times in Obi-Wan's life when he came close to losing himself and Falling. Qui-Gon's death was one of them. Anakin's Fall and betrayal was another. Both times his grief had been all-consuming. But when Qui-Gon died, he had Anakin to care for, and after Mustafar, he had Anakin's son to protect.

Now he had nothing. Nothing to keep his sane. Even his temporary success at the Separatists' Council seemed meaningless, unimportant. Yes, he had managed to talk the other leaders of the Separatists' Council into opening a dialogue with the Republic instead of declaring a war, but Obi-Wan found it hard to be satisfied with anything when he felt like he'd lost the most important thing in his life.

It wasn't the Jedi way. In his previous life, Obi-Wan would have managed to set his personal loss aside for the good of the Republic, but his soul wasn't as whole and unscarred anymore. He was no longer as capable of being selfless. He felt tired of giving and giving, and everything he loved being taken away from him, again, and again, and again.

A quiet knock on his door tore him out of his increasingly gloomy thoughts.

Obi-Wan opened his eyes and stared at the door. His stomach lurched as he recognized the Force signature.

After a moment, he schooled his features and opened the door with a wave of his hand.

Anakin entered, looking uncharacteristically unsure.

"Yes, Padawan?" Obi-Wan said tonelessly.

Anakin shifted from one foot to the other, his gaze searching. "Master, I--"

"Shouldn't you be in your room at this hour?" Obi-Wan said, keeping his voice even.

Anakin scoffed. "I'm not a child, Obi-Wan."

Obi-Wan gave him a flat look. "That's Master Kenobi for you, Padawan Skywalker."

Anakin stared at him, radiating incredulity and confusion. "Obi-Wan, what the kark?"

"Master Kenobi, Padawan," Obi-Wan corrected him again.

Anakin studied him, frowning. "You're angry at me."

Obi-Wan's lips thinned. "I can't imagine why. A Jedi doesn't feel anger."

"That's bantha poodoo," Anakin said before striding over and dropping himself into his lap.

Obi-Wan stiffened. "Padawan, please remove yourself from my person."

"No," Anakin said, grabbing his shoulders, his gaze stubborn and pleading at the same time. "Why are you so angry at me, Master? Because I agreed to become a Jedi? But why? If you're worried about Sidious, you know I'm hardly the oblivious fool the other Anakin was."

Obi-Wan pressed his lips together. "I'm not...angry."

Anakin snorted. "Right. And banthas can fly. What's this really about?"

"Remove yourself from my person," Obi-Wan repeated. "You should go. Your Master must be looking for you."

Anakin narrowed his eyes. Cocking his head, he eyed him. "Are you... Are you actually _jealous_ , Master?"

Obi-Wan glared at him. "No. You're dismissed, Padawan."

Anakin didn't move. "You're jealous," he stated. He chuckled. "Of Master Windu? Really? Why?"

Obi-Wan said nothing. Nothing he could say would sound remotely sane or rational.

Anakin's amused smile faded. He frowned, chewing on his lip. "To be fair, I would absolutely _hate_ it if you got a padawan, so I guess I get it, but..." He took Obi-Wan's hand and squeezed it, looking him in the eye. "Please, Master. You have to understand that I agreed to be Master Windu's padawan so we could be closer. I'm sick and tired of seeing you once in three or four months! I can't karking do it anymore, okay? That's why I agreed, not because I wanted to be someone else's padawan. You'll always be my Master. That green troll can't change that."

"Don't call Master Yoda a troll, Anakin," Obi-Wan said absentmindedly as he tried to process Anakin's explanation.

It... hadn't occurred to him that Anakin had chosen to become Mace's padawan because of him. It shouldn't have changed anything.

But it did.

Force help them, it did.

"Now can I finally get a kiss?" Anakin said with a crooked smile, his other hand slipping into Obi-Wan's hair. He pressed their chests flush. "It's been months, Master."

Obi-Wan looked down at those full, beautiful lips so close to his own, and swallowed. He shouldn't. They were at the Jedi Temple, for Force's sake. Anakin had a bond with _Mace Windu_ , of all people, and Mace could likely sense Anakin's strong emotions the way Obi-Wan used to sense his padawan's strong emotions in the other life. It was too dangerous. Not to mention that Anakin was still seventeen--for five more days. He shouldn't.

Force, he _wanted_ to. He wanted to plunder the boy's mouth and feel Anakin moan and fall apart against him. He wanted to push Anakin onto the meditation mat, spread his thighs, and put himself inside him so deeply no one could ever separate them. He wanted too many things he had no right to want.

Obi-Wan allowed himself to press his mouth against Anakin's smooth cheek. Anakin shivered and whined, chasing his lips.

Obi-Wan inhaled shakily and turned his face away. "We can't, dear one. You're a padawan learner. I'm a Jedi Master. I would be banished from the Order for this if anyone were to find out."

Groaning in frustration, Anakin dropped his face onto Obi-Wan's shoulder. "It's like everything is karking conspiring against us."

_Perhaps the Force is trying to say that it's wrong, that it isn't the path we were ever meant to walk._

Pushing the unsettling thought away, Obi-Wan wrapped his arms around Anakin and held him close. This was allowed. This was still attachment, deep and forbidden, but it wasn't morally wrong. He could hold Anakin and savor this stolen moment.

This had to be enough.

 _For how long?_ a voice whispered at the back of his mind. He was only a man. How long could he fight the temptation--fight himself--before succumbing to it?

Obi-Wan closed his eyes, knowing the answer to that. He would eventually end up doing what he shouldn't, his morals and Mace Windu be damned.

So unless he wanted to be banished from the Council before his plans could come to fruition, perhaps those plans had to be pushed forward. It wasn't ideal, as Obi-Wan couldn't be certain of the outcome, but he had little choice.

He didn't trust himself.

***

It took Mace a total of an hour of sharing a Force bond with Anakin Skywalker to realize his padawan wasn't actually very respectful.

It took Mace six days to realize that he wasn't as bothered by the fact as he should have been.

The boy was impetient and arrogant, there was little doubt about it, but he was also eager and quick to learn anything Mace taught him--anything Anakin _wanted_ to learn, because there was a difference. At first Mace hadn't appreciated how different Anakin was from Depa in that regard--she had never questioned him when she was a padawan--but he'd come to appreciate the boy's sharp, inquisitive mind. Truth be told, some of his new padawan's questions made Mace question things he never had before.

_Master, why do the Jedi pretend that the original version of the Code doesn't exist?_

_Emotion, yet peace._  
_Ignorance, yet knowledge._  
_Passion, yet serenity._  
_Chaos, yet harmony._  
_Death, yet the Force._

Mace hadn't known what to say to that, especially since he could relate to the older version of the Jedi Code easier than to the newer one. Mace was a Master of Vaapad--emotion, passion, and chaos where the driving forces of that Form. " _Chaos, yet harmony_ " and " _emotion, yet peace_ " were the most accurate way to describe the form Mace practiced for decades. Vaapad was a state of mind rather than a fighting style, after all.

So he couldn't tell Anakin that the older version of the Code was wrong. He would be the biggest hypocrite to do so.

Instead, he told him, "The old Code isn't wrong, Padawan. But it is more difficult. Few Jedi can follow it without Falling."

Blue eyes stared at him intently. "But you can do it, Master. Will you teach me? Please?"

It was rather disturbing how difficult it was to say no to those eyes.

Master Yoda advised him to refuse.

"Too old, he is," he told Mace. "Dangerous, it would be to teach him your form. To the Dark Side, it might lead him."

But Mace didn't think so. Anakin wasn't much behind his peers. He was also far better with a lightsaber than Mace had expected, already excellent at Djem So and competent at Soresu and Shien. He wouldn't have to teach Anakin the basics.

So in the end, he agreed to teach the boy Vaapad, despite Yoda's disapproving gaze on them whenever he came across their training sessions.

But then again, perhaps the old grandmaster's disapproval had nothing to do with Vaapad, and everything to do with Yoda still being less than happy about Mace taking the boy as his padawan, especially since Mace hadn't been able to explain why he had done it.

He still wasn't sure if he should tell Master Yoda about the shatterpoints he'd seen. Yoda already distrusted the boy as it was.

The truth was, when he'd seen Anakin Skywalker for the first time, the shatterpoints around the boy were the first thing Mace had seen. He could feel that this boy was _important_ \--important both to the Cosmic Force and, surprisingly, to Mace personally. The Force hadn't been clear on whether the boy was a friend or foe--Mace could sense that it could go either way. He could sense that the boy could become the biggest danger to the Order or its salvation. Had Anakin been ruder or less poised, Mace would have likely turned the strange, dangerous boy away.

But Anakin hadn't.

The moment Mace had made the choice and told the Council that he would take the boy as his padawan, he felt an immense shift in the Force, as if he'd erased an entire path, as if he changed his own path in the Force.

It was most peculiar. He'd never sensed shatterpoints so strong.

Mace still wasn't completely sure that he hadn't made a mistake, but he wasn't a man who generally second-guessed himself. He'd chosen the path, chosen Anakin Skywalker as his padawan, and Mace was going to make him the greatest kriffing Jedi that ever walked these halls.

Some Jedi considered ambition a sin, but not Mace Windu. He was the youngest Jedi Master in the Order's history, a Council member by the age of twenty-eight. His first padawan was already a Council member. His new padawan would be as successful, if not more. The shatterpoints around Anakin still existed--the boy _will be_ important--but Mace didn't sense as much danger from them.

Those shatterpoints didn't worry him.

The shatterpoints Mace saw around Master Kenobi did.


	10. Chapter 10

* * *

* * *

Anakin's eighteenth birthday was a lot quieter than he'd expected. And a lot more disappointing.

He'd been looking forward to this day for a year, and now that it was finally here, he felt kriffing cheated. Obi-Wan was nowhere to be found, although Anakin could sense that he was on Coruscant. Then again, Anakin could barely sense him: Obi-Wan had him so blocked from his mind that it felt like beating against a stone wall every time Anakin tried to use their bond.

Even his holocall to his mother had failed to improve Anakin's day: Shmi hadn't quite managed to hide how happy she was that Anakin was now under the care of another Jedi. It put Anakin in a foul mood. Regardless of his mother's words that she was fine with Anakin's feelings for Obi-Wan, she clearly _wasn't_ completely fine if she now felt relieved that Obi-Wan didn't have any real power over him--that someone else had.

Anakin scoffed at the thought. His mother's obvious relief and Obi-Wan's jealousy over Master Windu were so ridiculous. Was he the only one who understood that Master Windu would never mean to him what Obi-Wan did?

He respected his Jedi Master a great deal, even admired him, but it was nothing compared to what he felt for Obi-Wan. He _needed_ Obi-Wan with everything he was: Obi-Wan's attention, his gaze on him, his touch, his kindness, his arms around him, his mouth on his, his body on top of him--

Anakin winced, pushing the thought away. He couldn't think about it now. Master Windu was bound to return from the emergency Senate session any moment now. Thankfully, Master Windu never demanded that he must be unemotional--he taught Anakin how to _use_ those emotions without letting them use him. Granted, so far, Anakin had only limited success with it, but Mace didn't seem disappointed with his progress, to Anakin's relief.

He did want to impress his Jedi Master. He liked the Korun. Behind his grumpy exterior, Mace Windu was actually a great Master. He could actually understand Anakin's struggles with controlling his anger and temper. He could teach him things Obi-Wan didn't quite understand. Anakin felt a little guilty for thinking that, as if he was betraying Obi-Wan by such thoughts, but there was no denying that Mace Windu was probably a Jedi that could relate to Anakin the best.

It was baffling and a little saddening to think that in another life, his Jedi Master hadn't even liked him. Anakin would wonder how it was even possible, except he knew that the first impression was often the foundation for people's relationship. In another life, if all Master Windu could see was an untrained slave boy, too powerful and volatile with his emotions, of course he would be wary. Mace Windu knew intimately just how hard it was to rein such anger in; he wouldn't think the other Anakin could do it.

Anakin was starting to think the other Anakin really got the short end of the stick.

He was torn out of his thoughts by the sound of the door opening. He lifted his head as Master Windu entered the quarters.

The greeting that had been on Anakin's lips died the moment he saw the grim, thoughtful expression on the Korun's face. "Master? Is something wrong?"

Anakin didn't feel strange about calling him _Master_ anymore. He had learned that one word could mean completely different things in different situations. When he had been a slave, _Master_ was a term he associated with helpless anger, hatred, and disgust. When he was with Obi-Wan, _Master_ was more of a term of endearment that meant home, need, and want, all wrapped up in one word. When he was with Master Windu, _Master_ was a term of respect it was meant to be.

"Have you not seen the news, Padawan?" Windu said, walking to their kitchen area and making himself a drink

Anakin frowned. Truth be told, he had been sulking all morning and hadn't really checked the news. "What are you talking about, Master?"

"See for yourself. It's all over the HoloNet."

Anakin reached for his tablet and brought up the HoloNet. The headlines made him blink.

THE CHANCELLOR ACCUSED OF TREASON

A HOLOTAPE OF COUNT DOOKU'S CONVERSATION WITH HIS AIDE, IN WHICH HE ALLUDES TO THE CHANCELLOR'S SUPPORT OF THE SEPARATISTS

PALPATINE DEFENDS HIMSELF AND URGES THE SENATE NOT TO BELIEVE THE MALICIOUS LIES

"What the kark?" Anakin said, his mind racing. That was too soon. As far as he knew, Obi-Wan hadn't been planning to play this card until he had conclusive proof of Palpatine's guilt. This holotape in which Dooku just hinted at the Chancellor's support wasn't it.

So why had Obi-Wan done this now? To shake the Republic's belief in Palpatine, in order to prevent the Senate from granting him the emergency powers, as it had been rumored for a while? To shake Dooku's standing in the Separatists' Council? To hurt Dooku's relationship with Sidious? All of the above?

"My sentiments precisely," Master Windu said grimly. "It's a mess."

Anakin skimmed over the articles. "It says here that most of the Senators believe that Palpatine was slandered, that it's the Separatists' plot against him."

Master Windu pursed his lips and said nothing.

Anakin studied him. "What do you think, Master?"

Mace eyed his drink grimly. "The Chancellor's words make sense. It makes sense that it's the Separatists' plot to weaken the Republic."

Anakin bit the inside of you cheek. He hesitated before saying, "But what if it isn't?"

Master Windu lifted his eyes at him. "What you're suggesting is treason, Padawan."

Anakin scoffed. "You're thinking it too. What if Palpatine is supporting the Separatists behind the scenes? What if he wants this war to start?"

Master Windu eyed him strangely. "Why would he want it?" he said, his expression unreadable.

Anakin shrugged and looked at his hands, wishing Obi-Wan chose to be honest with Master Windu. "I don't know. But I think it's worth looking into. And I think we shouldn't trust Palpatine with any Jedi plans."

"You're lying, Anakin."

Anakin froze. Slowly, he lifted his gaze to the Korun. "Master?"

Master Windu was studying him with a sharp, intense gaze. "I can sense that you are lying. You know more than you are saying, Padawan."

Anakin felt his face warm. Sometimes he forgot that he and Master Windu shared a Force bond. Just because it wasn't as intense as the one between him and Obi-Wan, it didn't mean his Jedi Master couldn't sense his emotions through it.

Kark.

Anakin thought frantically, his insides twisting when he realized that he would end up betraying one of his Masters' trust either way. He didn't want to betray Obi-Wan's trust, but... but he didn't really agree with Obi-Wan's decision to do everything on his own. No matter how skilled, Obi-Wan was just one man. He shouldn't have to work alone, risking his life, his health, and his sanity in the process. Anakin worried for him.

"Master," Anakin said, wetting his lips. "I want to tell you, but it's not my secret to tell."

Mace stared at him for a moment, his face inscrutable. "Is it, by any chance, Master Kenobi's?"

When Anakin couldn't deny it, the Korun pinched the bridge of his nose. "Padawan, you will tell me everything. Now."

Anakin pressed his lips together. "Master, will you promise not to be angry with Obi-Wan?"

Master Windu's eyes narrowed. "Obi-Wan is Master Kenobi for you, Padawan. I understand that you were quite friendly before, but now you're a padawan learner and he's a Council member. Any familiarity between you is unacceptable."

Anakin almost laughed. If only Master Windu knew that he had Obi-Wan's tongue down his throat multiple times.

"I understand, Master," Anakin said. "So will you promise that Master Kenobi won't get in trouble for what I'm about to tell you?"

Mace gave him a pinched look. "That's hardly a promising start, Padawan."

"Promise me," Anakin said, looking him in the eye intently. "I know you're a man of your word, Master. I want to trust you, but I don't want to say anything that might hurt the man who...saved me from slavery." _The man who is my world._

Master Windu's jaw clenched. "I'll do my best to be more understanding, but I can't give such a promise without knowing what Obi-Wan has done."

Anakin sighed, knowing that it was as close to a promise as he could expect.

"I might have omitted a few things when I told you how Ob--Master Kenobi and I met," Anakin said.

***

Obi-Wan had just returned to his room when there was an impatient knock on his door.

Both wanting and dreading that it was Anakin, Obi-Wan unlocked the door.

It wasn't Anakin.

It was Anakin's _Master_.

"Master Windu," Obi-Wan said in a neutral voice. At least he hoped it was neutral.

Mace moved past him into the room. "Close the door, Obi-Wan."

Obi-Wan. "Obi-Wan" meant that Mace wasn't here on official business.

Obi-Wan closed the door and turned to the Korun. "Is something the matter, Master?" Mace might be allowed to call him by his name, but he was still a senior Council member who was twenty years his senior. Mace was a second-in-command to Master Yoda, after all.

"My padawan just told me everything, Obi-Wan," Mace said.

Ignoring an unpleasant twinge at the words "my padawan," Obi-Wan looked at Mace blankly. "Master?"

Mace crossed his arms over his chest and leveled him with an unimpressed look. "He told me about your... time-traveling."

Pushing away the pang of betrayal, Obi-Wan managed, "I see."

Mace raised his eyebrows. "Granted, Anakin's words weren't all that surprising to me. I suspected that something was amiss with you for quite some time, Obi-Wan. You have been worrying me for some time now."

"In what way, Master?" Obi-Wan said evenly.

Mace frowned, studying him. "You can be honest with me, Obi-Wan. I came here to talk to you personally instead of going to the Council for a reason." He made a face. "That, and I promised my padawan that his confession won't get you in trouble."

Mace's pinched expression almost made Obi-Wan smile. It seemed Master Windu wasn't immune to Anakin's unique brand of charm, either--and wasn't too happy about it.

Mace sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "If he really was your padawan in the other timeline, you probably know exactly what I mean."

Obi-Wan snorted. "I've been told numerous times that I was too indulgent with Anakin as his Master--by none other than you, Master."

If possible, Mace's expression became even more pinched. "It seems I have a new perspective on the subject." He cleared his throat. "In any case, here I am, and I want the truth, Obi-Wan."

"I'm not sure what you expect me to say, Master," Obi-Wan said carefully. "It seems our padawan already told you everything." Judging by Mace's narrowed eyes, he hadn't quite managed to sound as neutral as he had aimed for.

"Anakin just recounted to me what you had told him," Mace said. "And I hardly think that you could have possibly been entirely honest with a child."

Mace's logic was sound--except it was incomplete, because Mace didn't know the extent of Obi-Wan's attachment to Anakin. He couldn't possibly know that Obi-Wan was... how had Anakin's co-worker called him? _Whipped_. Yes, that was the word, and probably not an inaccurate one.

"I was completely honest with Anakin," Obi-Wan said, avoiding Mace's gaze. "It's true that I didn't tell him the truth about Darth Vader when he was a child, but a few years ago, he sensed that I wasn't telling him the full truth and I was forced to tell him about him being a Sith Lord in another life."

A deep furrow appeared between Mace's brows. "I could sense the shatterpoints around the boy from the moment I met him, so learning that he could have become a user of the Dark Side of the Force in other circumstances isn't surprising." He glared at Obi-Wan. "But what was surprising is to learn that a Jedi I trusted implicitly was hiding from us a not-insignificant fact that the Chancellor of the Republic is a Sith."

Obi-Wan bowed his head. Truth be told, the decision not to tell the truth to anyone hadn't been an easy one. He'd considered involving at least Master Yoda and Master Windu in his plans, but he didn't think that they would agree with his plan. After all, when he had first woken up in this time, Obi-Wan was still a padawan and then a freshly Knighted Jedi, whose opinion wouldn't have been taken seriously by Yoda and Mace because of his youth. Not to mention that Obi-Wan wasn't sure they would have believed him at all.

"With all due respect, Master," Obi-Wan said, lifting his gaze and meeting the Korun's eyes firmly. "But would you have believed me back then if I told you that not only the Sith were back, but that I also lived a life where the Republic and Jedi were no more? You wouldn't have taken my words at face value. At best, you would have started investigating, which would have inevitably attracted Sidious's attention and ruined my plans. You believe it now because you can sense through your Force bond to Anakin that he wasn't lying, and because you know me and respect me far more than you did a decade ago."

Mace still didn't look pleased, but he gave a grudging nod. "You're probably right," he conceded with a sigh. He took a seat on Obi-Wan's couch, and looked at him steadily. "Very well. I accept your explanation, but I expect you to be completely honest from now on, Obi-Wan. Now, start talking."

Obi-Wan inclined his head, feeling a pang of shame and guilt. He could never be absolutely honest with Mace.

If Mace knew about the nature of his feelings for his barely legal padawan, his good opinion of Obi-Wan would be lost forever.

***

It was two hours later when Obi-Wan closed the door behind Master Windu. He leaned back against it, feeling exhausted and drained after speaking about the events of his previous life. Yet he couldn't deny that he felt lighter now that the burden of saving the galaxy was shared with another Jedi.

With Mace Windu in the picture, his plans would have to be altered, but many things would be significantly easier too. Perhaps Anakin had done the right thing by telling the truth to Mace.

A knock on the door made Obi-Wan tense up. He turned around and stared at it, his heart starting to thud somewhere in his throat.

He shouldn't open the door.

He should put some distance between him and Anakin now that he would work closely with Anakin's Master. His yearning for the boy was inappropriate. Mace would _kill_ him if he knew Obi-Wan wanted his padawan in the basest sense of the word.

And yet, his hand reached out and opened the door.

Anakin stood on the other side, managing to look defiant, guilty, and excited at the same time. He stepped inside and closed the door. "Before you chew me out for telling the truth to Master Windu, remember it's my birthday, Master."

Obi-Wan arched an eyebrow. "Is it?" he said mildly. "It must have slipped my mind in all the excitement."

Anakin glared at him, taking a step closer. "I'm _eighteen_ now, Obi-Wan," he said.

Obi-Wan crossed his arms over his chest. "And, Padawan Skywalker?"

Anakin stared at him incredulously. "You can't do this. You promised!"

Obi-Wan gave him a pinched look. "I promised that we would _discuss_ this when you are eighteen. And now I'm telling you that any...physical relationship between a Council member and a barely legal padawan would be completely inappropriate. It would be an abuse of power, Anakin."

Anakin's anger felt like a storm in the Force. "You can't do this!" he said, his blue eyes filling with angry tears, face flushed red.

Trying to ignore the way those tears affected him, Obi-Wan said, "Your reaction only confirms how young you still are, Anakin. Let this be the last time we speak of this--"

Anakin dropped to his knees and yanked at Obi-Wan's fly, tearing the fabric.

Obi-Wan's eyes widened. "Cease this immediately, Anakin. Get up! That's an order--" His words turned into a hiss as Anakin's mouth enveloped his rapidly hardening cock. "Anakin, stop."

Anakin didn't stop. His _warm, wet_ mouth felt perfect around him as Anakin aggressively sucked his cock. Obi-Wan had never thought it was possible to perform oral sex so aggressively, but Anakin somehow managed it, choking himself on Obi-Wan's length but not stopping, bobbing his head up and down, blue eyes glaring up at him.

Obi-Wan could only stare at him dazedly, his words of protest dying in his throat as he watched Anakin--his Anakin, the boy he'd once raised--suck his cock as if he'd die without it, all sloppy and undignified but eager. It shouldn't have been so arousing. But it was. Force help them, it was.

Obi-Wan knew he must stop this, but it was as if he was paralyzed, all his senses focused on his cock and Anakin's wet, perfect mouth around it.

When Obi-Wan finally managed to move it wasn't to push Anakin away. He found himself pushing into Anakin's mouth, his hand finding Anakin's padawan braid. The feel of it in his hand should have reminded Obi-Wan how wrong this was, but it didn't. All it reminded him of was the braid Anakin had once had as _his_ padawan. His mind felt hazy, his memories of both Anakins mixing together, his love for the other Anakin--platonic and brotherly--only making more intense the storm of desire and need he felt for this one.

Anakin moaned appreciatively as Obi-Wan started thrusting into his mouth, defeated by his own desire. The boy stopped bobbing his head and just _relaxed_ , letting Obi-Wan take his mouth, use him as he pleased. It touched something base and primitive in him, this beautiful submission, and Obi-Wan's hand tightened in Anakin's braid, his thrusts becoming faster and harder.

At that moment, he didn't care that this was wrong, that he was Anakin's superior, that he was twice his age, that Anakin deserved better than a man whose soul was irrevocably twisted by his experiences, that he would be thrown out of the Order for this if anyone were to find out...

All he cared about was Anakin, the years of love and need finally finding a physical outlet as Obi-Wan took his boy's mouth. He watched that beloved face greedily, watching Anakin's pretty lips stretched around his red, glistening length. It looked obscene. A distant part of him still found this wrong--fucking the mouth of a boy he'd once been a father figure for--but paradoxically, it felt right too, like Anakin's mouth was created to fit around his cock, like _Anakin_ was created for him, Obi-Wan Kenobi.

A Jedi should never think this way. But Obi-Wan couldn't help it. He couldn't help thinking that perhaps if he had encouraged his padawan's affection for him instead of keeping his distance, he would have had this, and Anakin wouldn't have been _stolen_ from him, first by Senator Amidala and then by Darth Sidious.

It wasn't the Jedi way, to think like that. But it wasn't the Jedi way to fuck a padawan half one's age, either, but Obi-Wan was doing exactly that. He squeezed his eyes shut, his hips pistoning in and out of that wet heat, his cock bumping into Anakin's throat again and again until Anakin changed the angle and let Obi-Wan inside it, his throat squeezing him. The feeling was incredible, and Obi-Wan growled, low and almost pained, as he spilled his release deep into Anakin's throat.

Force.

When he could think again and opened his eyes, he found Anakin still mouthing his oversensitive cock as his hand stroked his own erection, fast and desperate.

Obi-Wan watched it for a moment before his hand found itself back into Anakin's short hair, stroking it. "Good boy."

Anakin moaned and came into his own hand, his pleasure filling the bond wave after wave.

Obi-Wan could only hope Mace couldn't feel it too.

"He would think nothing of it," Anakin said hoarsely, his satisfied expression changing to one of amusement. "He knows how horny I am. I jerk off often enough for Master Windu to get used to it."

Obi-Wan gave him a pinched look.

Anakin only grinned at him, looking happy, sated, and so lovely that Obi-Wan wanted to _consume_ him.

"We can't do this again," Obi-Wan said, closing his eyes and trying to release his emotions and desires into the Force. It didn't work. "This was a mistake, Anakin. It can never happen again."

He felt Anakin get up.

Soft lips brushed against Obi-Wan's scruffy jawline. "Lying to oneself doesn't befit a Jedi, Master," he murmured teasingly, biting Obi-Wan's earlobe. "You know I'm right. We need each other too much. It _will_ happen again. And again and again and again. We both know it, Obi-Wan."

After placing a short but needy kiss against Obi-Wan's unmoving mouth, Anakin was gone.

Obi-Wan opened his eyes to the empty room.

His lips were tingling, his hands still clenched into fists by his sides.


	11. Chapter 11

* * *

* * *

"The problem with your plan is," Mace said. "While the recent scandal will definitely make Palpatine act sooner rather than later, we don't know what he'll do. And that's not ideal."

Obi-Wan nodded, his face serene and completely unreadable. "Yes, Master, but I have Dooku tailed. If Palpatine contacts him to reprimand him for the leak, we'll know. And that will be another proof of their association."

By the window, Anakin sighed, his annoyance obvious in the Force. "I still think it's stupid that we can't just arrest Palpatine for being a Sith. Why isn't there a law about it?"

Mace shot his padawan a look. He was still less than happy about Anakin's inclusion in this meeting, but the boy had somehow managed to convince him that three minds were better than two.

Mace was well aware that he was being too indulgent with the insolent boy, but unfortunately, being aware of the problem and fixing it were two different things.

"The modern laws were written when the Sith were thought to be extinct," Obi-Wan replied before Mace could. "Non-Force-sensitives wouldn't even understand what the word Sith means. If we simply try to take the Supreme Chancellor of the Republic into custody on the basis of him being some 'Sith,' Palpatine will be completely justified to accuse us of treason and he will have the public sympathy on his side."

"We could just kill him," Anakin grumbled.

"Padawan," Mace snapped, and realized that Obi-Wan had said the same thing at the same time.

He and Obi-Wan stared at each other.

An expression of discomfort appeared on Obi-Wan's face--discomfort and something else.

Mace narrowed his eyes, but decided to focus his attention on Anakin. For now.

"While your suggestion is not without merit, that is not the Jedi way, Padawan," Mace said. "We are not assassins."

Anakin pulled a face. "I know, Master," he said, his expression mutinous. "But sometimes it's worth making an exception. Don't you think having a Sith at the head of the Republic is worth making an exception for?"

Privately, Mace couldn't say he disagreed with his padawan, but he was uncomfortable saying so around Master Kenobi.

Truth be told, although Mace commanded a lot of respect in the Order, he was well aware of his own flaws. He would never be a perfect Jedi. He would never be serene and impartial. Although he kept his emotions under a tight control, he had too many of them. He could never achieve an absolute serenity, something that seemed to come easily to Jedi like Obi-Wan.

"Master Windu is right, Anakin," Obi-Wan said, sighing. "Besides, killing the Chancellor without attracting anyone's attention would be nearly impossible," he added with the air of someone who'd actually given it a lot of thought.

Mace stared at him. Perhaps he had been wrong about Obi-Wan being a perfect Jedi after all.

To be fair to Obi-Wan, Mace couldn't deny that the idea of simply killing Sidious _was_ incredibly tempting. But Obi-Wan was right: it would be nearly impossible, since Palpatine didn't go anywhere without a huge entourage of guards, assistants, and servants. The Jedi's reputation would be in ruins if someone saw them assassinating the Chancellor.

No, that wasn't the solution.

They needed proof, ironclad proof of Palpatine's crimes before they could arrest him.

"You said you have Dooku closely followed," Mace said, looking at Obi-Wan. "How can you be confident about it? Droids can be fooled easily enough."

"He isn't being tailed by a droid, but by a skilled Force-sensitive," Obi-Wan replied. "Dooku will not slip away from her. Ventress specializes in tailing and hunting down people."

Mace tensed. "Ventress? The bounty hunter? She's a darksider! Have you lost your mind, Obi-Wan? She'll betray you."

"No, she will not," Obi-Wan said calmly.

Mace scoffed. "All bounty hunters care about is money."

"Indeed," Obi-Wan said, inclining his head. "Which is why she'll remain loyal to me."

Mace stared at him. "You... you cannot mean that you _bought_ her loyalty."

Obi-Wan didn't even look ashamed, meeting his gaze steadily. "I know it is not the Jedi way, but needs must."

Mace wondered if he even knew this man. He'd always considered Obi-Wan one of the best Jedi of his generation, if not the best. Sometimes Mace even envied Obi-Wan for his ability to look unfazed and serene in any situation.

But it was the first time it occurred to Mace that Obi-Wan's unflappable attitude might be a sign of him being pragmatic and calculating rather than a sign of his Jedi serenity.

"Master is right," Anakin cut in. "The end justifies the means in this case."

Mace was confused for a moment before realizing that Anakin meant Obi-Wan when he said _Master_.

Ignoring the twinge of some unpleasant emotion, Mace looked between his padawan and Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan didn't react to Anakin's words at all, his gaze unreadable.

Anakin's gaze wasn't unreadable. It was full of... _devotion_ as he stared at Obi-Wan.

Mace tried not to frown. It was natural that Anakin was attached to Obi-Wan after the latter freed him from slavery and saved his life from the Tuskens. He couldn't expect a boy who lived as a civilian for nearly eighteen years not to have attachments. The important thing was, Anakin had demonstrated that he could behave rationally even when the object of his attachment was in danger. Mace could hardly expect Anakin to forget his old attachments so fast just because he was now a Jedi padawan.

It still unsettled him.

Mace also couldn't deny that he... didn't like that his padawan referred to another Jedi as "Master" in his presence. Obi-Wan should be _Master Kenobi_ to Anakin, not _Master_ \--at least not when Anakin's real Master was in the same room.

Pushing his displeasure into the Force, Mace said tersely, "Perhaps. In any case, we cannot just rely on Dooku to slip. After the leak, he and Sidious will be extra careful and we might be waiting a long time, time we do not necessarily have." He looked at Obi-Wan. "I know you thwarted Sidious and Dooku's plans so far, preventing them from starting the war, but the Sith are treacherous beings and they usually have countless contingency plans."

Obi-Wan nodded, frowning. "What do you propose?"

Mace sighed. "I considered destroying the cloning facilities on Kamino, but it seems... inhumane."

Obi-Wan nodded. Anakin made a face and nodded too.

"So instead, I suggest another plan. A plan that will expose Sidious." Mace paused, hesitating. He didn't like the plan much, if he were honest, but it seemed there was little choice. "Sith crave power. If Sidious learns of Anakin's midi-chlorian count, he'll be unable to resist the temptation to have him as his apprentice, especially if we'll let it leak that Anakin is the Chosen One--"

" _No_ ," Obi-Wan snapped. "That's out of the question."

Mace was so stunned by the _rage_ the usually calm Jedi Master emanated, that it took him a moment to recover.

When he did, he narrowed his eyes. " _Master Kenobi_ , you are forgetting yourself. That is not your decision to make. Anakin is not your padawan. He's mine."

Obi-Wan's jaw clenched tightly. Mace could _feel_ him release his anger and fear into the Force--because it was done so clumsily that one would think Obi-Wan was an inexperienced padawan instead of a highly skilled Master.

"I'm willing to be the bait," Anakin cut in, breaking the tense silence. His voice softened. "I'm not afraid, Master."

There was little doubt who he was addressing. Pursing his lips, Mace looked away. He didn't release his anger and bitterness into the Force; he buried them deep in his psyche, to be used later. Vaapad relied on one's negative emotions after all.

"Very well," Mace said. "I'll let it leak, then." He gave a clipped nod to Kenobi, and then even a more clipped one to Anakin before striding out of the room.

"May the Force be with you, Master," Anakin said as Mace placed his hand on the door handle.

Mace felt something in him unclench. "And with you, Padawan."

***

_May the Force be with you, Master._

How many times his padawan had told him that as they parted? Too many to count.

Those were also the last words Anakin had told to him before his Fall, his last good memory of Anakin in his previous life.

Obi-Wan couldn't deny that it felt... incredibly jarring to hear Anakin say those words when they were meant for someone else.

"I think I hurt him," Anakin said, grimacing. "I didn't mean to call you Master in his presence. Master Windu isn't stupid. He clearly understood that I still think of you as my Master rather than just a Jedi Master."

Obi-Wan looked at his frowning face and realized with a rush of fondness that Anakin was a lot more sensitive and thoughtful of other people's feelings than he'd been in the other life. Obi-Wan's padawan wouldn't have even noticed that he'd inadvertently hurt someone's feelings with his careless words. Growing up as a free civilian, away from the slavery on Tatooine and away from the Temple's rules, had clearly made Anakin a better person.

Obi-Wan was glad that his interference into Anakin's life had done _some_ good. Because lately it seemed like it had all been for nothing: Anakin was still a Jedi, he was going to be known as the Chosen One and attract Sidious's attention once again. It really felt like it had all been for nothing.

"Master?" Anakin walked to him and took his hand. Blue eyes peered at him. "I know you're worried, but I'll be careful, I promise."

Obi-Wan stared at that precious, dear face and couldn't find words. How could he begin to explain to Anakin that the mere thought of letting Sidious anywhere near him made him sick with irrational fear and dread?

Sidious had been able to steal Anakin's loyalty from him so effortlessly last time--so effortlessly that it was terrifying. Anakin had seemed as kind and loyal as ever before Obi-Wan had left for Utapau; Obi-Wan would have never believed that Anakin would turn into a mass murderer by the time he returned. It had seemed unthinkable--just as it seemed unthinkable that this Anakin would betray him.

But if Sidious had been able to sway his former padawan, why wouldn't he be able to sway this Anakin too?

Rationally, Obi-Wan knew that the situations were different. Anakin knew what a monster Sidious was, knew not to trust him. But what his brain knew _rationally_ had no effect on how he felt.

"Obi-Wan?"

Only when he saw a grimace of pain on Anakin's face did Obi-Wan realize that he was squeezing Anakin's hand too hard. He relaxed his grip but didn't let go.

Couldn't.

At this moment, it didn't matter that he'd spent the past few days avoiding Anakin like the plague for a reason. It didn't matter that he had been resolved to keep himself away from Anakin.

Obi-Wan _couldn't_ let go, feeling like a starved man scared of his food being snatched away any moment now.

He took half a step that separated them, pulled Anakin's face down to him and kissed him hard. Anakin's moan was too loud--any passerby could probably hear it--but Obi-Wan couldn't bring himself to care, couldn't bring himself to stop, kissing him greedily, possessively, his mind quickly clouding with desire, his body hard and aching with want so overwhelming that Obi-Wan felt like crawling inside this boy and never getting out.

When he finally let Anakin breathe, Obi-Wan stared at his flushed, beloved face, already missing him. "I don't want Sidious anywhere near you."

Anakin sighed and, pulling Obi-Wan closer, hugged his rigid body. "You won't lose me, Obi-Wan," he said softly. "You're being irrational, Master."

Obi-Wan knew he was.

But ever since Anakin had been accepted into the Order again, Obi-Wan had been having the dreams again.

Dreams of yellow eyes looking at him with rage, betrayal, and hatred, as the boy he'd once raised burned alive, screaming _I HATE YOU._

Dreams filled with fire, pain, and heartbreak.

Dreams that made him wake up in the middle of the night with his chest tight and his eyes wet.

"I'm here," Anakin said, running his hands through Obi-Wan's hair. "I'm here, Master. I'll never leave you."

Obi-Wan slid his arms down Anakin's back before _crushing_ the boy to him. He buried his face in Anakin's neck and breathed.

And breathed.

_He will not take you from me again._

_I will not let him._


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin has to navigate between Palpatine, Qui-Gon, and his two Masters. There's a Force vision, cuddling and sex, not necessarily in that order.

* * *

* * *

Master Windu had been right. It hadn't even been five days since the start of the rumors of him being the Chosen One when the Supreme Chancellor invited him for tea.

Anakin went to him with a heavy heart. No, he wasn't afraid. It was Obi-Wan. Anakin worried for him. His Master had taken the news of this invitation...badly. Anakin could feel Obi-Wan's anxiety and anger through their bond _despite_ Obi-Wan's mental shields and the distance between them. Kark, he could only imagine how stressed Obi-Wan must be behind those shields. Anakin had tried talking to Obi-Wan, to calm him down, but his Master had been avoiding him again.

It hurt; Anakin couldn't deny that. He'd thought... he'd thought Obi-Wan finally accepted that they were in a relationship after what happened on his birthday, but apparently he had been wrong.

Anakin sighed. Maybe he shouldn't have been so pushy. But kark it, he had been so frustrated with Obi-Wan's distance and refusal to admit that he wanted him as much as Anakin did.

"You look upset, my boy."

Anakin flinched, berating himself for thinking about Obi-Wan when he shouldn't have been.

Reinforcing his mental shields, Anakin met Palpatine's kind, interested gaze. Truth be told, it was hard to believe that this seemingly genial, grandfatherly man was an evil Sith Lord that had destroyed the Jedi Order in Obi-Wan's other life. After an hour in this man's company, Anakin could actually see how the other Anakin might have fallen for this kind act. It was pretty scary how easily he could see it, actually.

Anakin shrugged sullenly. "Just remembered something the Council said." Master Windu had advised him to play up his frustration with the Council.

"Oh?" Palpatine said sympathetically. He shook his head. "I have to say I am not impressed by how the Council handled this issue. They should not have tried to hide your status as the Chosen One."

"They tried to hide it even from me!" Anakin said sulkily, crossing his arms over his chest. "I wouldn't have found out about it at all if the press didn't learn about it!"

He hoped he wasn't overdoing it, but according to Obi-Wan, the other Anakin had a penchant for sulking and acting as if the whole world was against him. Truth be told, Anakin was guilty of the former, too, but he couldn't say he could relate to the latter. He didn't feel wronged or slighted by the Council or anyone else.

For the most part, he was content with his life as a Jedi. The Temple already felt like home. Obviously it helped immensely that he could feel Obi-Wan so close, his presence comforting and familiar, but he'd also made quite a few friends among his peers. And then there was of course Master Windu, who had been gradually becoming a father figure Anakin had never really had.

So yes, he liked being a Jedi. He felt at home in the Temple.

But for Palpatine's sake, Anakin tried to come up with things that would have likely bothered him if he were younger and more emotionally unstable. He needed his act to be believable.

"I feel so alone sometimes," Anakin said in his most whiney voice, dropping his gaze. "Master is so stern! He doesn't understand that I have emotions!"

And it went on like this.

By the time Anakin finally left Palpatine's office, he felt like he'd just performed a badly written role that was an overblown, overdramatic version of himself. He felt vaguely dirty and disgusted, but he managed to keep the act until he finally got into his speeder. Once he was inside it, Anakin put his hands on the steering wheel and breathed out, fighting the wave of nausea.

What he'd just done _wasn't_ wrong. The end justified the means. Palpatine was responsible for the destruction of the Order. He was responsible for the deaths of thousands of people. He was responsible for the haunted, dark look that sometimes appeared in Obi-Wan's eyes. Anakin knew all of that.

Then why was he shaking so badly? Why did he _feel_ like he'd done something wrong? Why did it feel like he'd just rolled himself in the mud and something dark and unpleasant was still clinging to him?

Sith's hell, he wanted Obi-Wan. He wanted his Master.

Anakin couldn't remember getting to the Temple, but he must have. Master Windu and Obi-Wan were already waiting for him in their quarters.

"How did it go, Padawan?" Mace said harshly, his gaze sweeping over Anakin, as if searching for injuries.

Any other time, Anakin would have been touched. But that cloying darkness at the edge of his mental shields made it difficult for him to appreciate Mace's concern. He felt... annoyed? Why was his Master so overbearing? Couldn't Anakin go outside the Temple without reporting everything he did to the Jedi?

Anakin shook his head, trying to shake off these weird thoughts.

"It went well," Anakin croaked out."I think. I think he bought it. By the end of the meeting, he said I can come to him whenever I want, anytime I want."

He could feel Master Windu relax.

He could also feel that Obi-Wan was still tense like a taut string, just staring at Anakin. The pull of his mind felt like gravity to Anakin. Force, he _needed_. Needed his Master's arms around him, his scent in his nostrils, his Force signature around him, in him. He needed Obi-Wan's warm, calming presence to erase the strange, inexplicable unease and distrust he felt for no reason.

"I think he did something to me," Anakin said, swallowing. "I feel strange. Annoyed. Uneasy. Like I did something bad by lying to Palpatine. Like I shouldn't trust the Jedi, especially my Master."

He could feel a spike of concern coming from his Force bond to Master Windu, but it was nothing compared to the torrent of fear, fury, and protectiveness that came from his bond to Obi-Wan.

His nostrils flaring, Obi-Wan took a few steps toward Anakin before coming to an abrupt halt with a glance at the Korun. "Anakin isn't going back," he bit out. "This is too dangerous."

"I agree that it's dangerous," Mace said, sighing heavily. "But it did work. And if Anakin recognized that he's being influenced, that's a good thing, Obi-Wan." His lips thinned. "Do you think Palpatine influenced your padawan that way, too? That would certainly explain a lot, especially if Palpatine started doing it when your padawan was still too untrained and young to notice anything amiss."

Anakin wondered if Master Windu noticed the raw pain and guilt that flared in Obi-Wan's Force signature before he hastily released them into the Force.

Anakin winced, wishing he could comfort Obi-Wan. The problem was, he didn't feel in any state of mind to comfort anyone; he wanted to be comforted and told that _everything would be all right, dear one._

He wanted to hear those words so badly at that moment that it felt like a physical need.

But with Master Windu in the room, the few short feet between Anakin and Obi-Wan might as well be light years. They couldn't communicate through the bond, either; not when Anakin shared a training bond with Master Windu too, and there was the risk of him overhearing something he shouldn't.

He could only stare at Obi-Wan longingly, and his Master stared back, need pulsing through their bond like a tangible thing.

Finally, Anakin dragged his eyes away and cleared his throat. "If you'll excuse me, Masters, I'll go meditate to get rid of Palpatine's influence."

Master Windu nodded.

Bowing to the Jedi Masters slightly, Anakin headed to his room.

Mace's hand on his shoulder stopped him. "Anakin? If you cannot do it on your own, let me know and I'll assist you in your meditation."

Feeling a rush of fondness for him, Anakin smiled at the Korun weakly. "Thank you, Master. But I'm sure I'll manage."

***

Anakin couldn't sleep. He tossed and turned in his bed for hours before finally giving up and slipping out of their quarters. He could feel through their bond that Master Windu was sleep. He could also feel that Obi-Wan wasn't.

The Temple was quiet at night.

He walked aimlessly until his feet brought him to the familiar door.

Anakin stared at it before finally finding the courage to knock. He had sworn to himself that he wouldn't be pushy with Obi-Wan again, but kark it, he couldn't be alone, not tonight. Although meditation had gotten him rid of the negative emotions Palpatine's had planted in him, his unease remained.

He needed Obi-Wan. He would be happy even if Obi-Wan just allowed him to stay in a room with him. Feeling him close would be enough.

When the door opened, Anakin blinked, unprepared for the sight of a tall, long-haired man looking at him curiously.

"Yes, Padawan?" he said, with a puzzled little frown.

It took Anakin a moment to recognize him. It was Qui-Gon Jinn, Obi-Wan's former Master. It was the first time Anakin saw him in person; he'd been away on some mission for ages.

"Eh," Anakin said intelligently. He was at a loss how he was supposed to explain to Qui-Gon why he'd come to a Jedi Master's room well after midnight--a Jedi Master who wasn't his own Master.

Thankfully Obi-Wan's voice called out, "Who is it, Master?"

"It's some boy," Qui-Gon replied, still looking at Anakin. "A padawan."

"Anakin?" Obi-Wan materialized in the doorway so fast it didn't seem real. His blue-gray eyes swept over Anakin intently. "Is everything all right?"

Anakin felt himself flush under their probing gazes. What could he say without sounding like a needy child?

"Anakin? Anakin Skywalker?" Qui-Gon said before he could say anything. His eyebrows crept up, his eyes lighting up with interest. "The Chosen One?"

Something dark flashed across Obi-Wan's face as he glanced at his old Master. "This is Mace's padawan," he said curtly. But his eyes softened when he returned them to Anakin. "Is anything amiss, Padawan?"

Anakin carefully opened his side of the bond. _Couldn't sleep. I wanted you, Master._

Obi-Wan's shoulders visibly stiffened, his gaze sharpening. He stared at Anakin for a moment before taking Anakin's arm and pulling him inside the room. "Come in."

Anakin could sense Qui-Gon's puzzlement, but he didn't care. All that mattered right now was how close Obi-Wan was. It felt like a balm on his raw nerves, Obi-Wan's Force signature reaching out to wrap around his, warm and soothing.

Obi-Wan led him to the couch and made him sit down before taking the seat next to him.

Qui-Gon sat in the armchair and picked up a drink from the table between them.

They had been drinking together, Anakin realized.

Obi-Wan picked up his own drink and took a sip. "So, what about those pirates, Master?" he said pointedly.

It took Qui-Gon a moment before he launched into a rather confusing and crazy tale, which was apparently his last Jedi mission. All the while, Qui-Gon kept shooting Obi-Wan inquisitive looks, which his former padawan studiously ignored.

Anakin completely relaxed as he realized that Qui-Gon wasn't going to ask anything aloud. Little by little, he found himself leaning into Obi-Wan's side, until he was completely tucked under Obi-Wan's outstretched arm on the back of the couch. Sleepily, Anakin wondered what Qui-Gon thought of it, but since Obi-Wan didn't seem bothered, Anakin decided not to, either.

Anakin felt the last of his tension disappear as he listened to his Master's low, familiar voice as Obi-Wan talked to Qui-Gon. He closed his eyes, feeling more content and safe than he'd felt in ages. He missed having such quiet, companionable evenings with his Master. He missed this so much.

He didn't remember drifting away. Through his doze, he could still hear them.

"Who is this boy, Obi-Wan?"

"I already told you who he was."

"Obi-Wan."

"Qui-Gon."

" _Padawan_ , don't you dare mock me. Why is this boy in your rooms in the middle of the night?"

"Anakin has been through a difficult ordeal lately. He is stressed and needs help."

"Why has he come for help to you and not his Master? He is sleeping in _your arms_ , Obi-Wan. What's going on here?"

There was silence for a while.

At last, Obi-Wan said simply, "He needs me, and I can't turn him away."

Another silence.

"I hope you know what you're doing, Padawan."

Obi-Wan laughed softly. "I hope so too," he said before laying a hand on Anakin's forehead and pushing the feelings of _safety, comfort, sleep_ inside him.

Anakin smiled contentedly and fell into a deeper sleep.

***

Anakin wasn't sure what woke him up.

He stared at the ceiling, feeling pain and grief that weren't his own.

It took him a moment to realize where he was.

Obi-Wan's bedroom.

His Master was seated on the meditation rug on the floor, his eyes closed. He was clearly meditating, but his expression was far from serene. He was the source of pain and guilt he was feeling, Anakin realized.

"Master?"

Obi-Wan opened his eyes, his pained expression fading as his gaze focused on him. "Anakin? Why aren't you asleep?"

Anakin stared at that beloved face, into those tired, troubled eyes. Slipping off the bed, he padded to Obi-Wan, straddled his lap, and gave him a tight hug.

Obi-Wan was stiff against him for a moment before his arms wrapped around him just as tightly.

Anakin didn't ask him why he was so troubled. He had an inkling what that was about. Obi-Wan had likely been thinking about why he hadn't noticed Palpatine's corrupting influence on his padawan and blaming himself, as usual.

Anakin didn't bother telling him that it wasn't Obi-Wan's fault. He knew it wouldn't change anything.

Instead, he buried his face against Obi-Wan's bare throat, breathing in his scent, and said, "Let's go to bed."

Obi-Wan's muscles went rigid. "I do not think it is a good idea, Anakin."

"Why? We shared bed for ages."

'"You are not sixteen anymore," Obi-Wan said tightly.

"Precisely," Anakin said, pulling back a little to look Obi-Wan in the eye. "I'm legal, Master. An adult. And I'm making an adult choice."

Obi-Wan's jaw clenched, but the hunger and yearning in his eyes betrayed him.

Sensing a weakness in his armor, Anakin looped his arms around Obi-Wan's neck and whispered, "We might die any day, Master. Won't you regret it if I die and--"

An inhuman sound left Obi-Wan's mouth before he slammed their lips together. Anakin moaned, kissing back eagerly and sucking Obi-Wan's tongue into his mouth.

" _Be quiet, Anakin_ ," Obi-Wan told him through the bond even as he got to his feet with Anakin wrapped around him. " _Qui-Gon is sleeping in the adjoining room."_

Anakin didn't care. Part of him liked the thought: that Obi-Wan wanted him so much that even his former Master's presence nearby didn't stop him. He tugged off his tunic before tugging off Obi-Wan's, his hands greedily sliding over all that skin and muscle, reveling in the contrast between the smooth flesh and scars. This was a body of a man. A warrior.

He gasped against Obi-Wan's mouth when his back hit the mattress and their bare chests pressed together. Force, it felt so good, being surrounded by his Master everywhere: in his mouth, in his mind, over him, against him. It was overwhelmingly good, and Anakin was only vaguely aware of whines and moans that slipped out of his mouth as Obi-Wan's parted lips trailed down his neck, his chest, Obi-Wan's beard creating a delicious contrast with his soft lips.

When that beard rubbed against his inner thigh, Anakin cried out, uncaring if Qui-Gon--kark, the entire Temple--could hear him.

When Obi-Wan's lips wrapped around his cock, Anakin almost came on the spot but Obi-Wan gripped the base of his erection, stopping him.

Anakin groaned in disappointment, but then  
Obi-Wan's tongue was licking him _there_ , between his cheeks, pressing inside him. And Anakin absolutely lost it. Grabbing Obi-Wan's head, he pushed his Master's face against his opening. Low, unintelligible sounds slipped out of his panting mouth as his Master ate him out, his tongue doing absolutely wicked things to his sensitive hole. It felt so good that Anakin lost all sense of time, his world narrowing to his Master's tongue and beard scraping against his buttocks, his Master's fingers stretching him carefully for his tongue.

He whined when Obi-Wan suddenly stopped and pulled back. He was so damn empty. He needed that tongue back.

But then he felt Obi-Wan settle between his legs and push them open with his hips.

Oh Force, it was finally happening.

Anakin watched dazedly as his Master took his erection and slicked it with some oil, Obi-Wan's gaze dark and hungry.

"We can still stop, Anakin," Obi-Wan said, his voice barely recognizable.

"Don't you dare," Anakin said, spreading his legs wantonly and looking Obi-Wan in the eye. "I want you, Master."

Anakin felt a ripple in the Force, and then Obi-Wan was pushing inside him. Oh. _Oh_.

Anakin looked into Obi-Wan's eyes as he was slowly filled up with his cock. It felt beyond intimate, on multiple levels. The bond between them was going _crazy_ , and Anakin could only hope Master Windu wouldn't wake up from this. What would his Jedi Master say if he knew that right now his padawan was taking his fellow Council member's cock? The thought was deliciously naughty, and Anakin groaned, impaling himself on Obi-Wan's cock.

"Stop thinking about Mace, Anakin," Obi-Wan grated out. "You're ruining the mood."

Anakin laughed--Obi-Wan's jealousy was adorable; Mace Windu was more of a father figure to him. 

He pulled Obi-Wan's head down to press their foreheads together. "He might be my Master too, but he isn't the one with his cock in me," he whispered against Obi-Wan's mouth. "I'm yours, Master. In every life."

Obi-Wan shuddered and his hips finally started moving.

Anakin could only pant, slowly losing himself to the incredible feeling of being stretched to the limit and taken. Obi-Wan's cock felt so good in him, thick and perfect, even better than he'd imagined. Anakin was only vaguely aware of the broken, inhuman sounds he was making, of Obi-Wan's low grunts as he moved on top of him, their bond a feedback loop of pleasure and need.

Force, it felt like he'd waited years for this--and he had, hiding his feelings from his Master, knowing that they would freak Obi-Wan out when he'd been fifteen. But now, finally, Obi-Wan was his, his, only his--

 _Mine_ , echoed in his mind. His padawan, his heart, his brother, his soul, his precious boy, his _Anakin_.

It took Anakin a moment to realize that those were Obi-Wan's thoughts, not his. He could feel how good he felt around Obi-Wan's cock, how badly Obi-Wan wanted him, how badly Obi-Wan wanted to wreck him. _He was so pretty under him, his Anakin, flushed and wanton, coming apart on his cock. Obi-Wan slammed into him, harder and harder--Anakin, Anakin, Anakin--_

Force, the dual pleasure was too much, and Anakin came, crying out and clinging to Obi-Wan's back. His orgasm triggered his Master's, and with a growl, Obi-Wan came too and collapsed on top of him, breathing hard.

Silence fell over them, their bond humming with contentment, peace, and overwhelming affection.

Smiling happily, Anakin felt himself drift off again.

Everything was perfect. He and Obi-Wan belonged together.

Nothing could ruin this.

***

Anakin dreamed.

He dreamed of yellow eyes filled with hatred, rage, and pain.

He dreamed of a purple lightsaber clashing against a blue one.

He dreamed of terror the likes of which he'd never felt.

He dreamed of begging, " _Master, no!"_

He woke up with his heart in his throat, his body shaking and sweat running down his forehead.

Turning his head, Anakin stared at Obi-Wan's peaceful face beside him, and slowly, breathed out.

It was just a dream. Just a stupid nightmare.

Squirming closer to the man he loved, Anakin slung his arm around him and held on.

Just a dream.

_But was it?_


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Mace Windu's attachment to his padawan is tested, Sidious is being Sidious, and Anakin saves the day.

* * *

* * *

"Troubled, you are."

Mace flinched and looked away from his padawan to Yoda.

The old grandmaster wasn't looking at him, but at Anakin, who was performing Vaapad katas on his own. "Great progress, your padawan has made. Impressed, all his teachers are. Yet troubles you something."

Mace pursed his lips. Yes, he was worried, but it wasn't something he could share with Yoda--another thing he couldn't share with him, as if the Sidious issue wasn't enough.

He could hardly tell the Grandmaster of the Jedi Order that he had barely slept last night thanks to the...violent outburst of feelings he had felt through the Force bond to his padawan.

Mace glared at the padawan in question, his face uncomfortably warm. Last night, he had wanted to _kill_ the boy. And yet he hadn't been able to say a word when he saw how happy Anakin was in the morning.

It was unacceptable... this _attachment_ to this shameless boy. While Mace had been fond of Depa, he had been able to maintain his distance between them, as was proper for a master-padawan pair. His new padawan was far more disrespectful, stubborn, and arrogant than Depa, and yet...

The boy was just so _earnest_. And so very bright in the Force. And very affectionate and caring.

Sith's hell. Mace had always criticized the Jedi who treated their padawans as if they were their children. Now he was one of them. It was utterly revolting.

But it wasn't attachment alone that troubled him. Attachment by itself, while worrisome, wouldn't have been so troubling.

Mace was worried that he was letting his attachment to the boy cloud his judgment.

The boy was hiding something from him. Someone. At first Mace had been just irritated that the brat wasn't bothering to shield his thoughts, subjecting Mace to his sexual activities. He had thought Anakin was just having a meaningless physical encounter with another padawan, which was something that happened all the time at Anakin's age. While not strictly allowed, the Council usually turned a blind eye to such indiscretions among the padawans.

But the boy seemed too happy this morning for this to be just a meaningless sexual encounter. Not to mention that Anakin hadn't seemed interested in any of his peers that way. He had quite a few friends, but Mace hadn't noticed his padawan paying anyone that kind of attention.

In fact, the only person Anakin looked at with anything similar to infatuation was...

Mace pursed his lips and once again told himself not to be ridiculous. Just because he didn't like how close Anakin was to Obi-Wan, it didn't mean Master Kenobi would seduce a padawan half his age. The mere idea was preposterous. Mace was allowing the...dislike he felt for Obi-Wan to cloud his judgment.

The fact that he felt such dislike was distasteful enough. It wasn't the Jedi way, and yet Mace couldn't deny that he _detested_ hearing Anakin call Obi-Wan Master even when it was appropriate to do so. One should not feel possessive over one's padawan. Especially when said padawan was an insolent brat who--

"Master, I think I'm ready to spar now!"

Nodding to Yoda, Mace strode toward Anakin. "Let's see," he said, studying Anakin's mental state critically. Few knew it, but mental state was the most important aspect of Vaapad. Anakin felt determined in the Force, his emotions simmering under his skin, but carefully controlled.

Mace nodded in approval and Anakin gave him a pleased, proud smile. Mace scowled, annoyed by the wave of fondness that smile caused. What had this brat done to him?

"Let's see how long you will last against me, Padawan," Mace said in a clipped voice, igniting his lightsaber.

Anakin grinned, and attacked.

***

Five months after the start of Anakin's "friendship" with Palpatine, Anakin had a vision of his mother's death.

If Obi-Wan hadn't been with him that night, Anakin didn't know how he would have reacted. But Obi-Wan's calming, warm presence lessened his panic considerably.

"Listen to me," Obi-Wan said, cradling Anakin's face. "This may not be a real vision, Anakin. It must be Palpatine's doing. He must be trying to manipulate you."

Anakin stared at him, looking into Obi-Wan's worried eyes before sagging against Obi-Wan's chest and hugging him tightly. "It felt so real," he said hoarsely. "My mother was sick, really sick, something incurable and deadly, and I couldn't do anything to save her."

Obi-Wan sighed, stroking his naked back. "Before she died, Padmé told me that the other you had visions of her death and got obsessed with the notion of saving her. I believe Palpatine somehow convinced my padawan that he would be able to save her if Anakin joined him."

"So you think the vision isn't true?" Anakin said, thinking of the other vision--a dream?--he had all those months ago, one he hadn't told Obi-Wan about. That vision had been a lot more confusing and disjointed than this one. Which of the visions was real? Both? Neither?

"I believe so," Obi-Wan said, sighing. "Even if it is a true vision, Force visions are fickle, Anakin. They cannot be trusted. For example, my padawan's very actions to stop his vision led to his vision coming true. It is very dangerous to act on such visions. The future is always in motion."

Anakin didn't really agree, but Obi-Wan's words did manage to dispel some of his fear. "If it's really Palpatine who created that vision, you know what that means, Obi-Wan."

Obi-Wan's arm tightened around Anakin's back. He said nothing.

"He expects me to be panicked enough to come to him and tell him about my vision."

"Yes," Obi-Wan said tonelessly. "It appears so."

"Then I should tell Master about my vision," Anakin said. "He'll want to be informed before I go to Sidious."

"You _will not_ confront Sidious, Anakin. Not alone."

Anakin sighed exasperatedly and pulled back. "You know I have to, Obi-Wan. This is why I've been pretending to be his friend, remember? He'll likely tell me that he has the power to save my mother, tell me that he's a Sith! This is what we've been waiting for!"

Obi-Wan's jaw clenched. "And you think you can handle him alone when he reveals that he is a Sith? You are an eighteen-year-old padawan. He is an immensely powerful Sith Lord."

Anakin glared at him, feeling a little offended and hurt by Obi-Wan's continued treatment of him as a child. "All I need is proof of his crimes. I will record our conversation and then leave."

Obi-Wan didn't look convinced in the least. "Things rarely go according to plan, Anakin. Not to mention that this plan has always been pure insanity! Getting Palpatine admit that he's a Sith would not be enough. You likely would have to pretend to--to become his apprentice until he trusts you enough to reveal his plans. You would not be able to _pretend_ to be a Darksider. Sidious would not be fooled by your act--unless you really Fall. You would only lose yourself trying to bring him down."

Anakin scoffed, looking away. "If worse comes to worst, I can use some darker Vaapad methods to fool Sidious into thinking that I'm on the verge of Falling. Master has taught me how to do it. Master trusts that I can handle myself."

When Obi-Wan didn't say anything, Anakin looked back at him. He found Obi-Wan's face terribly blank.

"What?" Anakin said, his eyebrows drawing together.

"Nothing," Obi-Wan said, without meeting his gaze. "We should go back to sleep. Or better yet, you should go to your own room. Your Master might finally discover that you barely sleep in your room. Frankly, I am surprised that he hasn't yet."

Anakin frowned. There was some unpleasant feeling lingering around Obi-Wan in the Force, some dark emotion Anakin couldn't quite identify.

It wasn't the first time Anakin had noticed it. That emotion seemed to come and go but had appeared more frequently lately.

"Tell me what is wrong," Anakin said.

"There is nothing wrong," Obi-Wan repeated, slipping between the sheets. "Turn the lights off on the way out, Anakin." With that, Obi-Wan turned his back to Anakin and seemingly went to sleep.

Anakin stared at his back, at a loss, before slowly getting out of the bed and reaching for his clothes.

He didn't remember getting to his room, but he must have, because the next thing he was aware of, he was sitting on his own bed, alone, looking at his hands.

He didn't kriffing understand Obi-Wan sometimes. They were finally so _happy_. Why did Obi-Wan have to ruin it by shutting him out for seemingly no reason?

Anakin tried to remember what exactly he'd said that might have upset Obi-Wan, but he couldn't. His mind was still hazy and distracted after the nightmare, and the feelings of comfort and security he'd received from Obi-Wan were quickly fading.

What if Obi-Wan was wrong and the vision was real?

Anakin pursed his lips. Then he stood and headed to his Master's room.

He knocked. It was late, and he could sense that Mace was asleep, but he knew that the Korun wouldn't turn him away. He would grouch and scowl, but he never did.

Sure enough, Mace was scowling deeply when he finally opened the door. "What is it, Padawan?" he grumbled, running a hand over his eyes as he stepped aside to let Anakin inside.

Anakin walked toward the window and stared at the Coruscanti skyline. At the Senate's building in the distance.

"I just had a vision. Of my mother being terminally ill. Master Obi-Wan thinks it could be a fake vision sent by Sidious."

There was silence for a while.

"You already told about your vision to Master Kenobi," Mace stated at last, his voice flat. "In the middle of the night."

Anakin grimaced, his face growing warm. Kark. Had he given them away? At times like this, he almost thought his Master knew about him and Obi-Wan. But he _couldn't_ know, right? Right? He wouldn't be silent about it.

"I could sense he was awake," Anakin said in a stilted voice. Force, he hated lying to his Master. "I knew you were asleep, Master, so I went to him first."

Another silence.

At last, Mace sighed. "I suppose if you decided to wake me up regardless, Obi-Wan wasn't much of a help to you?"

"He thinks I shouldn't go to Sidious. That it's too dangerous." Anakin scoffed and turned around. "It's so stupid. That's what we've been waiting for, isn't it?"

Master Windu made a contemplative sound, a thoughtful expression on his face. He pinched the bridge of his nose. "You are correct, but I'm afraid Obi-Wan will never see it that way. His past--his fears--are blinding him. They are making him irrational. Frankly, I think he is too emotionally compromised to be making any decisions in this situation."

Anakin frowned. He felt bad for thinking that, but he couldn't say he disagreed. Obi-Wan was the most intelligent man he had ever met, but he could be completely irrational when it came to Sidious and Anakin. No matter what Anakin said, he didn't seem to be able to completely erase Obi-Wan's fears.

"Are you suggesting we shouldn't consult with Master Obi-Wan before acting?" Anakin said, uncertainly. "That doesn't feel right."

His Master's lips pursed unhappily. "I don't like it, either, Anakin, but we don't have much of a choice. The shatterpoints around Obi-Wan are very troubling."

Anakin stared at him. "What do you mean? What shatterpoints?"

Mace shook his head. "They are vague and difficult to interpret, but I can sense that he is on the verge of doing something potentially disastrous. Perhaps it would be better if we do not risk it and keep him out of it." He glanced at his watch. "It will be dawn in four hours. Get some sleep. You need to be well-rested when you go to Sidious in the morning."

Anakin bit his lip. The contrast between Obi-Wan's overprotectiveness and his Master's confidence in him was so jarring. He wasn't sure which he loved more. Part of him _loved_ being the focus of Obi-Wan's protectiveness, but he couldn't deny that having Mace's confidence in him made his chest full with pride, too. He just wished... he just wished Obi-Wan had a little more faith in him, and Master Mace a little less.

Because he was scared. He was scared of letting them down--again.

"What if I make a mistake?" Anakin whispered, crossing his arms over his chest and looking at his boots. "Another costly mistake that would kill a lot of people?"

"It wasn't your fault, Padawan," Mace said gruffly. "You couldn't have known that your program would kill the clones."

"I was arrogant," Anakin managed, thinking of how proud of himself he had been for creating a program that would deactivate the chip in the clones. But when they had tested it on Kamino, the Clones' programming had suffered some kind of failure, making it obvious to the Kamino scientists that someone was tampering with them. In the end, Master Windu and Obi-Wan had had no choice but to blow the factory up to cover their tracks. Obi-Wan had been able to leave a false trail leading to the Hutts thanks to his numerous connections, so it was unlikely Sidious was suspicious, but it was a small comfort.

All those people were now dead because of him--because Anakin had been wrong.

Mace sighed. He walked over and pulled Anakin close. Anakin sagged against him and closed his eyes, letting his Master's Force signature envelop him. It felt good, in a different way from Obi-Wan, but still good and comforting, his Master's belief in him soothing his anxiety and guilt.

"We all make mistakes," Mace said quietly. "And maybe it wasn't humane to kill the clones, but is death really worse than being a mindless slave of a Sith Lord? They became part of the Force. They wouldn't have lived a normal life, Anakin."

"I know," Anakin said hoarsely. "Anything is better than slavery. But I still wish... I'm so scared, Master. Of making another costly mistake. Maybe Master Obi-Wan is right and I shouldn't go to Sidious alone."

Mace pulled back and tipped Anakin's chin up, forcing him to look him in the eye. "Do not let your fears rule you," he said harshly. "If you make mistakes, so be it, but letting your fears rule you is the greatest mistake you could make. Don't make it, Padawan. You are better than that."

"Am I?" Anakin said with a twisted little smile.

Mace glared at him. "Yes, you are. I may not have known you as long as Obi-Wan has, but you have earned my trust, Anakin, and my trust isn't easily earned."

Anakin gave him a more genuine smile, his heart a little lighter. "Thank you, Master," he said, bowing his head. "I will not let you down." _Either of you._

He returned to his room significantly calmer and fell asleep almost immediately.

***

Cloaked in the Force, Obi-Wan watched the door to Palpatine's apartment.

He waited, trying to ignore the way his eyes hurt from lack of sleep.

He didn't have much time left. It would be dawn soon. If he knew Anakin, it wouldn't be long before he arrived. Although he had told Anakin not to go to Sidious, of course Anakin wouldn't listen. He never did.

_He listens to his Master._

Obi-Wan clenched his jaw, trying to push the bitter thought away.

It was difficult, because it was true. In the past half a year since Anakin had become Master Windu's padawan, Obi-Wan had noticed the gradual shift in Anakin's behavior: he had started calling Obi-Wan "Master" less and less until the word completely dropped out of his vocabulary if Anakin wasn't addressing Mace.

It _shouldn't_ have mattered. It was illogical that it did. In this life, he wasn't Anakin's Master. In this life, he and Anakin had a relationship far more intimate than that between a Master and a padawan.

And yet...

Watching Anakin flourish under Master Windu's guidance made something painful and bitter coil in Obi-Wan's stomach. It made it clear that it really had been Obi-Wan's incompetence as a Master that was to blame for the birth of Darth Vader in his original life. Hearing Anakin call Mace _Master_ was just another reminder of his failure.

 _I will not fail you again_ , Obi-Wan thought grimly. He may not be Anakin's Master in this life, but he was going to protect him this time. He would keep Anakin safe, whether Anakin wanted it or not--whether it compromised the Republic or not.

A part of him, the distant, small part that still clung to the Jedi Code, was ashamed of how far he had fallen. A true Jedi would never put a single individual before the good of the Republic.

Perhaps he wasn't a Jedi anymore.

The thought was... unsettling, but not completely surprising, if Obi-Wan was honest with himself. After all, he had been living a double life and lying to the Jedi Council for nearly a decade. Yes, his intentions might have been good, but did it change anything?

A true Jedi would never risk everything--his own life, the Jedi Order's reputation, the safety of the Republic--for a padawan he was in an illicit relationship with.

But even his guilt hadn't shaken his resolve. Although Obi-Wan did feel ashamed, it appeared that he was not ashamed enough to give up this utterly reckless, insane plan.

His padawan would have been proud.

The thought made Obi-Wan's throat thicken with emotion. Anakin. The _Jedi Knight_ Anakin, his reckless former padawan, brother, and best friend, would have approved of this course of action.

That should probably tell him how utterly insane this plan was. Rationally, Obi-Wan was well aware of that. The likelihood of him killing Sidious on his own was...quite low. Obi-Wan had considered killing Sidious numerous times over the years--considered and dismissed that option every time. Not only was it not the Jedi way, but the likelihood of somehow killing Sidious--and killing him without making it look like he was assassinated by the Jedi--was infinitesimal, considering Sidious's entourage and how powerful he was.

With the destruction of the Kamino factory, the threat of the Clones was gone now, so rationally, it made even less sense to act rashly. Obi-Wan knew that.

But in the end, none of those very logical reasons mattered.

He _couldn't_ allow Anakin to confront Sidious on his own--not when Obi-Wan knew how it had ended last time. Sidious was deviously smart. He would use Anakin's worst fears, his weaknesses--Anakin's loved ones--against him, manipulating Anakin so expertly Anakin wouldn't even notice anything until it was too late.

Because regardless of his efforts to calm Anakin down, Obi-Wan could feel that Anakin wasn't convinced that his vision wasn't real--that his mother's life wasn't really in danger. And that fear would be his downfall, just like in the other life. After all, the other Anakin had been kind and loyal too, but Sidious had still managed to turn him into a Sith and a murderer of children while Obi-Wan was doing his duty on Utapau.

Obi-Wan couldn't-- _wouldn't_ \--make the same mistake again. He would not let Sidious corrupt Anakin again. Deep down, Obi-Wan knew he would not recover from losing Anakin, not this time. In his previous life, he had barely managed to hold onto his sanity when he had lost his padawan and brother. In this world, where Anakin was his _life_ , losing Anakin would break him, shatter what little was left of his battered soul.

He hadn't been there for his padawan when it mattered. This time, he would be. This time, he wouldn't allow Sidious anywhere near Anakin. Obi-Wan had been against Mace's plan from the beginning, and now it was time to put an end to it. It was one thing to allow Anakin to visit Palpatine while the latter was pretending to be a harmless politician, but letting Anakin confront Darth Sidious _wasn't_ an option.

Unfortunately, it soon might become the reality if Obi-Wan didn't manage to get into Sidious's apartment before the dawn.

Frowning deeply, Obi-Wan eyed the front door. The security measures of the apartment were far beyond his skills. He did not know what to do.

Perhaps the Force had finally heard Obi-Wan's pleas, because at that moment, the door opened and a security guard emerged. Glancing around, the guard pulled out a smoking stick and lit it.

Pulling his hood to cover his face, Obi-Wan walked toward the guard, silencing his footsteps with the Force.

The guard turned his head, but it was too late: Obi-Wan already commanded him to go to sleep, and the guard dropped to the floor.

After a moment, Obi-Wan stunned the guard with his blaster. So uncivilized. But he had little choice, since he didn't want the authorities to suspect the Jedi's involvement. That was why he was wearing civilian clothes, too. If worse came to worst and he was recognized, he wanted people to think he was Ben Kenobi, a Trade Federation leader, not Obi-Wan Kenobi, a Jedi Master.

If he survived at all.

Releasing his doubts into the Force, Obi-Wan used the guard's keycard to enter the apartment.

It was ridiculously spacious, taking the entire floor of the massive building. There were unfamiliar male voices coming from the door to the left--from what Obi-Wan guessed was a security room.

There were two other guards inside it. They lifted their heads, their eyes widening.

"There is nothing suspicious about my presence here," Obi-Wan said, applying the Force into his voice.

"There is nothing suspicious about your presence here," the guards repeated blankly and turned away. Obi-Wan knocked them out with his blaster, grimacing once again.

Sighing, he looked at the security videos. It appeared there weren't any other guards in the apartment. Obi-Wan turned the cameras off and then headed toward Sidious's private rooms. They had not been on the security footage, so Obi-Wan could only hope there wouldn't be any unpleasant surprises there. He stretched out his senses, but the Force remained frustratingly clouded.

Pushing his unease away, Obi-Wan entered Sidious's rooms. They were as dark and quiet as the rest of the apartment.

Switching his lightsaber on, Obi-Wan moved deeper into the rooms.

Another door.

A four-poster bed.

Palpatine, sleeping peacefully in it.

Obi-Wan stared at the Sith, his heart pounding somewhere in his ears.

Could he really kill a sleeping, defenceless man?

 _He is no defenceless man,_ Obi-Wan told himself, a wave of toxic hatred washing over him as his most painful memories flashed to the forefront of his mind: hundreds of dead children in the Temple, the Force screaming in pain, Anakin's face full of hatred and rage as he burned alive--

"Curious. What curious emotions you have, Master Jedi."

Obi-Wan froze, his gaze snapping upwards.

Sidious's eyes were open now.

"Who would have thought the Jedi were capable of assassinating people in their sleep," the Sith said, flicking his hand and turning the lights on. He sat up and regarded Obi-Wan almost curiously, as if Obi-Wan hadn't intruded into his bedroom with an ignited lightsaber. "I can _feel_ your anger, Master Kenobi... your hatred... your fear... How very curious indeed."

Obi-Wan's jaw clenched.

"What have I done to you, Master Jedi?" Sidious said. "I do not think we have ever met before."

Suddenly, Sidious's eyes narrowed. He cocked his head to the side. "I sense a strange disturbance about you, as if you are...as if your mere existence is unnatural. As if you have two souls merged inside you, one older than the other."

Obi-Wan said nothing, disturbed by the Sith's perceptiveness.

Sidious's expression became _gleeful_. He leaned forward. "Are you from the future, perhaps? Are you from the future in which I already destroyed the Jedi? Is that why you hate me so much?"

Obi-Wan tried to release his anger into the Force but failed again. Sidious's gleeful tone was only feeding his rage.

"No," Sidious said thoughtfully, eyeing Obi-Wan. "Such vicious hatred can only be personal. No, I think I killed someone who was very special to you. Ironic. I thought Jedi did not feel attachment? But then again, you are not a Jedi, are you, Master Kenobi? I can feel how close to the Dark Side you are."

Obi-Wan remained silent, his grip on his lightsaber tightening.

Sidious smiled. "Let it in," he crooned. "It will feel good once you let it in. All your fears will be gone, and yours powers will become immense thanks to that burning hatred in you. Let it in, my boy."

A feral growl tore out of Obi-Wan's throat. _Is this how Sidious seduced Anakin to the Dark Side_?

His lightsaber slashed the place Sidious's gleeful face had been just a moment ago.

Cackling, Sidious jumped off the bed and summoned his lightsaber into his hand. "You think you are a match for me?" he goaded as their lightsabers clashed. "I am the greatest Sith Lord to ever live! Join me or die."

Obi-Wan could feel that he was right: Sidious _was_ far more skilled and powerful than him. There was no conceivable way that he could kill the Sith in a fair fight.

Soon, Obi-Wan was entirely on the defensive, but even his flawless Soresu struggled against Sidious's formidable style that was a combination of all Forms.

"Let the hate flow through you," Sidious goaded, cornering Obi-Wan. "You have all this _delicious_ anger, but you do not use it. What a pity. You would have made an excellent apprentice if I did not have my sights set on your Chosen One already. I shall have him soon."

Obi-Wan's vision went red-- _NEVER NEVER NEVER-_ -and an enormous Force lightning erupted out of his fingers and hit Sidious in the chest.

Everything went white, the Force raging inside him like an unstoppable tornado, wrecking years and years of self-control.

 _Flash-_ -Sidious's eyes filled with horror-- _Flash_ \--Sidious's face distorting and melting-- _Flash-_ -Sidious body, falling to the floor, blackened, and lifeless.

Obi-Wan's knees gave out, his whole body shaking. He breathed raggedly, trying to think, trying to make sense of what had happened, but he couldn't. It was as though his body was no longer his own, a strange, sickeningly strong rush spreading through it.

Someone was laughing hoarsely, and it took Obi-Wan a moment to realize that it was him--so foreign and strange that laughter sounded.

"What in the... Obi-Wan?"

Dazedly, Obi-Wan lifted his head and stared at Mace Windu, who stood in the doorway.

There was something like horror in the Korun's eyes, but there was also something like sadness and resignation.

Mace sighed and ignited his lightsaber. "I feared that it would come to this, but I hoped that it wouldn't."

Obi-Wan's eyes narrowed. He rose to his feet and lifted his lightsaber. A small, distant part of him was trying to tell him that he should stop, that he should not fight Master Windu, but that voice was easily squashed by another voice, the voice that was becoming stronger with every passing moment. _He is an enemy. Just like Sidious, he has stolen Anakin from me. Destroy, DESTROY, DESTROY._

"Obi-Wan, if you are still in there, put your lightsaber down," Mace said with a pinched expression on his face. "I don't want to fight you. I do not want to kill you."

Obi-Wan gave him a feral smile. "Is that why you ignited your lightsaber?"

Mace grimaced. "I ignited my lightsaber because you killed the Supreme Chancellor of the Republic and I have to arrest you or the Order would be accused of sanctioning his assassination. A Sith should not be mistaken for a Jedi, and you are no Jedi now."

"Liar," Obi-Wan said, stalking around the Korun like a predator around its prey. "That is not why you want to arrest me. You think I haven't noticed how much you loathe Anakin's loyalty to me? You are jealous, Mace. You hate that your padawan loves _me_ more."

Mace's nostrils flared. "Have you lost your mind, Kenobi? Anakin has nothing to do with this!"

Obi-Wan snorted in disbelief and launched his attack, the blue blade clashing with the purple one.

And then they were off.

Obi-Wan had never fought so well in his life. Sidious hadn't lied about one thing: the Dark Side truly made him stronger, his anger, bitterness, and jealousy giving him an unprecedented strength in the Force. If it were not for the Dark Side, he had little doubt that he would be no match for Master Windu: the Korun was widely considered the best duelist the Order had ever produced.

But at that moment, it didn't matter. At that moment, Obi-Wan was _stronger, better, more_ , and he lifted his lightsaber to deliver the killing blow--

"Obi-Wan!"

Obi-Wan flinched, like a wild beast reined back.

Blinking dazedly, he turned his head, and there was Anakin, staring at him with wide blue eyes.

"What have you done?" Anakin whispered hoarsely.

Before he could say anything, Obi-Wan felt a lightsaber against his throat.

"Drop your weapon, Kenobi. You are under arrest."

Obi-Wan didn't look at Master Windu. He was still looking at Anakin, who paled even more at Windu's words. "Master, no!"

"Stay out of it, Padawan," Windu bit out. "You have just seen yourself how far he's gone: he was ready to kill me if it weren't for your arrival."

"But he stopped," Anakin said, walking forward. "That's the important part, isn't it? That proves that he isn't completely lost."

Windu's lips thinned. "Look into his eyes, Anakin. The Dark Side corrupts. The man we knew is gone already. This man is not him. He's deranged, unstable, and dangerous."

"I don't believe it," Anakin said, walking over and looking Obi-Wan in the eye. "Obi-Wan? Master?"

Obi-Wan just stared at him, still breathing unsteadily. It was incredibly difficult to gather his thoughts. His body felt like it didn't belong to him, his thoughts in chaos, his negative emotions all-consuming. _Kill, destroy, mine mine MINE._

"Master," Anakin said softly, lifting his hand and touching his cheek.

Obi-Wan sneered. "Am I?" he said snidely.

Anakin frowned, his blue eyes full of something like confusion. "Of course you are. I stopped calling you Master because..." he trailed off, flushing and giving a sideways glance at Windu. And yet he continued, his jaw setting stubbornly. "Because I wanted our relationship to be that of equals. I wanted you to stop seeing me as a boy. I thought that's what you wanted."

"Anakin?" Windu said, his voice ringing with tension and disbelief.

But Anakin didn't look at him. His gaze remained on Obi-Wan. "Please, Master. This isn't you. Come back. I love you."

Windu let out a choked sound, but Obi-Wan didn't look his way.

He stared at Anakin, his chaotic thoughts finally snapping into a semblance of order.

Anakin. It was his Anakin, looking at him with devastated, _scared_ eyes. Scared. This was wrong. Anakin had never been scared of him. Anakin should never be scared of him.

The sheer wrongness of it was like a bucket of icy cold water.

This fear on Anakin's face... that devastation... Obi-Wan had seen it before. Had _felt_ it.

On Mustafar.

_You're breaking my heart, Anakin.You're going down the path I can't follow._

_You were my brother, Anakin. I loved you._

Force. What had he done?

The bond between them reopened, Anakin's fear, love, and Light flooding into him in a tidal wave that quickly overwhelmed him.

One of Obi-Wan's knees gave out, then the other. An inhuman noise leaving his throat, Obi-Wan closed his eyes and _clung_ to Anakin's Light.

Despite using the bond to Anakin as his anchor, it was still incredibly difficult to get rid of the Dark. The Dark Side refused to withdraw the claws it had sunk into him, lingering in his thoughts like poison.

_He betrayed you. He doesn't really love or need you. The Jedi are all weak, useless, and misguided--_

_I love you_ , Anakin sent to him through the bond. _I love you, Obi-Wan. Don't leave me. Please. I need you._

The words registered, but it felt as though they were coming from a great distance, muffled and twisted by the Dark Side. Absently, Obi-Wan wondered if this was how Anakin--his padawan--had felt when Padmé and Obi-Wan tried to talk to him on Mustafar.

At the time, Obi-Wan had come to the conclusion that Anakin had been completely gone, replaced by Vader. Now he knew how wrong he had been. Anakin had still been there, crying for help, but unable to throw off the Dark Side.

And Obi-Wan had cut him in half and watched him burn alive, utterly oblivious to Anakin's inner struggle.

Obi-Wan's eyes filled with tears, the anger inside him replaced by his grief. Force, how could he have been so wrong?

_I am so sorry, dear one. I have failed you. I have failed you in both lives._

"It's not too late, Obi-Wan," Anakin said fiercely, squeezing his shoulders. "Look at me, Master."

Obi-Wan lifted his tear-filled gaze. For a moment, he was disoriented. For a moment, he had expected to see wild golden curls and a scar instead of a smooth face and a padawan braid.

"You need to forgive yourself, Obi-Wan," Anakin said, looking him in the eye. "You'll never be able to move on until you forgive yourself. Your guilt and grief are just fueling the Dark Side. Let it go, Master."

Obi-Wan swallowed, lifting his trembling hand and cupping Anakin's cheek. "You are so strong and wise, Anakin. I'm so proud of you." His throat closed up as he recalled saying something similar to the other Anakin before losing him.

Anakin's eyes narrowed. "Why do you sound like you're saying goodbye? You _did_ it, Master. I can feel the Dark Side losing its hold on you. Your eyes aren't even yellow anymore!"

Obi-Wan shook his head with a humorless smile. "It doesn't matter, Anakin. There is no going back for me." He glanced sideways at the stony face of Master Windu, who had watched the entire exchange, his jaw tight. "Your Master will expel me from the Order even if I don't leave willingly."

Anakin bit his bottom lip, dropping his gaze. "Then I'm leaving with you," he said, lifting his eyes, his jaw set.

"No," Obi-Wan said at the same time as Mace did.

Not looking at the Korun, Obi-Wan said gently, "You are a Jedi, Anakin. You are already a far better Jedi than I am. You deserve better than a civilian life with a broken man twice your age."

Anakin glowered at him. "Let me be the judge of it. You don't get to decide for me, Obi-Wan." Cradling Obi-Wan's face, he leaned forward and kissed him on the lips, endlessly needy. Obi-Wan couldn't help himself: he kissed back, like a drowning man would breathe the air. He was already missing him even though he was right there, in his arms.

"Enough!" Master Windu snapped, his anger and disbelief palpable. "That is enough."

Breaking the kiss, Anakin turned his head to the Korun, his flushed cheek resting against Obi-Wan's face. "I'm sorry, Master," he said, his voice laced with genuine regret. "But I love him. I will follow him wherever he goes. If Obi-Wan leaves the Order, so will I."

There was a deafening silence for a moment. Obi-Wan didn't look at Mace--couldn't--his eyes closed as he breathed in Anakin's scent.

A better man would insist that Anakin should stay with the Order.

He wasn't a better man, not anymore. The truth was, Anakin was his _life_. Obi-Wan couldn't live without him; he would merely exist.

"Anakin..." Mace bit out, his voice wavering. "How long has this been going on? I'll have him arrested and--"

"Master, please," Anakin whispered. "Don't make it harder."

Obi-Wan hugged him close, feeling how upset Anakin actually was, no matter how hard he tried to hide it.

He knew Anakin had come to really respect and like Master Windu--which still seemed bizarre after the animosity between them in Obi-Wan's previous life. Disappointing Master Windu was clearly upsetting to Anakin, and Obi-Wan had no idea how to fix it, especially since it was his fault.

Ignoring his own shame and discomfort, Obi-Wan opened his eyes and met Mace's gaze. He almost flinched at the look of pure disdain on the Korun's face. It was a familiar expression--he'd seen Mace look that way at Anakin in the other life--but this time that look wasn't directed at Anakin. It was directed at Obi-Wan.

At last, the Korun bit out, "Master Kenobi, do you have any ideas how we can explain the death of the Supreme Chancellor of the Republic without compromising the Jedi Order? I don't know about you, but we were likely seen coming here."

Obi-Wan blinked, utterly confused. "Pardon?"

Mace glared at him. "No one can know about what happened here."

Anakin was the first to get to his feet. "Master?" he said tentatively, giving Mace a searching look.

Mace's jaw clenched, his expression very sour as he said, "You will not leave the Order, Anakin. I will not allow all my efforts to go to waste."

A small smile appeared on Anakin's lips. "You mean you won't tell anyone about Obi-Wan?"

Master Windu glowered at him. "Tell what? That he broke the Jedi Code? Or that he killed the Chancellor? Or that he briefly became a Darksider? Or perhaps the fact that he has an illicit relationship with my padawan?"

Obi-Wan grimaced.

Anakin blushed. "All of the above?"

Mace scowled. "He will be watched," he gritted out. "If he slips to the Dark Side again, he will be expelled from the Order. I will also recommend demoting him back to a Jedi Knight."

Anakin frowned, but Obi-Wan bowed his head, nowhere near as upset about this as he would have been in the previous life.

"I accept this punishment, Master," he said, sending Anakin a warning when he seemed to be on the verge of protesting. _That's all right, dear one. He is right. I am no Jedi Master. I do not deserve being called one._

Anakin's brows furrowed, but he seemed to understand what he meant.

"And your unsanctioned Force Bond will be broken," Mace said, narrowing his eyes at them. "And you will never be allowed to take on a padawan while I'm alive, Kenobi."

Obi-Wan pursed his lips and nodded, though he doubted that breaking their bond would work--it would likely just re-establish itself, since it was a natural bond.

He could sense that Anakin was a little upset about the bond, but mostly he was _happy_ about the latter part of the punishment. Obi-Wan almost smiled at that, amused despite himself. If Mace wanted this to feel like punishment, he should have ordered Obi-Wan to take on another padawan instead of indulging Anakin's possessiveness.

Obi-Wan looked at Mace, expecting more conditions, but it seemed there were none.

Obi-Wan blinked in surprise, realizing that Mace hadn't even attempted to forbid them from continuing their relationship.

Perhaps Mace knew Anakin better than Obi-Wan had thought.

Anakin seemed to have realized the same thing. "Thank you, Master," Anakin croaked out, the Force around him _singing_ with his gratitude and happiness before he launched himself at Master Windu and hugged him tightly.

Mace scowled, but, to Obi-Wan's surprise, he didn't push the boy away.

Obi-Wan averted his gaze. He wondered what he would have done in Mace's place. He knew that in his previous life, he wouldn't have been lenient if he had discovered that his barely legal padawan was having an affair with a Council member. The mere thought made Obi-Wan deeply uncomfortable--and angry--and he suddenly felt a pang of sympathy for the Korun. His position was not enviable. Truth be told, Obi-Wan was surprised by how lenient Mace was. It wasn't at all like him.

Mace cleared his throat and pushed Anakin away. "That's enough, Padawan," he said in a clipped voice, avoiding their gazes. Mace fixed his eyes on Palpatine's corpse and pressed his lips together. "The question is, how are we going to explain _this_?"


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter and epilogue.

_THE CHANCELLOR ASSASINATED_

_CHANCELLOR PALPATINE FOUND DEAD_

_Early this morning, Jedi Master Mace Windu reportedly "sensed great danger" coming to the Chancellor. Upon arrival at the Chancellor's apartment, he and his padawan, Anakin Skywalker, found the Chancellor's guards unconscious and the security footage erased. Chancellor Palpatine was found in his bedroom, killed by a strong electrostatic discharge caused by an unknown weapon. The weapon left very little of the Chancellor's body. It appears that the Chancellor tried to run away from the assassin, as there is some evidence of struggle, but in the end, the assassin killed him._

_The Jedi Council is conducting an investigation in conjunction with the Coruscant Police._

***

Anakin paced outside the Council Chamber, worrying his bottom lip anxiously. The Council had been in session for hours, and Anakin's nerves were absolutely frayed. What if the Council decided to give Obi-Wan to the authorities, after all? Or expel him?

Although his Master had said he would help Obi-Wan, the Council would have to be told _something_. Anakin had considered asking his Master what he was planning to tell them, but Master Mace had seemed in a particularly foul mood since they left Palpatine's apartment, and to be entirely honest, Anakin wasn't looking forward to their conversation in private, all things considered.

Kriff, the wait was killing him.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, the door opened, and Obi-Wan walked out. Anakin looked at him searchingly.

Obi-Wan seemed tired and emotionally drained, but there was a new peace about him, as if the weight he'd been carrying for a long time--ever since Anakin had known him, really--was finally gone.

"Master?" Anakin said uncertainly, unsure what to make of it.

Obi-Wan gave him a small smile. "No, Padawan. It will be Knight Kenobi from now on."

Anakin frowned. "What did they demote you for?" He still didn't think Obi-Wan deserved being demoted.

"They did not demote me, Anakin," Obi-Wan said, stepping closer. He laid his hand on Anakin's shoulder and steered him away from the Council Chamber.

Anakin tried not to lean into the touch too obviously, but judging by the softening of Obi-Wan's gaze, he didn't succeed.

Obi-Wan clarified, "I asked to be demoted myself. I do not think I can call myself a Jedi Master when I have trouble being a Jedi. I need to learn again."

Chewing on his lip, Anakin nodded. He didn't really agree, but he could see that Obi-Wan was at peace with that decision--he truly did not see it as punishment.

Glancing around, Anakin lowered his voice. "But what does the Council know?"

Stroking his beard, Obi-Wan sighed. "Although Master Windu was willing not to tell them about my transgressions, I knew I would never be able to turn over a new leaf if I continued lying. I told them everything, Anakin."

Anakin stared at him. "Everything? Even about your slip to the Dark Side? How did they take it?"

Obi-Wan grimaced. "It was...rather unpleasant, I admit. But it could have been worse. They now know that Palpatine was a Sith, so they don't blame me for killing him, but they are concerned about my... mental state and judgement. My seat in the Council has been revoked, though I would have given it up in any case along with my rank of Master."

"What happens now?" Anakin said, curling his fingers into a fist to prevent himself from reaching out and grabbing Obi-Wan's hand. They stopped in front of the tall window that overlooked the Temple gardens.

"I'm not sure, Anakin," Obi-Wan said, looking out the window. "The Council will not reveal that I was the one who killed Sidious--it will only make everything complicated--but other than that... " He winced a little. "I am to have appointments with a mind healer every other day until they confirm that I'm no longer tainted by the Dark Side." His expression turned sour. "I also have to talk to them about my past experiences."

Anakin nodded, secretly feeling glad. He had always thought Obi-Wan would benefit from some professional help to deal with the traumatic experiences of his other life. There were so many things that triggered Obi-Wan for seemingly no reason, and Anakin had always felt painfully inadequate every time it happened.

"In any case, my slip to the Dark Side was not the main issue for the Council. My relationship with you was."

Anakin's jaw fell open. "You told them about us, too? Why? I can only imagine how badly they took it!"

"They were... less than impressed," Obi-Wan said, his gaze dropping. "But it was not as bad as it could have been. Ironically, the fact that you are not my padawan in this life makes our relationship far less reprehensible in the Council's opinion than it otherwise would have been. While I was technically in a position of power over you as a Council member, I have never actually overseen any of your missions. So it makes things easier."

Anakin blinked a few times. "You mean they are fine with us?" he said incredulously.

Obi-Wan gave him a crooked smile. " _Fine_ would be an exaggeration, but... Strictly speaking, we are hardly the first Jedi to be in a relationship, Anakin; it is simply not advertised. The Council was definitely not happy, but I told them that we would not stay in the Order if they tried to separate us." Obi-Wan lips twitched. "You can probably imagine how well _that_ was received."

Anakin laughed. "I'm surprised they didn't just kick us out for your nerve."

"They probably would have, but Mace has an immense influence over the other Council members. It probably also helped that he told them that he could sense that you would do great--truly great--things in the future as a Jedi."

Anakin blinked, stunned. "Master has never told me anything."

Something like amusement flickered across Obi-Wan's face. "He was wise not to. Your ego does not need stroking, Anakin."

"Hey!" Anakin said, playfully swatting him on the chest. "I am a model Jedi."

"Compared to me, probably," Obi-Wan said with a laugh.

The rays of dying sunlight caught in his auburn hair, and Anakin found himself staring, painfully self-conscious of how besotted he was, of how much he loved this man.

Anakin let his fingers brush against Obi-Wan's, uncaring that they were in a public place. He couldn't help himself. Kriff it. If the Council knew, it wouldn't be long before everyone else did. "I love you," he said, his voice wavering. "No matter what happens, I'll always stand by you."

Obi-Wan's expression became serious, the look in his eyes oddly naked. "I know," he said, curling his fingers around Anakin's. "You are the other half of my soul, dear one." His eye were suspiciously shiny. "I am not... I am not certain that all my decisions in this life concerning you were correct, but I always tried to do my best. To make you happy and keep you whole."

Anakin smiled at him helplessly. He entwined their fingers, squeezing them. "You did," he said, his throat uncomfortably tight. "You did, Master."

And uncaring of anyone who might be watching, he stepped closer and kissed Obi-Wan tenderly, pouring all his love into that kiss. He _loved_ this man, this strong, incredible man who, despite the terrible things he had witnessed and lived through, still hadn't lost his capacity to love and care.

Anakin didn't know what the future had in store for them--he had no doubts that the Council would make their life very difficult regardless of Master Mace's support--but he was certain of one thing: this was _right_. Love healed. Love made the world better. This couldn't be wrong, no matter what the Jedi Council thought.

Perhaps, in time the Jedi would see the errors of their ways--and change.

If they don't, well... Maybe Anakin would _make_ them change, one day.

**Epilogue**

_Six months later_

Obi-Wan dreamed.

At first, he thought it was just a dream, but there was a certain depth to it, the Force whispering to him that this was important, that this _would_ happen.

*

_An older Anakin, standing tall and proud at his Knighting ceremony. A circle of Jedi Masters around him, Obi-Wan one of them._

_Anakin speaks, touching his padawan braid._

_"Masters, I have a request," he says, his voice firm. "I hope my Master will not take offense at this request, but I would like for my braid to be cut by the Jedi who gave me my first lightsaber and taught me how to hold it. By the Jedi who patiently taught an uneducated slave how to touch the Force and respect it. I took my first steps as a Jedi under the guidance of Obi-Wan, and I will be forever grateful for that." He turns to Obi-Wan and bows. "Master, will you do me the honor?"_

_"Only if Master Windu has no objections," Obi-Wan says hoarsely._

_Obi-Wan can feel that the Korun has mixed feelings about it, but in the end Mace shakes his head, and Obi-Wan takes Anakin's braid and cuts it off with his lightsaber._

_He gives the braid to Anakin. "Knight Skywalker," he says, his voice catching. "Congratulations."_ I'm so proud of you.

_Anakin smiles at him, his eyes shining. Then he walks to Master Windu and bows to him. "Obi-Wan is the one who taught me how to make my first steps in the Force," he says, looking Mace in the eye. "But you have taught me how to be the Jedi I am. Thank you, Master. For believing in me--for everything. This belongs to you." He places his braid into Mace's hand and squeezes their hands together._

_Master Windu's expression becomes very pinched, his jaw tight, before he jerks Anakin close and gives him a one-armed hug. "Of course it does, brat," he says gruffly. "After all the gray hair you have given me."_

_Anakin laughs and hugs him back. "You don't have hair, Master."_

_The vision fades._

_*_

_This vision is different._

_At first Obi-Wan is unsure why the Jedi he sees at the Temple are so unfamiliar. But then he sees the Hall of History, and realizes that it must be hundreds of years in the future, if not thousands._

_Because there is an ancient statue in the center of the Hall and it's... Anakin. An_ _older Anakin with a firm, wise gaze. Even as a statue, he exudes immense power and balance. It is difficult to look away._

_There is a beautiful engraving under the statue that says something, but Obi-Wan does not read it._

_He does not need to._

*

Obi-Wan woke up, gasping. The Force was still vibrating in his body, and it took him a while to find his serenity again.

When he did, he turned his head and looked at the young man sleeping by his side, with his arm thrown around Obi-Wan's stomach.

Obi-Wan stared at Anakin's smooth face, at his long, golden eyelashes almost touching his cheeks, his soft mouth pressed against Obi-Wan's ribs, and felt his chest tighten with emotion.

 _Thank you_ , he sent into the Force, feeling deeply humbled and grateful for the precious gift the Force had just given him.

The future was always in motion, but the Force had just shown him that this was the right path, or at least _a_ right path. Perhaps Anakin would not have walked this path without the Force's intervention and Obi-Wan's time-travel, but this path would still lead Anakin to the great destiny that had been stolen from him in Obi-Wan's original life.

The thought made his eyes sting, but the crushing grief and guilt he had half-expected were not there anymore. Although it had been just six months, Obi-Wan had to admit that the therapy the Council had forced on him seemed to be helping him.

That said, Obi-Wan suspected that the young man sleeping in his arms was the biggest reason for his emotional wounds finally healing, little by little.

The good thing about Anakin being Mace Windu's padawan was that he was rarely sent on missions off-world, since his Master was at the Temple most of the time. It ensured that Anakin almost always was at the Temple, which allowed him and Obi-Wan to spend more time together than they ever had. Mace clearly didn't entirely approve, but Obi-Wan had come to a rather disconcerting--and amusing--conclusion that Anakin had his Master wrapped around his little finger.

Having Anakin to come home to after his missions was... incredible. Although the Council pretended that their relationship didn't exist, they _were_ aware of it, so Obi-Wan and Anakin didn't have to worry about hiding their relationship, which made an enormous difference.

It undoubtedly also helped that Obi-Wan no longer had to lead a double life now that the Separatists and the Republic reached a peaceful agreement thanks to Chancellor Amidala and "Ben Kenobi's" efforts.

In any case, Obi-Wan felt more at peace than he had in decades. At peace and... happy.

Happiness. Obi-Wan had never thought he would ever feel it again, not after Mustafar, but as he gazed at Anakin's sleeping form in his arms, a quiet joy filled his heart.

He hadn't failed Anakin, not this time. One day, Anakin would be a great Jedi Master--and if his vision came true, _more_ than that.

Obi-Wan smiled wistfully and brushed his lips against Anakin's forehead. He had always known Anakin had the potential to be a better Jedi than Obi-Wan could ever hope to be, and knowing that he would have the privilege of witnessing that... it filled his chest with pride and happiness.

He suddenly thought of Luke and Leia, Anakin's incredible children that would not be born in this life. The thought was a little saddening, but it didn't feel _wrong_.

It made him wonder.

In the other life, Obi-Wan had assumed that the prophecy had been misinterpreted and Luke was the real Chosen One rather than his father--the boy was so much like Anakin, so very bright in the Force.

But for the first time, Obi-Wan wondered if the twins' strength in the Force had been just the Force's response to Anakin's Fall. If Anakin hadn't Fallen, the twins might not have been so strong in the Force. After all, the Force always tried to balance itself and Anakin's Fall had skewed the balance to the Dark Side immensely. But without Anakin's Fall, the twins' birth would not be necessary anymore as far as the Force was concerned.

It didn't stop Obi-Wan from wondering what had happened to Luke and Leia--and Darth Vader--in the other life.

Obi-Wan was still thinking about it as he fell asleep again.

He dreamed.

_But this dream--this vision--is different from the others. The Force whispers that this is something that would have happened, or would happen in another world. In another life._

_He sees Darth Vader. He sees Luke and Palpatine. He sees Palpatine striking Luke with Force-lightning, with Vader watching passively._

_His heart in his throat, Obi-Wan can only watch it happen, helpless. This is all his fault._

_But then..._

_He watches in disbelief as Vader kills Palpatine and saves his son, sacrificing himself in the process._

_It isn't Darth Vader who speaks to his son before dying in his arms. It's Anakin, broken and scarred physically, but his soul is bright and shining with Light once again._

_He watches his own Force ghost take Anakin's spirit by his hand and guide him toward the bright, pulsing light that is the Force._

_They join it, together._

Obi-Wan woke up, his eyes wet, and the hollow, charred feeling inside him that he had been carrying since Mustafar finally gone.

He gathered Anakin into his arms, smiling wetly, his heart so very full.

Anakin made a sleepy noise before opening his eyes. "Obi-Wan?" he mumbled, burying his fingers in Obi-Wan's hair. "Why aren't you asleep?"

Obi-Wan looked at him greedily. Force, he would never get enough of him. "I had a dream."

Anakin's brows furrowed. After his false vision about his mother, he seemed a little wary of dreams these days. "A bad one?" he said.

Obi-Wan smiled and shook his head. Pressing their foreheads together, he breathed in Anakin's scent--the scent that meant _home, right, beloved_ , and said softly, "A very good one."

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe it's finally finished! Thank you so much for reading. ❤️ I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I enjoyed writing it!


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